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[–]Papa_Musk 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
working out doesn't help me personally, best things I have found are taking action right away and having an idea of what you want to say when you approach,
remember too that you are just going to have a conversation with a human being with no expectations and if something good happens great and if they are a rude jerk you can still be polite and just walk away nothing lost
[–]elmsfordays 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, working out really has a secondary impact on emotions and doesn't seem to be my core problem, your mentality is good, just gotta not overthink it
[–]Bath 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have the same problem and it's driving me insane. I think it's because deep down we know there's only one way to overcome this fear, and that's head on.
[–]elmsfordays 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yea, perhaps so, we gotta man up
[–]Bath 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also bro I can so relate to "being a validation slave to mediocre women" so fucking accurate. Online dating gives young women too much power. I wouldn't ditch it completely but keep it on the back burner.
The problem is that we're programmed to see almost anything uncomfortable as a threat. Hence the AA.
I don't even know if it's the rejection I fear. The worst is pretty much, "ew, get the fuck away from me". I think I just fear the tension and awkward silences if the conversation doesn't flow smoothly.
[–]ExpensiveNinja 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Working out helps for sure, but it sounds like you got other stuff in your life you need to take care of also. Are you known as a person who dresses well? If not then look into it. How’s your posture? A lot of your issues is just your own confidence. Get out there, but continue to work on yourself. Realize that you’re going to fail a few times and don’t let it bring you back down. Your first priority is yourself.
[–]elmsfordays 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stuck on starting with cold approach, i dress fairly well but I can always look into better. I think my posture is fine from all the stretching and workouts over the years. Plain Jane approach fear is where I'm stuck and it's frustrating.
[–]Digzkay 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t overthink it , the more you think about what is wrong with you and what you need to improve on will just make things worse... you said you can’t get into it yet? .. so how about do a few approaches first for practice and build from their..... you do not need to be perfect to pick up Chicks at all... most these chicks have many personal and confident issues themselves so never feel like you need to be perfect to approach a girl... they are no better than you... just keep things short and sweet.... and don’t look into things tooo much, maybe you are over thinking from all the bs you have been reading/watching
[–]elmsfordays 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea overthinking may be part of the problem, i gotta get back to basics, thanks for the response
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[–]Papa_Musk 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]elmsfordays 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bath 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]elmsfordays 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Bath 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ExpensiveNinja 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]elmsfordays 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Digzkay 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]elmsfordays 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link