School Of Life posted a new video about NICE Guys, If you are one, you must read the comments.

Murfdigidy · 2016-06-16T16:16:32+00:00

You sound like you're still a "nice guy".

a lot of women do take advantage of NICE guys

How so? Often times "nice guys" will do "nice" things with the intent of getting something in return, rather than simply giving out of compassion (i.e. actually being nice). If the girl then doesn't give them back what they secretly wanted, the "nice guy" will assume he's being "taken advantage of". Explain how this actually happens where the woman is entirely at fault.

friend-zone them and use them for their advantage

No no no. Women befriend all kinds of people, and they don't do it to be mean. Often the "nice guy" will be interested but cowardly mask it due to the mistaken idea that showing interest would be a "douchey" or "asshole" thing to do. If a "nice guy" acts like a friend and then gets treated like a friend, it's his fault, not the woman's.

even though they clearly see that the guy is interested in them sexually.

This is the case with almost zero "nice guys". If "nice guys" made their interest clear (actually clear) and get turned down, the woman has done nothing wrong. "Nice guys" think that they're entitled to a woman's affection simply because they're attracted to them. That's ridiculous.

I think if they realise how much a NICE guy suffers, they would probably stop doing it. But there is no way for them to realise that.

What exactly are they doing causing the "nice" guy to suffer that isn't explicitly the fault of the "nice" guy being too insecure and selfish to take responsibility for himself? What do the women have to realize?

Goodness.

2016-06-16T18:47:41+00:00

There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy just don't expect anything from it.

Its weird to see all the nice guy hate; the nice guy has become the pincushion for any guy looking to improve his self-image.

The "nice guy" we are talking about isn't a nice guy (I won't say what they are because we already know). It's like how we say literally non-literally, for the real good guys out there this will be just one other point of confusion and I think we are disservicing our more empathetic members by ostracizing a good quality through colateral damage.

I propose, /r/seduction, that we rename this archetype to something that doesn't portray kindness as a negative trait.

And if I may inject my opinion, I attribute a lot of suffering stemming from the fact that some men devote an unhealthy amount of their time thinking about seduction rather than just enjoying themselves and their relationships with others. The Dan Bilzarian effect (sorry if I butchered his name).

TheBattler · 2016-06-17T02:51:38+00:00

Can I ask a question?

Can someone explain to me the difference between a nice guy and a regular ass girl?

Like, half of this sub is about reading a girls' subtle, indirect communication. We don't shame them for it, even though in most walks of life like in your career being indirect is childish and will get you nowhere. Instead, we're supposed to work with them.

Why is the "nice guy" (who I personally think is an overblown, internet boogeyman) derided for being selfish and creepy when it seems like all they are is just a male version of a normal girl?

In fact, that's why I think it's kind of obnoxious to attribute inherently bad qualities to a nice guy because you can use those same bad qualities to describe the majority of girls. Alot of IOIs are very typical "nice guy" behavior, like when girls do nice things for a guy they're attracted to.

IMO the best way to cut down on the nice guy attitude is to tell them not that their approach is inherently bad, it's just inherently fruitless because most girls are socialized to be indirect and if two people are indirect, nothing will happen. If you tell a nice guy that his "tactics" (I put it in quotes because tactics implies some sort of planning and purpose) are shitty, but then talk about how to read a girls' IOIs or whatever then we will get absolutely nowhere.

tl;dr: I'm pretty sure there's a double standard when it comes to indirect communication where a girl who does it is normal and if she can't get laid or whatever her goal is, it's not her fault whereas a guy who does it is automatically branded as manipulative and it's his own fault. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-06-16T18:05:09+00:00

I thought that was a very thoughtful approach to a complex problem. Well done. I checked their channel and was surprised at the amount of relevant videos that I will have to check out.

I recommend another of their videos on a related theme about sexuality, titled On Defilement.

ghostofafrog · 2016-06-17T03:59:17+00:00

I think a lot of guys see befriending women as putting kindness tokens in until sex comes out. That's the wrong attitude, that's not what being a nice guy is, nor is it really what the friendzone is.

Being insecure for all of highschool taught me that not having that courage to really flirt, or to really tell a girl how you feel, etc. is how you get into the friendzone. That's 'your fault,' in the same way that it's a toddler's fault that he can't help you build a house. Sometimes that image in your head of what it means to be a sexually active, confident person looks so out of reach that being in that friendzone is the best you can do, and that's OKAY. You'll grow into your confidence, if you don't have it now, just keep pushing yourself when it comes to women.

It's the woman's fault when she's aware of his feelings, and she puts him in the friendzone because he has the potential to be nice crutches in times of need, basically fufilling that kindness token/sex stereotype.

When I realize that my attention/affection/intent is not working out how I want it to, I just cut that bridge. If I'm being kind for a woman with the intent of sleeping with her, and she eliminates that as an option, I no longer want to be her friend. That's okay too. It's okay to be interested in someone just for sex. What's not okay is expecting it just because you're nice. The difference is important to note.

bobboboran · 2016-06-17T00:34:29+00:00

Is it Stampycat who is narrating the video?

yardapesbb · 2016-06-17T13:48:58+00:00

Check out the 'art of charm' podcast on podcast one, episode #145 with Dr Glover.

John_E_Vegas · 2016-06-17T06:08:29+00:00

But I am not a woman-hater / RP-er

RP does not mean "woman hater."

Sure, there are woman-haters in the community. But by and large, RP is simply the study of sexual strategy and application of scientific observations about men and women in real life. Some guys just take their conclusions too far. Our society cannot thrive if men go their own way and don't reassert their dominance within stable relationships. But that doesn't mean RP science is wrong.

Title	School Of Life posted a new video about NICE Guys, If you are one, you must read the comments.
Author	quakeboy
Upvotes	125
Comments	25
Date	June 16, 2016 3:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4odx5r/school_of_life_posted_a_new_video_about_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/school-of-life-posted-a-new-video-about-nice-guys.1297726 https://theredarchive.com/post/1297726

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