I have noticed that other divorced men are just so calm.

My boss who consoled me after my divorce is the most patient person I have ever met. He is divorced as well. My divorced ex-neighbor is calm as well. When shit hit the fan with him moving to another state he remained cool. In fact, all four of the people I look up to are divorced and remarried. And they are happy for the most part.

It makes me take a look at my failures in my marriage and I realize that I got too emotional and wrapped up in all of the BS in the marriage. Navigating her side of the family was very tough and I got caught up. I lost frame in the marriage and when that happened I eventually lost respect, attraction, and eventually her.

In my second relationship after my divorce I got into a disagreement with the woman and practiced stoicism during it and she raved about how attractive it was.

I have seen memes online saying "You don't know how much pain a man has to go through in order for him to be this calm/gentle" and I am starting to think that there is truth to that.