People are very careful to explain how it’s necessary to balance alpha and beta characteristics while maintaining a LTR. This totally makes sense, especially if you’re serious about passing shit tests and comfort tests. However, there’s another way to look at being an “alpha” male. From what I know from my studies in other walks of life, the concept of the alpha male comes from Franz Van der Waal when he studied chimpanzee troops. He distinguishes the alpha male chimp as the “empathizer in chief”.

If you think of it this way, there’s nothing “beta” about providing comfort to your woman when she’s looking for comfort. Providing comfort comes from your ability to be empathic, which is an inherently strong trait. A true alpha male isn’t necessarily the biggest, baddest, scariest dude ever. He’s simply the one who is in tune with what the family needs, and strong enough to provide what is necessary in any given circumstance. This can definitely manifest as gentleness, playfulness, and concern.

It’s basically a semantic distinction, but I think it’s hard for us to behave in certain ways out of fear of being a beta. I find it helpful to remember what I learned about the alpha male concept from the chimp guy.