Based on the readings of Carnegie, Mark Manson, Lowndes, Art of Charm, additional shit, and field work. I read a lot of fuckin books so you don’t have to.

This is geared mostly towards the bar scene (I'm in college, so I wrote it from a college bar perspective).

• Watch/listen to standup comedy before you go out. Not only will this put you in a good mood, it will also give you some jokes you could use.

• Stand out in the crowd. Don’t be a peacock, but wear something that is a conversation piece. For example: a unique shirt, a hat for a specific sports team (not your school), just a tastefully unique item that a girl can start a conversation over.

• As soon as you learn whoever’s name you’re talking to, use their name as many times as possible. People absolutely love hearing their name.

• Make them feel important. Let them tell their own narrative, and ask questions about it that furthers conversation. Say as little about yourself as possible.

• If you run out of conversation, parrot back something she just said and reignite that flame. If she was just talking about work, and the conversation stops, “So what was your favorite part of your work?” You just bought yourself five more minutes of content.

• Be prepared to have something about yourself that she will remember, usually pairs well with your hometown, especially if you’re from an obscure place. “yeah I’m from Louisville, have you ever been to the Kentucky Derby?”.

• Body language speaks more than words. Stand tall and confident. Touching is one of the most subliminal signs of attraction, kino. See if she grabs your hand, rubs into you, anything really. If it’s going well, and she hasn’t already, initiate physical contact. High five, anything really.

• If you get her number, text her that night. She might not remember you tomorrow.

• Abundance theory: Hot girls get hit on by so many dudes that they don’t really care if something doesn’t work out with a guy they’re currently attracted to at the bar. Apply this theory to yourself. If you strike out with one girl, there’s 20,000 more hot girls within a couple square miles.

• Vulnerability ties into this. It doesn’t have to do with putting your feelings out there. It has to do with not being afraid to strike out. Major focal point of the Manson readings.

• Don’t talk negatively about anything or anyone. Even if she does, just refrain from it. If you say “ah fuck the colts” even if playful, it could shut you down.

• Find something that you are really interested or care about, and pursue it 100%. Girls get wildly attracted to a man who chases their ambitions. Even if its something like bourbon knowledge, the fact that you are really into something shows that you give a fuck.

• Try to watch a documentary everyday. Instead of just throwing on some family guy before bed, I watch a vice documentary on youtube or something similar. You can build a lot of basic knowledge about a lot of things, and that’s always nice to have in your toolbox.

• Treat every person you speak to as a childhood friend. There’s no nervousness in talking to someone you grew up with. Carry that mindset into starting a conversation with a total stranger.

• Reserve your smile. Obviously have a friendly, welcoming look on your face, but don’t smile immediately, wait until the girl has earned a smile. This will make it 20x more genuine.

• Incompatibility is simply a factor of life- your goal must not be to attract as many women as possible, but rather to screen for women with a high probability to being attracted to you.

• The vast majority of girls you meet will be either neutral or unreceptive of you.

• The percentage of women who are Receptive to you will increase proportionally to the quality of your lifestyle, your social status, and your looks. The percentage of women that you’re able to move from Neutral to Receptive will be proportional to how good your “game” is, or how well you’re able to communicate and express yourself with women. And your ability to sort through each type of women and meet as many as possible will be determined by how fearless and bold you are when it comes to meeting women. Pretty direct quote out of the book “Models” by Mark Manson.

• When making plans with a girl, make the plans. Instead of putting her in a situation where she has to choose, choose for her. Have you ever asked a girl where she wants to eat? Same shit. Instead of “What do you want to do tonight?” it should be “We’re going to Roy’s, be ready at 10!”

• Signs a girl is in to you:

o She ignores her friends to talk to you

o She introduces you to said friends

o When you ask her on a date, she offers an idea of a place to go

o She touches you unprovoked

o She makes strong eye contact with you, and doesn’t break it

• Art of Charm podcast has a very precise breakdown on how to pull. It is roughly this (modified for the college bar scene):

o 1. Make eye contact. Don’t be a creep, but if you accidentally make eye contact more than once in a crowded bar, it’s not an accident. Talk to her.

o 2. Introduce yourself. It doesn’t really matter what you say, just apply the knowledge from above.

o 3. Befriend her friends. Girls don’t just go to the bars by themselves, they go out with friends who may or may not be cool with their friend getting hit on. Again, remembering names are so important.

o 4. Isolate. If things are going well, ask her to get a drink with you! This is an opportunity to see if things are working for you or not. You can really sweeten the pot by asking if any of her friends want a drink too. This shows that you are a generous, thoughtful guy, and will make her friends have a slight bit more approval of you.

o 5. This is really up to you. You have a long term higher success chance by getting her number and making plans with her. But, if you wanna roll the dice on shacking that night, more power to ya.

• The Charisma Theory- Olivia Fox Cabane

o Presence + Power + Warmth = Charisma

♣ Presence is the aura you give off. Say person A is engaged in conversation with you and genuinely wants to know more. Person B is glancing at their phone, slouching over. That is presence. It also has a social media/texting application. If you’re tweeting lame shit or posing weak Instagram photos, that’s not a dominating presence. Mentally audit everything you’re considering posting. Market yourself. Don’t text back right away either. As junior high as that sounds, make yourself seem busy, important, high value.

♣ Power is the ability you have to make a difference in whatever you want, and the lack of fear in doing it. All the boys drinking natty but you wanna drink wine? Fuck it. Do you. While it might be a strange move, a girl will respect your decision to be your own man. Be comfortable with yourself. Influence the world around you. Don’t be a dick or power trip, but don’t be afraid to be yourself. Ties back into the previous point of investing yourself 100% into something you care about.

♣ Warmth- Make her feel important. Sound familiar? Ask yourself how you would feel in her position at that very moment. The chain of events that led up to you two talking at that moment. Some real introspective shit. Look past her imperfections and show that you’re genuinely interested in her, assuming you are. Just don’t be too generous with this, as too much can make you come off as an eager-pleasure, a real kiss ass, etc.

In Conclusion: • Don’t be shy. Pretty obvious.

• Confidence will move mountains.

• “You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others.”

• If a girl rejects you, move on. Tenacity makes you a creep in this situation.

• Give her opportunities to talk to you

• Be a good listener

• Cater the conversation towards her interests

• Make her feel important

• Confidence and body language are significantly more important than words

• Physical contact is important, no matter how insignificant it may seem

• Girls spend hours getting dressed up to go out. A compliment on their appearance isn’t as creepy as it may be to someone with approach anxiety.

• Be mindful of your presence

• Introduce, befriend, isolate

• Make yourself high value

• It is less about what you say, but more about how you say it.

The document is ever growing, and I welcome any conversation about it. Hope it helps someone out there meet new people.

Edit: Formatting

Books: How to Win Friends and Influence people; How to Talk to Anyone; Models by Mark Manson; and plenty more that I can't seem to remember.