What are/were your flaws and how will/did you improve them?

sapphiredawn · 2023-09-27T15:42:38+00:00

I have troubles with boundaries, saying no, and setting limits. I used to be completely disembodied - overweight and unhealthy and I’ve dropped from 40% body fat to 26% body fat. I think perhaps worst of all, I grew up like a sponge, always mirroring and soaking up the ways/mannerisms of the people around me. I was a tomboy and did not have any idea at all how men actually worked and I was overly masculine, unconscious that I was mirroring the men around me but that that would never mean attracting a suitable partner. I was in codependent relationships for most of my life and was never single.

I’ve found myself and assembled so much out of the rubble. Reading always, growth mindset, taking classes on how to understand men. Cooking, homesteading, understanding crafts and craftsmanship. Learning how to be soft in a hard world. Practicing gratitude and vulnerability. Quit social media and learning how to be the best version of myself.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-09-27T17:19:15+00:00

Not setting boundaries. Now I do, up front, and cut out people who do not respect them. I'm lonelier but the people around me I trust and respect, so... worth it.

StructureNo3388 · 2023-09-27T15:30:01+00:00

Same here with both of those! To add to that for me, I can be a flakey friend and I can allow my fluctuations of emotion to overshadow my interactions with loved ones.

I am trying out scheduling catch up dates with friends well in advance so I don't forget, and I am trying to remain mindful about how much negativity I am holding onto, and let it go rather than inadvertantly dump it on the next person in my day. I also have a therapist. I bookmark many of these situations to bring to her instead of my SO or friends.

lifelonglistener · 2023-09-27T18:57:05+00:00

Being bossy, critical, judgmental. Combating these has been a journey. It starts with recognizing and accepting that it's a problem. Learning to STFU has been super helpful, as has consciously seeking out the good stuff to express gratitude for.

flower_power_g1rl · 2023-09-27T19:53:04+00:00

I've been told I'm cold and reeaaalllyyyy really stoic. I improved this by spending more time away from people who I find put me in that cold and stoic mood. But if I start to feel 'it' coming up again, I breathe in, and imagine that I'm about to treat others how I'd want to be treated. Then, naturally it occurs.

The first step is to notice which feelings are coming up inside of you. The second step is slowing down, the third is imagining possible outcomes of a change.

CranberrySoftServe · 2023-09-27T16:24:41+00:00

Social media use, I’ve mostly cut down on it but alas here I am for the last little bit.

I complain a lot and need to learn to STFU better. I’ve improved a lot but there is still room to improve. I have a small post it near my computer to remind me and it helps.

Working too hard and thinking I’m not doing enough (while in reality the people around me tell me i’m doing more than enough and to take it easier on myself). This is an issue from my childhood and how I was raised and one I find myself needing to be constantly vigilant about.

I’m a big homebody and need to make more friends but I find it hard to get along with most women my age nowadays, and I don’t want male friends.

Lastly… my pancakes suck and I am working on improving my technique 😂

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2023-09-27T18:46:54+00:00

Moving too fast, being desperate, trying to force things, ignoring red flags, not being able to say no, not knowing what I want, focusing only on making things work in order to avoid conflict. Continuing to support ex after breakup lol.

rosesonthefloor · 2023-09-27T20:38:48+00:00

I grew up a tomboy, and felt uncomfortable with anything feminine. I was also terribly shy. So I made a conscious effort to change my wardrobe and put myself out there when I went to uni. And it honestly made a world of difference!

In general I have worked to become more grateful and positive, to come at things with a solution-focused mindset, and to approach those around me with respect and kindness. I also did (and do) a LOT of introspection and self-reflection, which I can’t recommend enough.

Recently one of the big things that was bugging me is I didn’t feel good in my body anymore. So I started going to the gym. I used to HATE the gym - but recently a friend gave me a free trial for a workout app and honestly it’s been a game changer for me lol. It’s still early, but I’m very much planning to stick with it, and I actually feel more like myself than I have in a while. And I feel so much better in my skin.

Ultimately I feel it all comes down to making a choice and sticking with it. We can change (almost) anything we want to change. We just have to be willing to do the work.

aussiedollface2 · 2023-09-28T04:40:10+00:00

My flaws:

Not knowing when to STFU. I’ve worked really hard on this and from observing my Mum who is really good at it, and taking three deep breaths before speaking when triggered, and choosing my battles, I have become waaaaaay better at this. It’s taken years though.

“Going with the flow” too much in friendships and not making conscious decisions about who to surround myself with. I’m trying to become more aware of dynamics and whether I’m happy with them and how my friendships make me feel.

AutoModerator · 2023-09-27T14:09:28+00:00

Title: What are/were your flaws and how will/did you improve them?

Full text: My flaws: Allowing abusive people into my life. Not TOXIC. Abusive. I hate the word toxic. It means abusive. Period. Using my phone too much. I used to read non stop, now I have started reading again. I also have started studying from the beginning of the school year.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Suitable_Ad5971 · 2023-09-28T01:51:34+00:00

Shopping habit Bitchy temperament Could spend less time on my phone as well.

Title	What are/were your flaws and how will/did you improve them?
Author	Taco-Beans
Upvotes	14
Comments	13
Date	September 27, 2023 2:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16tln23/what_arewere_your_flaws_and_how_willdid_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-arewere-your-flaws-and-how-willdid-you.1233174 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233174

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