First hearing is approaching. It’s not a complicated divorce (no kids, no house, she’s <40, and not a high net worth marriage). However it was 10+ year marriage, but we been separated completely without comingling for 5 years, so while there’s an income difference she already works full-time and has a degree. I have twice as much debt as savings.

We were to be uncontested but she reneged in that and now my finances are getting drained.

Most frustrating is her and her attorney take looonnng to respond to anything. Like ANY routine questions they’ll take 2 weeks to respond. This has frustrated attempts to reach/offer an agreement and avoid a trial. Also they wanted me to pay up front all her attorney fees, which is even more expensive than my own high-cost lawyer. How do regular folks afford paying TWO sets of attorney fees? If the man is a CEO sure, but it’s a real financial bazooka for regular men.

Questions:

  1. Does anything happen or matter at a first hearing? Or it’s just ticking boxes?

  2. how can one party just drag their feet? Will a trial date add more urgency? And if judge orders their attorney fees are paid for wouldn’t they ave an incentive to just drag things out even more?

  3. an I screwed on attorney fees? And when attorney fees are awarded is man always ordered to pay full amount, or it’s partial? Payment plans possible? All this is a thing even if it puts you in serious debt?

  4. if one party is actually trying to settle and communicate regularly but other party is either just not responding or being productive—is that a factor in the proceedings ?

  5. Does being separated for 5 years have ANY bearing whatsoever on the case and status quo, or is that irrelevant?

  6. Is a simple trial like ours the same thing as a complex trial (high net worth, kids, houses, businesses, etc)? In terms of cost and time and what women are usually awarded.