Going through a divorce is emotionally draining and setting boundaries with an ex can feel impossible, especially if the relationship ended bitterly. However, setting healthy boundaries is essential if you want to move forward in a productive way.

I've realized that clear communication is key when navigating post-divorce boundaries with my ex. We have kids together so we have to co-parent, which means some contact is unavoidable. That said, I had to be firm in expressing certain ground rules in order to protect my peace of mind.

For example, our communication then had set hours - I asked that we keep talking only on weekdays during working hours except for emergencies with the kids. I also asked that we keep talk focused just on co-parenting logistics and updates on our children. I made clear I didn't want to discuss personal matters or get drawn into arguments. Another way I facilitated that is that we mainly communicated through email or text. I know that may not work for some, but it kept my anger in check not actually talking to her. Do the method that works for you. And we did 50/50 parenting - with a week on and a week off, changing Sunday afternoon.

It wasn't easy speaking up to set those boundaries, knowing it may cause tension. My ex pushed back at first about "censoring" them. But I stood firm knowing clear boundaries were healthiest for both of us and for co-parenting cooperation. I had to repeat often that this isn't about spite or punishment - it's about healing and moving forward in a constructive way.

Having these boundaries in place has made a huge difference in reducing day-to-day stress post-divorce. Our conversations stay focused on the kids' needs instead of our own grievances. I highly recommend other dads going through divorce to evaluate what boundaries will help you move forward. Express them respectfully but firmly for your own well-being.

Let us know if you have any advice or insights on setting healthy post-divorce boundaries without spite! The journey wasn’t easy but when men have a support network it makes a difference.