Well, to be 100% accountable, I did it to myself because consuming RP was a choice, although an unconscious one.

My parents have a GREAT relationship so I've always wanted to have a good marriage and kids.

That said, after my last breakup I caught up some "avoidant attachmant style" behaviors, basically, I was affraid of EMOTIONAL intimacy because I didn't want to suffer again like I did in my last breakup.

1 year after the breakup, I began consuming RP bullshit...

So what happened? I began having casual sex with women I met through dating apps, women I met during high school, women from the gym, and even women I was dating at some point.

What's wrong with this you may ask?

Maybe there's nothing OBJETIVELY wrong about it, but relatinoships and emotions are NOT objective, they are very personal and subjective, and for me, sex has always been a SUPER INTIMATE AND EMOTIONAL ACT.

So intimate and emotional that I don't like to have sex with the women I'm dating because I don't want to catch feelings for someone I'm not sure if we are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend at some point.

On the other hand, one of the worst feelings I've ever had (besides from loosing family members) has been laying in bed after sex besides a woman I don't give a fuck about and basically used her for casual sex...

Every time I have done this, I end up feeling lonely and empty inside for a couple of weeks.

But you know the RP bullshit: "Men are not designed to be monogamous, men are poligamous, men can't have only 1 woman, bla bla bla".

On the contrary, a couple of years ago, I took 6 months off from porn, dating and sex becase I wanted to heal from my break up and it has been one of the most peaceful times on my life.

It was WAY BETTER that my "casual sex" period of time.

So fast forward to a couple of months ago, and I stopped consuming so much RP bullshit, and I met a great woman and I was very excited to be with her.

We had lot's of chemistry and after 2 months of dating, we slept together and had sex... even thought I didn't want because I was afraid of catching feelings for her and not end up being in a relationship with her.

But the RP beliefs were still inside my head, I thought that a "real man" has sex with every fucking single woman that wants to have sex with him.

And oh boy I regret having sex with her because she told me a couple of weeks ago that she needed space...

So I gave her the space and I also gave up EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF RP CONTENT FOREVER.

I unsubscribed from every single dating "guru" that spills non-sense.

I'm tired of men vs. women narratives.

I'm tired of casual sex.

I'm tired of looking at dating as a performance.

I want a serious committed relationship with someone I care about and who cares about me in return.

And yes, I take 100% responsability for what has happened to me.

Now it's my turn to get things back in order and be congruent with my desires of a relationship.

In fact, I'm taking a 3 month period off from Instagram, dating, and dating apps.

I want to recover my authentic self.

Thanks for reading :)