How to actually start with TRP? How to deal with the need of being loved / understood?

jb_trp · 2018-02-21T20:20:40+00:00

Man, you sound a lot like me. I've come to understand that I have a deep need for connection, intimacy, to be understood, and appreciated. But let me tell you this: If you look to a woman to ultimately fulfill those needs, you're going to feel hurt and alone.

Sure, some women some of the time will touch a nerve that meet that need. Maybe they're cute and excited about you at first. Or whatever. But what happens when they stop? It's painful and sad and will hurt you to your core.

I just broke up with my ex-LTR two months ago, and I've spent a lot of time processing that pain. I've come to realize that she never understood me (never wanted to), never loved me, and was just trying to get her own needs for newness and excitement fulfilled. And when I was new and exciting and taking her on adventures and the sex was new... Oh boy! I thought, "This is it. I feel so good." But was it ever really that good? Not exactly. Sometimes there were good times. But those things fade.

Your answer is to not look to a chick to fulfill that need. Imagine if every chick on the planet disappeared tomorrow. What would you do? Kill yourself? No. You'd fulfill that need with male friends, or find interesting hobbies, or focus on your goals. You'd be free. And that's the place you need to get to, the place where you will gather the most power and have the most success with women.

Guys like you and I, it's easy for us to attach a sense of our self-worth and happiness to women's approval because it touches on our need for intimacy. This is beta AF and will always leave us hurt and alone. We have to find a better way.

Work on yourself. Set goals. Don't expect anyone else to meet your needs for you. And then your brokenness will be worth it, because you'll be doing awesome things. No one is coming to rescue you or fix your life. You have to figure out this path yourself.

chazthundergut · 2018-02-21T20:27:04+00:00

"I can't really see the point of dedicating all of my energy to self improvement"

Then just stay a loser. You were given the gift of being born in the greatest region of the world at the greatest time in history. A man just created his own car, and launched it into space for God's sake.

But life is just too hard for you. Waaa. Good. Stay in your bedroom, surrounded by empty bottles and cum-crusted tissues. Sit alone and jerk off to videos of other men having sex. Stay in your bubble of movies and videogames. And come online and cry about your need to be loved and accepted.

"I have a deep need of being loved"

How can you expect a woman to love you if you are unable to love yourself? If you don't think you are worthy of love from yourself, what makes you think you deserve to be loved by anyone else? Least of all a beautiful woman? You don't deserve it.

Yea, the Red Pill is bitter. It's true. No woman is going to come down and save you. No sexy young lady is going to come worship you and fuck your brains out and love you unconditionally just for being little old you.

A man's value is forged in the fires of adversity. Snap out of it. Stop being a little bitch. Accept the burden of manhood, hoist it on your shoulders, and carry it up the fucking hill.

Take charge of your life. Love yourself. Decide that you are worth it. Stop looking for love and validation from chicks. Focus on transforming yourself into a man you are proud of. Focus on creating a life you are happy to live.

Or don't, and just be another spineless bitch a woman marries after she's thirty and tired of getting pumped and dumped by real men.

sinchurch · 2018-02-21T20:08:59+00:00

Start reading this series: Understanding Woman

Sounds like your main hurdle is understanding love and the dynamics of women. You say that if you accept TRP, you’ll never be loved...As you study, you’ll realize you’re never going to be “loved” regardless. The version of love we’ve all been taught to seek doesn’t exist. Women cannot love you the way you love them.

Also - Start lifting. It’s not only wise, but will help clear your mind and strengthen your attitude.

mrpthrowa · 2018-02-21T21:09:02+00:00

IT's most likely because you had an overbearing mother and/or not a strong alpha father figure.

IF you think about your life you probably were always validated by women your mom, nursary, school, etc...

youcantdenythat · 2018-02-21T19:58:08+00:00

turn gay

refusewool · 2018-02-21T20:03:02+00:00

Lifting and hobbies yield tangible results. It takes discipline, not motivation.

You need to keep reading. Start with No More Mr Nice Guy.

missingkey2 · 2018-02-21T21:42:45+00:00

I have been suffering with something similar. Here is how I have rationalized it. I think spinning multiple plates is an anti-fragile way of life. You can't really control other people in the long run. She may find a Chad, may just want drama or any other variant. I unofficially hang out with my plates outside (kinda getting the whole GF experience). Depending on how you manage to incite their emotions they will very much "love" you for a short period of time. I have had instances like when I dropped a plate at Subway she misses the train, comes running all the way just for a good night kiss. Obviously you need to find balance and there is only so much attention you can spare given you need to focus on your mission and goals. You need to really swallow that no girl would be in love with you forever and enjoy what it is there and while it lasts. My 2 cents.

life_is_dumb · 2018-02-21T22:17:07+00:00

I feel you. Fact is we've been fed a lie, that women can and do actually provide what you're talking about. I believe what really happens is men conflate the superficial ways women show affection for something genuine and deep. It's not, no matter how much we want to convince ourselves otherwise.

Part - a fucking big part - of taking the Red Pill is acknowledging that what we always believed we sought from women is never actually attainable and we're chasing a mirage.

What this comes down to is, whether or not you "accept" TRP doesn't really matter. It just is and you can either learn to deal with it properly or you can continue to live in a fantasy world and continually be disappointed when it ultimately crumbles.

Title	How to actually start with TRP? How to deal with the need of being loved / understood?
Author	baarinh
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	February 21, 2018 7:51 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7z8gvh/how_to_actually_start_with_trp_how_to_deal_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-actually-start-with-trp-how-to-deal-with.124439 https://theredarchive.com/post/124439

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