Am I self sabotaging with girls I find really attractive?

RProgrammerMan · 2022-02-10T06:07:41+00:00

I think it’s best to shut off the part of your brain concerned with looks and focus on making an emotional connection. Honestly once a girl is say 6 or above I don’t think it matters that much. Attractiveness is only one dimension there are lots of others that are important. For example I rejected a women that physically is probably a 9/10 but I couldn’t imagine being in a long-term relationship with her. So just talk to all the girls you find attractive and see which ones are actually the best match for you. I think if you develop a meaningful emotional connection it doesn’t matter if she’s a couple points higher than you on the attractiveness scale. Once you talk to enough attractive women it doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore.

Yunngjedi · 2022-02-10T04:23:22+00:00

I think the issue with u feeling judgmental towards women is tied in with the fact that, when u were young, you you used to find average women attractive. I believe this may have just been a coping mechanism you did to avoid being nervous when approaching more attractive women. & during that time, you spent years telling yourself why attractive women aren’t your thing or why average women are better. So now you’ve sort of programmed your mind to be judgmental to really attractive women. Like picking out clothing that may be too revealing, or wearing too much make up. But now that your standards have risen, you’re sort of not liking the fact that you want these women now. I’d say YES you are definitely self sabotaging. But the best way out of that is to acknowledge it within yourself. So you just by making this post, it’s safe to assume you are down the right path to correcting the physiological programming you’ve done to yourself for the past couple years. Side note: approaching attractive women is completely normal. You just have to try it out a few times then it will get easier after u learn from ur mistakes or things you could have said better

2022-02-10T12:09:55+00:00

I'm gonna say this once. Stop watching porn.

jpmtattoos · 2022-02-10T02:44:29+00:00

Hey man Im the same exact age with the same exact problem. More recently I’ve been trying to change my mentality about not feeling “worthy enough” for women I find legitimately attractive.

I tell myself that even though they may look beautiful in the club/bar/whatever, there’s also just as many times when they’re not all done up (which is fine) and you wouldn’t even notice her. Also, 99% of what you see on Instagram, tiktok, even dating apps is edited and or filtered. It’s a huge mind fuck so don’t let social media get you feeling like certain women are impossibly hot because it’s just not the case.

As for talking to women that are intimidatingly hot honestly it’s best to just pretend you’re not attracted to her at first, talk to her like any other stranger that you wanna get to know better. At least do that for the beginnings of a conversation and from there see if yalls personality is clicking.

It’s a hard thing to do but I hope this helps. I was the same way for a long time and still kind of am, where I just go for average looking girls because it feels like there’s more of a comfortable connection and not as much “competition”, but I also know that that’s all in my head.

ikeepon · 2022-02-10T02:39:28+00:00

Don’t put the hotties on a pedestal. Surely there is or you will find something average about them. So they’re just like the average broads. Treat them as such.

2022-02-10T06:27:32+00:00

Well, if you want to taste really hot girl, just ignore her appearance and do your usual stuff. Still you need to present higher value than her.

2022-02-10T17:00:31+00:00

To me I don’t have any scale of 1-10 in my head. It’s just what I find attractive….maybe it’s close in practice, but I just don’t think about it in those terms. All about if I FEEL attracted to a girl.

Uzuc_mp3 · 2022-02-10T11:48:38+00:00

Yo i am 22 too, for me is the complete oposite. Girls too hot usually are more toxic and have worst personality since “they only need to hava a good body” In my case in a 1-10 scale i only give 2 points to physical appareance, 7 points to personality and 1 point to things i have to drop or sacrifice in exchange to be with that person, like, she cant go to high altitude, she have some discappability or something Also your “problem” if you thing it is a problem, can be triggered from watching porn, if you use it too much your brain get uses to super hot girls, how many times you just scroll and scroll in porn sites even if every video is a fcking gorgeus girl?

Important-Quote9544 · 2022-02-10T06:23:44+00:00

How are you doing on Online Dating? Lots of matches? It's a good way to gauge your attractiveness

epimpstyle · 2022-02-10T21:25:13+00:00

If you know that you put some effort to look good like: you are wearing nice clothes (not mandatory expensive! just clothes that fit you well), also you know that you have a good haircut, you smell good, you have clean and good teeth... and you are taller than her.... then I don't see any reason that holds you back for approaching a hot girl.

Godsidious2 · 2022-02-10T22:30:55+00:00

you sound like you just trying to get ur nut man get some help bro therapy.

Mrairjake · 2022-02-11T04:11:54+00:00

A lot of what you consider "super hot" or a "10", is just based on what your friends and the media has conditioned us to.

I'm older now, but when I was your age, I had the same outlook and concerns.

Now, if I'm attracted to someone, I try to spend some time with her and see if we have a connection. Honestly, nothing turns me on more than that. We laugh, are comfortable, have fun...that's as sexy as it gets.

Title	Am I self sabotaging with girls I find really attractive?
Author	No_Raspberry3670
Upvotes	28
Comments	19
Date	February 10, 2022 2:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sov7g1/am_i_self_sabotaging_with_girls_i_find_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-self-sabotaging-with-girls-i-find-really.1267118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267118

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