I can't remember if i got this somewhere else, like reading up on game or talking to someone who knows a lot about this. I may have come up with it myself just out of decently interesting conversations I've had. Or a little bit of both. Either way i've been testing it over a few months and I have to say I really like it.

It's a much more interesting version of the "what do you do? where are you from?" crappy interrogation style of conversation and works both in groups or one on one. You ask your target "so what's your thing?" The goal is to get them to open up about a secret passion or hobby or something, anything other than "I'm an accountant" or whatever. Here's how it works for me:

  • Ask it. In a group, you can ask it broadly by going one person to the next, or by calling someone out. They get put on the spot a little but no matter what they say the outcome will be good.
  • If they say what job they work, or that theyre a student, or something else boring, say "No, no, i didnt mean the boring stuff like where you work or where youre from. I mean like what's your thing?" The goal is you try to convey a sense that "a thing" is a hobby or passion or something that they love doing or someone they aspire to be. Say it with as much enthusiasm and interest as you can, and youll start getting some decent responses.
  • If it hooks really well, then good on you - you're the person in the room a) badass enough to be interesting and ask a question like that, and b) badass enough to have whatever your thing is, because...
  • ...if in a group setting, you'll invariably get asked (I make sure to only say mine up front if i really need to explain the concept of the question; otherwise, people ask without fail). Thats a chance to really own the set and be intriguing.
  • You can then vibe off of it later if you've isolated. I find it to be a good probe to see if she wants to qualify herself. And, if you werent asked in a group setting already, she'll ask you and you'll have a great chance to share your passions and seem enthusiastic about life. Just make sure you have something decently truthful or rehearsed if you have to.
  • In my experience it's done a lot for social proof and for building rapport. Sometimes it becomes a common thread in subsequent interactions, like online or text game. You can use it to nickname each other really easily too.

I guess it really isnt more than just a way of spicing up the "so what do you do?" kind of thing. But it's worked well enough for me. I dont rely on it more than as a back up, but it's really safe territory because not much can go wrong and there's a lot of directions you can go with it.