My ex husband is trying to take our child

Roxitten · 2023-10-10T10:01:15+00:00

He wants to try to take full custody of our daughter, based on made-up legal BS.

What's he claiming?

gabyvfontaine · 2023-10-10T12:08:56+00:00

Here are some possible motives: Money: he would only lose out on having to pay for food/clothes for your daughter. He would save on child support and he’s not the one who’s a stay at home parent, Gosh being a 7 year old girl she could even help with their young kid! Could it be possible he didn’t ask his new partner to care for your child until after she was quite committed (has his kid) because it was more likely she’d say yes at this point and wouldn’t be scared away from the relationship/marriage? Like, he was being strategic? 2. Pride. Now that he has another kid, he’s around parents now and then. The subject could come up and he could be feeling ashamed to always explain he has a kid he doesn’t live with, and be forced to think about what he did, even if he doesn’t necessarily tell the whole story to anyone. Changing things up he could be more prideful because without knowing details people would assume he’s a fantastic parent to both kids since he got custody

mishkaforest235 · 2023-10-10T10:10:48+00:00

The court will do what’s best for your daughter, not you or your husband. As you’ve been her primary caregiver and you were the one who was abandoned, you have the advantage here. Your ex husband’s minimal contributions up until now works in your favour too. Be confident in what you’ve already achieved for your daughter - your husband has demonstrated being impulsive/selfish, willing to break up a marriage over an affair, abandon his daughter and not provide generous support for you (his daughter’s mother).

Edit: by the way, if he were truly a traditional man, he’d go above and beyond to protect and provide for you and your daughter, even if you are divorced, because you are the mother of HIS daughter: if you are happy and healthy, you’ll be best able to care for your daughter and she’ll be happy and healthy.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-10-10T13:06:31+00:00

why would my ex be suing for full custody of our daughter?

It's hard to say without more info on why he cheated on you. I can speculate about him being a control freak or sociopath, but there's not a lot to go on. Maybe he just decided he's a better place/person to raise your child. Maybe he's lashing out at his ex. Maybe it's Maybeline. Can't tell.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-10-10T15:40:55+00:00

Might not be about you. Could be that he thinks your soon-to-be husband is a threat to your daughter as she gets older and he moves in.

Complete conjecture. But I don't think there's much more we can offer.

Direct-Ad-5394 · 2023-10-10T11:51:04+00:00

I think your ex is jelous of you moving on and doesn't accept willingly or no that you have a new man and future husband in your life. Men are like that, not bc he wants you back but bc he doesn't want other man around you. My comment might not be liked by others but I saw this happened a lot in my surroundings. Fight for your daughter and get the best lawyer that you can pay. Good luck 🙏🙏

patchouliflowers · 2023-10-10T20:08:15+00:00

Who knows his reasons, but I will say, I used to be a court appointed advocate for children, going to court and making recommendations for children’s custody when there had been allegations of abuse and neglect. The judge, like another poster said, is only interested in what is best for the child. Get an attorney if you are extremely worried, but I would say that if there is no true reason for him to be granted custody, it will not happen.

caecilia97 · 2023-10-11T21:18:27+00:00

Like my ex husband, yours no longer wants to pay child support.

organicwomen · 2023-10-11T04:42:58+00:00

No other man will love the child as much as the real father will, to be honest the best discipline comes from a father, this is coming from someone who was raised with my parents separated, a fathers role is very important to the development of a child.

AutoModerator · 2023-10-10T09:12:37+00:00

Title: My ex husband is trying to take our child

Full text: Hi there. I am scared, searching for answers and need the perspective of this community. Long story short, my ex husband and I got married in 2014. He encouraged me to go to grad school while we were still dating, and I supported both of us with my grad assistant salary. I finished my PhD in Agricultural Science a year after our child was born. When our child was 16 months old, he announced he had been cheating on me with his junior colleague for a year and a half and was leaving me. We never fought/argued, and I considered him my soulmate, so it was a serious shock. He never gave me an opportunity to address whatever issues he may have had. He never offered explanation as to what went wrong in our marriage. He is now married to his former mistress. I have since moved on with my life, with no shortage of better men who want to become my second husband. For the past five years, he has been paying his tiny amount in child support and has seen our daughter two days a week. I have always been civil to him, which was far better than he deserved. He and his former-mistress-now-wife have a 2yo together and she is a tradwife, and he is a RPM. I frankly don’t concern myself with what they do, as much as possible.

However, he recently brought a custody case against me. He wants to try to take full custody of our daughter, based on made-up legal BS. She is almost 7yo now and definitely prefers the safety and stability of my home. I am a single working mom, her bedrock and provider for the past five years. I take great pride in being a great mom. We surround ourselves with community and our amazing neighbors and friends with kids, live close to my family, see grandparents and cousins often. I volunteer at her school and Girl Scouts, am involved in PTA, we do all the enriching experiences (camping, museums, beach trips, festivals, etc). She is a happy, smart, funny, athletic, straight-A student. She is thriving.

Also, I will likely marry my BF fairly soon, who my daughter loves and who is great with her. He will likely move into the house I own. He earns a decent income as a badass auto mechanic for classic cars, although I earn more, and we are happy with that. As a single mom, dating has been tough, but I have been careful to create a man-shaped hole in my life (I literally have a room in my house devoted to “future man cave” lol) and I think I found an amazing guy to fill it.

So in this situation, with traditional family values in mind, why would my ex be suing for full custody of our daughter? What’s his motivation? Does he see me as a bad mom, just because I am a single mom? (He made me a single mom. I had no choice). Does he think our daughter would be better off being raised by his young tradwife, learning more gendered traditional things? Does he want to have control of our daughter, and resents that he doesn’t? Why would he want to take our daughter from me, her mother, who despite challenges, built a stable loving home? She would never recover from the trauma of being ripped away from her mom. How is that good family values?

Please help me understand why. I came to this community to hear your all’s perspectives on this situation.

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Title	My ex husband is trying to take our child
Author	Dance-Bird
Upvotes	20
Comments	28
Date	October 10, 2023 9:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/174goky/my_ex_husband_is_trying_to_take_our_child/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-ex-husband-is-trying-to-take-our-child.1234629 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234629

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