It’s been 9 months since it ended and I’m still struggling as much as the beginning nearly.

I’ve done therapy and that helped me realize there were some less than healthy things on her end that likely caused me to get to the point where I did but I can’t help think I’ll never find another woman like her.

It was not your typical relationship that’s for sure. She was a life coach and medium which came with it’s share of challenges. She asked me to give up alcohol because if I drank it affected her through synesthieia. I was a social drinker and once I got past the adjustment to socializing without it, I quite enjoyed the sober life but I did miss the odd pint after cycling with pals.

She also asked me to not fantasize about anyone else … her exact words were “I need it to be just me in your head”. I agreed but found with time it became increasingly difficult. She was the love of my life but I also think fantasizing is healthy and normal. (Therapists have confirmed).

Last year I met a girl through work and started to feel attracted to her and felt really guilty. I started wondering if maybe the restrictions I had placed on me were not healthy and saw that someone else could possess similar qualities without the “drawbacks”. I brought up my concerns about feeling like I was missing out on some social situations and that I wanted to take a break to see if I wanted to have alcohol in my life. No other people. Just a few weeks to see what life was like. She wasn’t open to it. I built up some resentment and decided to end it.

I regretted my decision pretty quickly but it was too late. She got really ruthless really fast. Took both dogs and pulled me off the records. No communication except through lawyers, pushed to sell the house asap. Accused me of emotional abuse.

I know I wasn’t perfect. I could be avoidant and get deep into my hobbies and work.

I guess just looking for some stories of it getting better.

I had a few months where I drank daily to deal with my feelings but pulled myself out of that knowing that’s not the life I want to live.

I’ve been reconnecting with friends I lost touch with, cycling a lot and working on my career. Many of my friends have admitted they’re glad I left and didn’t think it was healthy.

Did a lot of therapy but on a break now. Want to save for a home.

Been on a few dates with some nice women lately but there hasn’t been any spark really so I haven’t pursued anything.

Love to hear some success stories or encouragement.