Tell Me About A Man Who Changed Your Life

denvercaniac · 2023-12-17T10:48:00+00:00

My late grandfather, a WW2 vet.

He also battled chronic pain much of his life (arthritis) and got abandoned by his wife to tend his farm and ranch alone.

I have only the slightest memory of him, but everything I do I beg for him to be proud of me. I've created friend groups of guys solely because allegedly it was the kind of thing he'd do and focusing solely on raising fellow guys up is one of the few things that battles my depression effectively.

I assume he learned the same lesson I did: only men care about other men, so be it.

Throning · 2023-12-17T09:29:55+00:00

Fairly minor, but probably my 6th grade home room teacher - he was the social studies/history teacher at my gradeschool for 5th-8th grade.

He was the kind of guy who, after learning my parents were divorcing, gave me extra time to get big projects done. And became a role model for what a good man, a good husband, and doting father, could be.

Which is more than what the other female teachers were doing; who didn't give a shit whatever I was going through, they were going to teach that algebra and english lit and not give a fuck of what a troubled student was going through.

It sounds simple, and it is, but that 6th grade home room teacher was kind, strong, and aware; and gave a shit about at least one of his students orders of magnitude more than any of the women at that school.

Imaginary_Willow_186 · 2023-12-17T11:37:44+00:00

My Brother-in-law. When him and my sister got married, I remember feeling kinda intimidated. This dude had shit going on, his group of friends and his brothers were all so cool and manly. Made up of Pro- Hockey players, successful Doctors and just a bunch of good looking dudes. I was still an awkward teenager then and didn't see past my own perception. But, yah, so. FFWRD a few years and I had been struggling, addiction and an abusive relationship, I moved back to the city I grew up in, with the help of my sister. I stayed with them for a bit and I got to know him a bit better.

After I moved in with some friends, I had been going through a deep depression, still recovering from the mental abuse and loss of self. I wasn't answering calls and my sister was worried. She had a baby at the time, so obviously she couldn't leave and check in on me so, she sent her husband. I was in a basement and this was the middle of winter. I hear a knock on the tiny window that was hidden under an overhang. I went upstairs and opened the door. The stood my brother in law. Initially, I was embarrassed and felt shame. He came in and gave me a heart to heart that was truly meaningful and honest. He also brought me some food. But, it was that he had crawled in the snow to knock, brought me a good meal, and he really cared. I felt it. I felt truly a part of his loved ones. Some dude, who I thought of as a stranger that probably thought I was a loser, cared about me and needed me to be a part of his family's life. I don't know why but it moved me so much and I never looked at my place in my families life. I have 3 brother in laws and no others. Because of that night, I was able to see things differently and accept the love that I had in my life. I was able to see their kindness for what it was.

tomowudi · 2023-12-17T12:45:16+00:00

My father is my hero.

He taught me that a gentleman is just someone who tries to make everyone around him as comfortable as possible.

He taught me that I should always be sure that I am making decisions for myself and not in reaction to someone else, because only I will have to live with the consequences.

He taught me that life is too serious to take seriously.

He taught me that strong men cry when they need to.

He taught me that the most important thing you can do with someone you love is to tell them how you feel and appreciate the time you have with them.

megamuffin30 · 2023-12-17T09:53:47+00:00

Sounds really stupid but definitely my ex from 10 years ago. He was unconditionally kind, selfless, patient and calm. I was too young to appreciate it at the time and I wasn't very good to him. He is married now and is happy, I have been blocked ever since he met this woman. That's fair enough. I take comfort in the fact he got what he deserved.

If it wasn't for him, I would have lost hope with men. I have had far too many unfortunate experiences with men, but because of him, I know good men exist. Every time I have a hard time with dating or dealing with men in general, I think of him. He had every right to be bitter, vengeful, angry and spiteful to me. He didn't, he was always kind and mature all the way to the end. He wasn't a pushover at all, he was just the kind of person that didn't have an aggressive, nasty bone in his body.

I would love to have the opportunity to apologise and tell him what a good man he is, that he has had such an impact on my life. He has no idea.

sanitaryinspector · 2023-12-17T09:19:52+00:00

My 2 closest friends. I've befriended the first in middle school, the second in high school, I've invited them on a karting session for my birthday, and they've become close friends since.

Every time I see them they change my week for the better, as I'm reminded that I'm not a total fault of a person. They're able to care for me and show it in a positive way, unlike my family.

ExoticComfortable46 · 2023-12-17T15:48:49+00:00

Just lost my grandpa, He was the best and I’m gonna miss frosty white. Good ole man from Texas who took care of his and many more. Navy vet and truly gave me somewhere and a family when I lost it all. I will never forget what he’s done for me. Forever with me. Merry Christmas yall, wishing yall a happy new year as well.

CatacombsRave · 2023-12-17T13:57:40+00:00

Besides my dad, I would say my tenth grade math teacher. He was always available for extra help and for questions on things and was super likable. He also knew that I was suffering from social anxiety, so he offered to let me eat my lunch in his office whenever I wanted to, which I took him up on many times. We talked about everything from math to history to the Brewers/Bucks/Packers. I am where I am today because of him.

mrkpxx · 2023-12-17T17:16:41+00:00

The Red Pill changed my life.

Key-Tie2542 · 2023-12-17T20:20:27+00:00

I had a 3rd and 4th grade female teacher who was an amazing teacher, wise especially with how she handled rambunctious boys like me. Since before I had her, she was dating a man who she then married at the end of my 3rd grade year. After the marriage, her husband became increasingly involved in the curriculum and was present as an assistant or even the leader of the class a fairly high percentage of the time. And since one of my good friends lived next door to them, I saw and interacted with them for years after I finished 4th grade.

This man was very physically manly (strong jaw, beautiful locks of golden hair, and muscular physique), and would play sports with us at recess. His athletic ability was awesome, and increasingly impressive to me as an adult as I think back about what he could do in his mid and late 30s, like effortlessly hurdling a 4' metal fence en route to catching a frisbee thrown way out of bounds. But he was also the most patient and kind gentleman I have ever known in my life. Clearly an INFJ or INFP, for those who know. He cared about nature and sustainability before it was cool; he organized field trips to study ecology and the Native American tribes in our area; he instructed us with questions more so than answers, and always gave us completely undivided attention as individuals when he was with us. He was soft spoken, and always pushing us to understand how others felt when we said things a little obnoxious or got a little too competitive. He helped us think bigger about life and our purpose in the world. He was the perfect role model for me whose parents divorced when I was young and whose father was not very present in my life. He had a gentle ferocity I've never experienced before or after, morally resolute but always considerate of others' views and always supportive of individual personal choice.

I know he made a powerful difference in the lives of many of us especially boys. He still comes up in conversations among us (most of my childhood friends are still close) when talk about pretty much anything, only ever in good ways, and his impact on the world through the lives he has touched is probably massive.

Years later, I learned that he suffered from depression and sort of checked out of life. He was never violent and never unfaithful to his wife as I understand it, but they got divorced because he became a sort of deadbeat. It's all very sad to me.

WellActuallyUmm · 2023-12-18T06:18:57+00:00

My second Boss. Ended up being like a father figure, in part because my own father was not really around much.

I was somewhat listless in my early 20s. He was, at the time, in his early 30s in a startup. I had raw talent, work ethic, but was still young and lacked drive. He was a grounding force of logic, stoicism, and encouragement. Also learned real business mechanics, negotiation, and how to manage money.

In some ways letting him down was the worst feeling.

As a result I excelled professionally and got in good physical shape. At times of course I didn’t see what he was doing, or maybe even resented some of his words. Looking back, it was like a dad training you how to ride a bike, holding it until you realized he let go 100 feet back and was smiling 🙂

iSubParMan · 2023-12-17T15:30:32+00:00

Still waiting

Low_Rich_5436 · 2023-12-18T10:07:55+00:00

My brother.

I grew up in a workaholic home. I did not see much of my parents. My father was more like a housemate competing for my mom's attention. My mother valued independence above all else and, in he own word, did everything she could so that I wouldn't need her (emotionnaly). I was emotionally very deprived. I was weird and never had friends, and my grandparents were very helpful but did not show affection either.

My 11 years older brother is the person who showed me how to love and be loved. He is always kind and patient. Playful and interesting. I'm nearing 40 now yet seeing him always brings a smile to my face and makes me feel safe.

I'm not sure I would have made it out of teenage alive had I not been shown true love by my brother when I was a kid.

Thanks Sam.

hwjk1997 · 2023-12-18T17:57:44+00:00

Well when I was 3ish some random ups worker grabbed me as I was tripping and was about to fall on concrete steps so without him I probably would have gotten severe injuries.

Title	Tell Me About A Man Who Changed Your Life
Author	No_Discipline_7867
Upvotes	47
Comments	21
Date	December 17, 2023 8:56 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/18kd7lr/tell_me_about_a_man_who_changed_your_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/tell-me-about-a-man-who-changed-your-life.1240975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240975

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