So I pick up my son (4y) today after work from his mom's house. It had been three weeks since I last seen him. It got messy with the virus, being quarantined, delayed tests, delayed results, and my hyperchondriac exuw.

 

When I showed up, he initially didn't want to come with me. Sometimes he gets a little moody when I pick him up. He is a mama's boy and he needed a nap badly, so that didn't help. As the ex straps him into the car seat I asked my boy, "how you doing big guy?".... which he responds "good, hey larry what are we going to do?"....

 

Larry isn't my name. That's the AP's name.

 

So some of you would probably have had your heart sink, or be flooded with terrible emotions, or at least be really upset that he got it mixed up....

 

His mom immediately corrected him: "that's not larry silly, that's daddy"..... him:"oh yeah, hey daddy, larry bought me a new car, it's a tractor car( john Deere power wheel), with a radio, and a steering wheel, and it's green".....

 

I smiled and replied: "As he should baby boy. He should buy you all the toys you want".....his mom smiles and she thanks me. Then she starts with the " please yadidyadiyada and make sure he doobydoobydoodoo" .... I zone her out most of the time.

 

Why am I sharing this? Because this could be your reality in the future.....(GASP!)....no seriously, let us be real here. This could happen to anyone. Anyone can mix up your name. Anyone can get confused. Anyone can make the wrong choice. We live in that world. So here is my immediate mindshift internal reaction to the mix up:

 

"I will not be a victim! I see my boy as he is, a child. I see them for who they are, broken confused losers. I move forward and thank God that my son has people caring for him all around him.... yes the AP buys my son's love, oh freaking well, he cant replace me in my son's heart. He can't even replace me in the ex's heart!"

 

One day my boy will be a man. One day he will get to learn what I had to do, to be in his life. One day my story will inspire him or someone he knows. One day all that is coming my way as long as I keep moving forward.

 

My boy has my name, my blood, my legacy running through him. The AP is just helping my legacy live on...(you see the shift?)...

 

You can't lose, if you won't accept defeat.