LTR may have herpes how to handle?

cappadocianhawk · 2018-01-30T18:21:38+00:00

So she was tested and was fine before she was with you, you were tested and were fine before you were with her, and you two started fucking and now she has it.

I'm not much for Television, but it reads like a House episode to me. Please post an update later because I'm curious.

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2018-01-30T19:20:05+00:00

I'm going to go out on the limb and say this is a campus doctor?
A good buddy of mine is a PA and worked on campus for a while. He told me that you would not believe the number of college-age girls that come in thinking that they have herpes, at least a handful a day. Most of the time they're right (and they know it). About 50% of college age women have herpes these days. By the time you're my age, if you're still in the "dating pool" then it's pretty much guaranteed... just not every girl will tell you about it, and with suppressive medication you wouldn't notice anyway.

False negatives are mathematically possible but very, very uncommon. Basically you would have had to contract it a week or two before the actual blood test, or somebody at the lab would have to mix up some blood samples.

More than likely, if your LTR is trustworthy, it is just a rash or an ingrown hair or something like that and her doctor is getting hasty. You simply can't diagnose it by looking at it. On the bright side though, herpes really isn't that bad. Literally the worst part about it is having to tell your future partners about it.

If she does come back positive though, that would be pretty difficult for me to handle personally. If she comes back positive and doesn't blame you for it instantly, I can pretty much guarantee she has not been faithful. I had an LTR way back in the day get it and tell me she picked it up from a used gym towel. My much older, TRP self knows much better now... my sweet little "angel" accidentally slipped and fell on Chad's cock that "one night".

MattyAnon · 2018-01-30T21:35:46+00:00

Wait till it's confirmed or denied.

The most likely scenario is that the results were a false negative.

more likely she already had it, or she cheated.

get yourself tested again, obviously.

I have a doc appointment in a couple days to get checked.

Good.

Work things out with the results, you can't really think it all through before that.

But other than being cool, calm, and collected, should I do anything else to handle her volatile emotional state?

HER volatile emotional state? Fuck that, the chick might have given you herpes.

Get the results, take it from there.

CutLiver · 2018-01-30T19:05:02+00:00

If it is herpes, you have to come to terms with the fact that she might have cheated on you. There's also the possibility that the test she got didn't pick it up. It can go undetected. A lot of STD tests don't even include it unless you ask for it specifically. It's also possible she contracted it in the time between when she got tested and when she met you. Either way, use protection if you ever fuck her again. And take a good long moment and think about whether you want to be with someone who has herpes. That shit is for life, and if you continue screwing her unprotected you will get it.

RedSkeller · 2018-01-30T21:55:14+00:00

I had the same situation happen to me about a year ago. Was seeing a girl who got it. We both got tested. I was banging a girl before, a new one during and another one after and none of them had anything. She came back with a positive diagnosis and I came back negative. The nurse told me Herpes can lie dormant in the immune system for as much as five years after an exposure and really, it's more a stigma than anything. Obviously read between the lines. I didn't see the point of sticking around for the risk of exposure and she was pissed. Probably hates me and blamed me for giving it to her even though there is no evidence. Good times.

rpbanker · 2018-01-30T22:15:09+00:00

Per Mark Manson, 80% of Americans already have herpes, including most of us who don't know it. Oftentimes one or more lesions will appear, then disappear, then never appear again, but the "disease" still lives on in the nervous system. If she has it, and gets repeated outbreaks, she can get on Valtrex and you can both move on with your lives.

V_GMan · 2018-01-30T19:03:31+00:00

The most likely scenario is that the results were a false negative. She got tested a few months before we met and was clean.

Why are you dismissing the real MOST likely scenario: your GF is/was cheating on you.

soupladlelad · 2018-01-30T19:17:09+00:00

Cheating on her part is certainly a possibility but not a foregone conclusion. Herpes blood testing is garbage and associated with a high false negative and high false positive rate. The only way to get a solid answer is to test a lesion. Sounds like she had a lesion and definitely has it.

Either of you may have or may not have had it before the relationship. She may have or may not have cheated. Also you didn't mention type in relation to your testing or her lesion. It is also possible that you gave it to her through oral sex if you have ever had a cold sore.

topothebellcurve · 2018-01-31T00:49:57+00:00

Based on the numbers ive read, i resigned myself to the fact that, unless you are celibate, you likely have herp. And that amounts to....likely nothing. As in, zero symptoms. And if you get cold sores, there's an app for that.

Hopefully we'll come up with a cure, but the common cold is more of a concern in the mean time.

Kommanderdude · 2018-01-30T20:59:12+00:00

She is either.

Cheating on you.

Or

You’re one of those cock fags that thinks 3 months of casual dating is an ltr.

wheresmyshwarma · 2018-01-30T19:11:58+00:00

Remindme! 1 week

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-01-30T22:25:55+00:00

A. Stop fucking her.

B. Get tested.

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2018-02-07T18:25:33+00:00

IgM testing is useless. Not only does it have false positives, but it also results in a positive for a recurrence. Thus, it is completely useless for determining a NEW infection.

IgG tests are reliable. They will test positive once you have had antibodies for at least 4 months.

Testing for herpes via blood test (IgG) BEFORE 4 months post exposure won’t give you a reliable result.

Monero_xm · 2018-01-30T19:01:37+00:00

. She got tested a few months before we met and was clean.

If it comes back as herpes, you know what she did. Don't be stupid

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-01-30T19:32:59+00:00

Hahahahahahaha troll post, get this shit out of here

Narcissist456 · 2018-01-30T19:03:19+00:00

The MORE likely scenario is that she fucked someone else raw, while you two were “together.”

RAiderNat88 · 2018-01-30T21:42:31+00:00

Wrap your willy! Dilly dilly!

GunnarX · 2018-01-30T22:20:43+00:00

Of course you came back clean - Males cannot be tested for HPV unless we have visual symptoms. Women are tested via ‘Pap smears’.

The only way we know if we have it is if we present with visual symptoms... many strains of Human Papilloma Virus don’t even effect us, as men.

Tell her, as said below, how many people actually have it and that it isn’t a big deal (if you believe that... don’t lie).

Title	LTR may have herpes how to handle?
Author	Imarobot2
Upvotes	7
Comments	31
Date	January 30, 2018 6:16 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7u30ts/ltr_may_have_herpes_how_to_handle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-may-have-herpes-how-to-handle.123018 https://theredarchive.com/post/123018

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