Is 23 too old? Was I supposed to start earlier?

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-04-27T21:52:18+00:00

I got divorced at 23. I'd kissed one person. I was morbidly obese, didn't know how to do my hair or apply makeup. I live in the South and everyone from high school was getting engaged, married, buying a house, and having babies. I felt like it was too late to have the life I wanted.

To make a long story short, I started working out, wearing dresses, and styling my hair. I watched YouTube videos to learn to apply my makeup and developed my own modest, but cute style. I went to grad school and built a career. I dated... a lot. My husband was my 21st first date. He had never been married, had no children, got along with his family, was funny and even-tempered, worked hard. He never cared that I'd only ever kissed one other person. He didn’t care that I needed to wait for sex. He waited eight months for me, in fact. He proposed at a year and a half. We married by two. That was six years and three kids ago next week.

You have time. Enjoy this stage of life, because one day you'll be trying to keep your cool while searching for your earbuds to drown out the toddler whining. Pro tip: check the toy microwave.

Mommy_Koala · 2023-04-27T23:19:50+00:00

Staying out of the dating scene until you feel ready will not turn you into an old cat lady. I think it’s smart to work on yourself and be secure in who you are before you try and build a life with someone.

I did start that young. One fateful night when I was 21, I fell for a boy wearing cargo shorts at a bar. He spent the night negging me and fixing his popped polo collar and I was a goner. He’s my ride or die now, but I have to acknowledge that we went through a lot of growing pains together. We were babies when we met, with zero clue on what we wanted from each other or life. Now, we’re completely different people with different needs and wants. I don’t have any regrets, but I have to imagine that dating and finding your person is easier when you’re more secure as an individual and feel ready for it. Participating in mediocre dating for the sake of dating won’t expedite that process.

Enjoy your early 20’s. The dating scene looks like an absolute hellscape right now. I wouldn’t spend anymore time in it than absolutely necessary.

tambourine_goddess · 2023-04-28T00:08:55+00:00

I get this, to some degree. I grew up in a very fundamentalist religious community and I scared all the guys (and they bored me). By the time I was 20, I realized I didn't know how to date, so I downloaded an app to learn how to talk to guys and go on dates well. It helped me. Obviously, you have to be discerning, but you have to eventually get out there and try, imo.

Highonuppers · 2023-04-28T05:22:01+00:00

What do you think is the cause of this? Is it because you were raised conservatively? Or maybe is it a lack of confidence? Either reason, hit the gym, practice self-care and work on your appearance, this might sound superficial, but when you look better you feel better. Leaving aesthetics aside, read and cultivate your mind, might as well find a hobby where you can meet people. Last but not least, get out of you comfort zone, it’s hard, but put yourself out there, smile and talk to people.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-27T21:20:59+00:00

Title: Is 23 too old? Was I supposed to start earlier?

Full text: Hello ladies. This is obviously a silly and kinda dumb question, but I just can't get it out of my mind. Warning, this may be a bit of a rant.

I am 23, almost 24, never dated and never kissed. I feel like I'm too late to the game at this point. I've been working on myself and trying to improve, but then I think about how old I'll be when I'm finally ready to enter the dating scene and I wonder, is it worth it? Ever since I was a teenager, my family & friends would poke fun at me and say that I'll end up an old cat lady and sometimes I wonder if they're right. I've always wanted to get married and have kids, but I just can't envision myself in that role like I used to because I wonder if I'm capable.

This probably sounds like me just shouting my worries into the ether, but I guess I'm posting this to see if anyone else has felt this way and what you did/are doing about it. Have a good one y'all

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

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TheEstheticsDiva09 · 2023-04-28T04:54:48+00:00

It’s definitely never too late! Considering that many people your age are engaging in hook up culture, the idea that you’re not will be very intriguing to many potential suitors in the future. You probably won’t find much luck with men your age, but you will have better luck with guys that are a bit older around 26-30 which is still a pretty modest age gap for someone of your age I think. The dating scene is wild right now, so you’re definitely going to encounter some frogs before you find your Prince. I know I did and I met my husband in 2017 and dating was already tough back then. It’s okay if it takes time, don’t feel pressured in believing that time is ticking because it’s not. You’re still quite young, you’ll be just fine.

ReflexionSolutions · 2023-04-28T04:56:13+00:00

I honestly don't think that's a problem. I was 22 when I first kissed someone, and in the year afterwards I thought it could have waited more.

Moreover, I know I personally (and I think most guys too) would love to meet a woman who waited until she felt ready for dating, instead of having dated for years just because "everyone else does it" and she felt she had too to not be "too late to the game".

Title	Is 23 too old? Was I supposed to start earlier?
Author	lady_marm
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	April 27, 2023 9:20 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1317j35/is_23_too_old_was_i_supposed_to_start_earlier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-23-too-old-was-i-supposed-to-start-earlier.1217024 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217024

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