I (24F) and my partner (30M)have been dating for about 2 months. We met online and met in person soon after. We talked for about a month before making it official (in total we’ve known each other for about 3 months). Soon after a month of dating he said the three words. I didn’t know how to react, I foresee it coming once he started the sentence and even had the urge to stop him from saying it. It’s been almost a month since that happened and I still don’t know how to feel.

I have only dated twice before him and we both have only said “I love you” to one person in our past. I do believe you can stop loving someone since I don’t have any feelings for this person anymore, or maybe it wasn’t really love. Love has a heavy, deep meaning to me, I take in the Bible’s definition, biological approach and emotional nature of it. So it’s not something that I give or say carelessly.

Anyways, I really like this guy. From the beginning I made it clear that I wanted to date with purpose; having marriage as a goal in our relationship and without premarital coitus. He is also taking our relationship with that level of importance. I think we are compatible in many ways, we try to be better for each other and our communication works. At first I was a little skeptic bc we weren’t having any arguments or disagreements. Now tho, I’ve gone thru some emotional moments and he’s been there for me. He also went thru some moments and have even gotten frustrated at me but we are working things good so far.

I do like this person, I respect him and look up to him. I believe I am growing feelings for him but I can’t tell what love is. It’s been 3 years since I thought I was in love. And with this guy I want things to work out and for our relationship to grow. However, I ask myself “if he asked me to marry him today, would I marry him next week?” And the answer is “no”. I am not sure if it’s because it’s a matter of time (too soon), or I feel like I don’t know a great deal of him, or simply I will never be ready.

I have been thinking that the day that my answer to that question is “yes” then I would feel free to say the three words. With this tho, I feel like I am robbing us a little of that spark and butterflies that come when you say those words. I do have strong feelings for him, I use the word “love” all the time, as “I want to give you my love freely”, “I need some love”…

I treat him very lovingly and affectionate. I accept him for who he is and as he comes. Even tho there might be things I don’t necessarily like of him, I don’t want to change him. I do things for him that I wouldn’t do for anyone else, I nourish him in a feminine way and all I do comes out of a tender heart.

He treats me well, he presents himself as someone I feel safe following, he does things for me and he is patient when I am being emotional. He shares his days with me and I feel included in his life. Sometimes I wished he was a wee bit more emotional, so I could feel his closeness and what he says he feels. For those who are aware, we are both enneagram type 5, so the lack of emotionality is definitely there from both of us, more on his side tho hehe.

Anyways, my question is how soon you said “I love you” to your partner and how do you know it’s love and How could you tell you were ready to say those words?

TLDR: I don’t know how to identify that I love my bf and when I should express it with explicit words.