When I first got started in game many years ago, one of the first important things I learned about texting was to "only text for logistics." It was a shock to the system. I was having all these errant, platonic, and longwinded conversations with women, so worried about making sure women felt comfortable with me, creating a connection, and waiting for the perfect moment (whatever that means), that I lost the plot. I wasn't leading, I was too available, likely said plenty of unflattering things, and my lack of results back then spoke for themselves.

Hearing, for the first time, that texting should have direction and should be for planning dates, is a critical thing to learn. All of a sudden, I felt like I had control over interactions to some degree.

But then I started to hit some road bumps. Maybe I was dealing with women who were traveling for a few weeks. Maybe I was traveling for a few weeks. In these cases, if I didn't at least fire off a few playful texts or send some pictures, good luck. Or maybe we planned a date, but then we had to reschedule a few times. In these cases, if I didn't at least have some intermediate conversation, constantly hitting her up only to hang out would quickly be read as needy/pushy.

For all these many complications, simply telling a guy to only text for logistics is doing him a huge disservice. It's also selling him a lie. That if he just clings to this one principle, all of a sudden, all his problems and confusion will end. But there will always be complications and surprises. And it might be masking the real problem. He just needs to improve how he communicates with and responds to women.

Time and again on Reddit dating subs, I've seen the consequences of some of this advice, if taken to the extreme. A guy sets a date a week in advance. A whole seven days pass. Then, a few hours before the date he hits her with "hey are we still on?" and is confused by her flaking or complete silence. But really, it's simple. The girl is like WTF lol. It's an emotional connection that gets women out on dates, not setting a date and then acting like it's solid like it might be with your good homie. This sort of direct and straightforward communication is what guys love. But attraction is far more dynamic than that. Sure, SOME of your hookups might've involved immediately jumping each others' bones as soon as you walked through your apartment door. But most of them involved a foreplay and a dance. One step forward two steps back. Never mind the foreplay and dance that got you that far to begin with. This reality extends to texting.

The way forward. Like with anything else in game, balance is still the name of the game. And calibration. With some girls, I can set a first date, keep slightly in touch, and be pretty sure it's all good. In some instances, I might need more intermediate communication. And in some cases, I might need to text fairly often. There is no one-size fits all here. As a general rule, I still don't text a whole lot. But when I do, I try to make it count. I'm giving value, often through statements, rather than boring questions like "How's your day?" I'm continuing to mine our connection. And then I'm circling back to the ultimate goal of us going on (another) date. I also try to enjoy it. This stuff is much more fun once you feel more competent and no longer feel like you're walking on eggshells. Finally, it doesn't feel like a chore. Finally, you can let go.

Otherwise, what's the point?