Not sure how to approach long overdue conversations while staying in Frame

Praexology · 2023-04-24T03:53:51+00:00

I've been doing RP about a month now.

I'm already different by action in every way.

I've had food in my fridge longer. A month after a lifetime is entirely insufficient.

Meteor1x · 2023-04-24T05:03:19+00:00

You will stay in her frame with your current mindset. Try to think less about her and start recognising that: You are improving for yourself. Not for your mom your boss or your wife. You are doing it to become a better you.

Ron_Porambo · 2023-04-24T00:55:51+00:00

Don't worry...you'll be tested and then some-in due time.

Adamantium frame is forged in the fires of adversity.

man_in_the_world · 2023-04-24T06:41:34+00:00

Am I even correct about that or am I still not getting it?

No. You're still not getting it.

Wanting to talk it out with her is a sign that you're still operating in her frame. You can't negotiate or discuss your way to your own frame.

Thinking that talking it through will help shows that you still have a beta mentality.

STFU, and let your changed actions, over many months, speak for themselves over time.

Remington-Holmes · 2023-04-24T11:10:41+00:00

When you have done the work to become an attractive man with frame, you will not be concerned about the response of your wife. Why? Because you should be an attractive man, living his life primarily for himself and what he wants. If the wife is not providing the 'value' you want, then you won't reward bad behaviour with your precious time, attention, affection, validation, resources and presence.

You should then be an attractive man with options. That should be clearly observable to your wife (without you having to tell her, or playing silly games to demonstrate it). If a wife values such an attractive man and wants to keep him actively in her life then she will need to enter her man's frame, and look to behave in a way that will keep her man sufficiently happy. There is no guarantee that a woman will change her behaviour, which is why your effort must be for yourself. Also, if all those efforts are for her reaction, you will unconsciously have a covert contract. You would be playing a 'nice guy' manipulative game, that a woman will be able to sense, and it will disgust her. This is also referred to as being 'a dancing monkey'.

BobbyPeru · 2023-04-24T07:39:39+00:00

Why the fuck would you want to have that conversation? I’m seriously curious. What you need to do is STFU, lift, and finish the sidebar. 1 month is Jack shit. Do those things I mentioned, and eventually you will develop frame if you keep practicing and learning. It takes time, usually a year or 2 or hard frustrating work.

Trust me, I know you think you know what frame is, but you don’t. How can you know about something you don’t possess? That’s the irony of frame. The only way to know what it is is to have it, and that takes time and work.

Remington-Holmes · 2023-04-29T20:03:02+00:00

The wife has a mental model of how you think and react. She probably knows what to do and say to get particular reactions from you. It will take time, effort and practice to become different and for her to realise.

Changing your mental models changes your 'automated reactions'. Changing mental models is difficult. You try to change your actions, and you try to change your way of thinking, with the help of the sidebar books.....which need a number of reads and you need to fix diet and lift (if you haven't done so already over a long time).

If you're like most of the 'nice guys' that turn up here, then you'll need to get yourself attractive, and stop being dependent on getting female validation, and validation through sex.

Most guys that turn up here are a lazy slob that makes little effort and then gives up. If you want to fix the problem then you'll need to make consistent effort over the long term - change lifelong habits and become someone else.

If you're s 'drunken captain' that fails on logistics, then those need addressing too.

When you're fun, sufficiently successful and attractive, lack of sex should not be a problem anymore. There is no guarantee that the wife will ever change, but you fix yourself and set yourself up for a life you enjoy. Women don't like being with an unattractive loser that no other woman wants. That's shameful.

Women do like to be with a fun successful attractive man that does not seek out female validation and they enjoy the excitement of competing against other women to keep you, as long as they aren't disheartened. Knowing that you're a man that fucks, and has interest from other women, 'can' turn a frigid wife back into a woman that fucks.

She would typically rather shit test you into a submissive role than make the effort to fix her place in your life. She doesn't know how to fix her attraction for you, and assumes that if she's not attracted now, then it will continue that way. If you remain validation seeking and submissive, then she won't be attracted. That is where frame is required, to have your own goals, outlook on life, expectations of a wife, and compromises that you will not make to please others at your own expense.

J-VV-R · 2023-04-24T06:13:56+00:00

One month in is nothing...

Keep the hammer down for five more months before evaluating.

Tines0 · 2023-04-24T01:24:12+00:00

I've been doing RP about a month now.

Wife is still super distant.

I've also been ignoring her more so I can own my shit.

Frankly so much of her complaints are legit.

I want her to get all that shit out on me.

You should ask her how attractive she finds you each day out of 10 and just recalibrate based on her answers. You're doing this for her anyway.

I've been a faggot beta nice guy for years. She isn't going to buy some overnight transformation and I'm saying fuck it.

Then why are you asking this question?

Be patient. Lift, STFU, Read. Post in OYS. The answers are all there.

redwall92 · 2023-04-24T14:28:42+00:00

Are you asking what place mouth noises should play in this dance you are doing?

SoggyTrain · 2023-04-24T15:28:33+00:00

I forgot part of the sidebar tells you to have conversations with your wife after you've tried really hard for a month?

Give me a fucking break.

This isn't a short term thing. It took me YEARS to get my relationship where I am at.
Conversations with a wife RARELY fix anything. Shut up.

SteveSan82 · 2023-05-05T04:14:21+00:00

Stop thinking about your wife. Do what you want. Don’t answer her questions, don’t explain the RP to her

Kevlar__Soul · 2023-05-11T22:42:08+00:00

The biggest covert contract I found is if I follow the red pill teachings and my wife will suddenly want to fuck me. The day your not doing all this for her validation (sex) is the day your on the right track.

There is no need for a conversation. Your making improvement to your life for you not as some covert contract for her love and respect.

Title	Not sure how to approach long overdue conversations while staying in Frame
Author	SteveGonnaFuckHer
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	April 23, 2023 5:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/12wjz01/not_sure_how_to_approach_long_overdue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/not-sure-how-to-approach-long-overdue.1216670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216670

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