This is for those of you who are struggling to make eye contact. I don't claim this will work for everyone. But this was a revelation in the last few days in my life.

I was struggling to make eye contact with people for a while. Occasionally I get into state, and then eye contact kinda becomes easy and natural. But normally I always struggled. I always accepted that's how its going to be, bcoz I have a computer based tech job and its left-brained blah blah or other self-justification BS.

But recently during a meditation session I discovered the deep roots of why I wasn't able to make eye contact.

1) I came from a place of "I have to be" the guy who makes flawless eye contact. And hence when people react weirdly to my eye contact it used to affect me and then its a negative loop sorta.

2) I deep down believed I was making eye contact for "bad/wrong reasons". Selfish, sexual what ever you call it. Even though I self-affirmed myself constantly that being open about what I want isn't bad. And I should not fall prey to social conditioning. Social conditioning which makes you feel guilt about wanting to have sex with many women. It wasn't easy.

3) There was this sense of creepiness because of all of this and a few more reasons put together. I felt like a creepy guy for making eye contact with women on the streets. The words I can describe that complex feeling with are selfish and lust. It was because I thought I was doing it just for me. It was hard to even smile at people effortlessly.

I'm not going to explain more because like every inner game aspect, it won't make any rational/logical sense.

But here is what worked for me.

As cheesy as it sounds - LOVE. Once I replaced the voice in my head with that word. I am going to project abundant selfless love to people I see everyday around me, eye contact became so much easier.

I didn't react when women reacted negatively to my eye contact. I'd rather say "It's okay, maybe you are having a bad day, or maybe you have issues, reason doesn't matter. I love you no matter what"

When I looked at women, this time I came from a place of "I appreciate how good you have dressed up, how good you look, how sexy you are, you are beautiful as you are, thank you for being you. If we get together we have a special time where we will explore each other"

Now surprisingly my outlook has changed. A lot of women and people in general react positively. Their faces lit up. Even the women who don't respond positively and look away with a bitch face. I just smile to myself. I'm pretty much calm and smiling most of the time.

Not sure if any of it makes sense. I would like to see if it works for you guys as well.