'I find myself weirdly attracted to mysterious guys'

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-12T12:48:50+00:00

Ugh dude you are just not getting it. For example, being honest is not talking about your hemorrhoids and shitting a blood bath every morning or talking about your mental issues, and how you like curling up in a ball and not leaving the house for days. If a woman told you that she cuts herself and throws up after every meal that would certainly not be very attractive, especially in the beginning. It just shows that you have issues with self regulating and saying inappropriate things to the wrong people at the wrong time.

I think you are finding excuses for over sharing and it probably has to do with looking for validation and approval that you are okay as opposed some side effect of ADHD.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-10-12T16:22:56+00:00

I discovered that you can be vulnerable, but doing it too early is a mistake, it has to be gradual. If you lay out all your baggage and put all your cards out on the table upfront, it becomes overwhelming for them. You need to associate yourself with positive/fun emotions early on, so the heavy stuff should come after you’ve gotten to know each other better.

Doesn’t mean you have to hide or be ashamed of who you are, but do it gradually. Women are attracted to mystery, and want to find out about someone over a period of time, it’s part of the chase they enjoy. You’re not being deceptive or dishonest by simply sharing yourself at a slower pace.

Davinchixxx · 2021-10-12T14:48:35+00:00

Honestly bro, what works for me is distancing myself from them psychologically. Even though I don’t have ADHD or anything, but I’m not exactly handsome but I still pull girls it’s crazy to me. So what I do is get them talking about themselves 90% of the time but you have to be subtle about it. So you really need to ask some deep but casual questions. Although, there doing all of the talking you have to be in control of the conversation. Because that tells them right there that you can lead and women love that. I can’t say too much but overall that’s it. And eventually if you’re successful they’ll be interested in you and start to ask you questions. That’s where the magic happens. You have to sell yourself. You have to put yourself on a pedestal in a subtle way it comes off as confidence. Now she wants to know more about you but instead say it’s not about me and you ask her another question. You make sure you only let her see a fraction of your world so she wants more. It helps to understand women and have some decent game cuz if not you won’t really pull any girls. Although, it might seem like everything is going good and she might even like you if she fucks up you have to be willing to give up on her and move on. Like I literally try to tell them stories about girls I blocked before just so they know I’m not desperate even if you are. As a result they respect you and you seem like a rare commodity cuz every guy typically puts up with any BS if she’s pretty enough. It all comes that to your psyche and your situation but hope this helps bro

RProgrammerMan · 2021-10-12T15:11:34+00:00

I suspect “being mysterious” just means don’t commit the social sin of TMI. It means understanding boundaries, which is probably the most important social skill. Managing boundaries or intimacy is an essential part of all our relationships. I think people over think this. The longer you know someone the more you can reveal about yourself.

DaydreamingMister · 2021-10-12T16:34:40+00:00

A clue:

One of the reasons it's best to select the kind of partner for long term who you actually find interesting and enjoy listening to (versus selecting someone who you mostly are just interested in what's under her sundress)... one reason why that's best is that, you want to remain eternally curious about the person... By choosing someone you find engaging, it helps you be always wondering and asking questions that you'd like to hear them speak about.

And the reason I mention this here is because the combination of becoming great at asking FUN questions + being an amazing listener - that is your homebase... That's the role for you as the man, moreso than doing a bunch of yapping about yourself.

Your own yapping is better for talks with your therapist, your guy friends, your mom...

Does that mean you need to keep silent and never share with your lady? Of course not.

But being in the habit of talking her ear off or in the habit of laying on her the weight of all your problems is... well, let's just say it isn't in the direction of maintaining a bit of mystery.

(And your friend may be a little more in tune than some other ladies in this particular department... I'm not sure it's super common to see a woman both recognizing and also plainly stating that 'part of her loses a bit of interest when guys tell her everything about themselves'.)

faithinstrangers92 · 2021-10-12T15:57:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-13T05:48:14+00:00

'I find myself weirdly attracted to mysterious guys'

100% normal female behavior.

If you share too much, too quickly, she'll often times lose interest.

Title	'I find myself weirdly attracted to mysterious guys'
Author	faithinstrangers92
Upvotes	33
Comments	23
Date	October 12, 2021 12:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q6l1zn/i_find_myself_weirdly_attracted_to_mysterious_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-find-myself-weirdly-attracted-to-mysterious-guys.1274460 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274460

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