How do I stop being person no one wants to date because they don't want to "ruin the friendship"?

MagnusRoundstone · 2017-09-18T21:41:47+00:00

"Ruin the friendship" is just a way of saying not interested. Just start becoming the person they want to date.

Possibly_ · 2017-09-19T01:41:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheLimitlessMale · 2017-09-18T22:12:03+00:00

You are being way to nice and friendly.

Which isn't a bad thing, except if you are trying to get laid.

You have to communicate early on that you are not just a friend. I have never had a girl say this to me. Because I always flirt and put a sexual vibe into the conversation in the beginning.

Tokemoke · 2017-09-18T23:19:58+00:00

Declare your intentions early on, you will save alot of time.

2017-09-19T02:40:50+00:00

Too many people are giving obvious answers here.

A friend zone is a two way street. You are displaying that you are worthy of the friendship, and the friendship only, and letting it grow inside of her mind.

You need to display that you are not interested in the friend zone, but something more. This happens subconsciously for both of you. It starts by having a solid foundation of you, your relationships and your life before the "friendzone" occurs.

So, basically, do you have friends? Friends that you love, cherish, are loyal, have your back, are fun etc.? That's the most important step.

When you have people to fill this gap, your mind won't drift into "friends" right off the bat. In layman's terms, if you are full and walk into a restaurant, are you going to eat? So if you have friends, your mind won't drift into the friendzone. If you're full, you won't think of food.

Seduction and women come Last, after having a life built around you (job, stresses, future, money, friends all taken care of).

If I totally missed the target here, then let me give you the simple ways for this not to happen:

Let's say you have the girls number. You text and set up a date, approach etc whatever it might be. From second 0 to second infinity, your mind should be focused on 1. Dating her or 2. Fucking her or 3. Fwb (anything but friends). Try your moves, shoot your shots, and that should be your only goal. If she rejects you, then the emotional investment you had in her was nill.

Tl;Dr stop thinking of being friends with her. Pursue her, and if she says no, then move on.

Possibly_ · 2017-09-19T02:13:11+00:00

Just don't settle for being their friend

G-Dalf · 2017-09-18T22:12:21+00:00

The problem here is that your becoming "friends" in the first place. With a few exceptions, any time you start talking to or hanging out with a girl that you are attracted to, it should be to flirt and ultimately hook up with her. Make it clear early on with your actions and words, go on dates and use physical (Consensual) contact.

The second they say friendship, stop and move on. Once they think of you as a friend, odds are your chances of hooking up are slim and you're better off improving with practice on a new girl.

When texting, focus on logistics to setting up dates, and when on dates, be a fun and confident guy who isn't afraid to use some physical contact and slowly escalate.

Best of luck

jedipaul9 · 2017-09-19T03:12:34+00:00

In the past this has happened to me because I never really created any sexual tension. If a girl sees you as a friend, that generally means she thinks your "harmless" to be blunt. I'm willing to bet you probably do a lot of things that come across as needy. It could be that you're not accurately communicating your intentions. I like to make it very clear to women why I'm talking to them. I like to open by telling them that I think they're really attractive. There's no trick to it. Some girls get really creeped out and others fuck me. At least this way I never end up in a friendzone.

And my honest opinion about the "friendzone" is that it doesn't exist. You either actually have a friendship with a woman that isn't sexual, or you are wasting your time and attention on a girl that doesn't give a shit about you. I am never in the friendzone. If I'm no fucking a girl, and there's nothing else about her that I can relate to beyond sex, then I simply don't talk to that person. I do have platonic female friends, but not many and I believe it is a very rare thing for men and women to be friends without some unrequited attraction taking hold.

So if you ask me, if you are in the "friendzone" and you want out, you need to be the one to ruin the friendship. You either need to make a move and risk taking an L, or just cut your losses and walk away.

luaudesign · 2017-09-19T12:02:46+00:00

Stop becoming friends with women. Be a man to a woman, not a friend to a friend. If she doesn't want it, next her.

Title	How do I stop being person no one wants to date because they don't want to "ruin the friendship"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	56
Date	September 18, 2017 9:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/70y8zz/how_do_i_stop_being_person_no_one_wants_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-being-person-no-one-wants-to-date.1294158 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294158

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