How do you actually overcome an insecurity?

Rooibosisboss · 2014-04-25T22:02:00+00:00

ok man wow. if that first main paragraph there is true I'm sorry. Screw your parents/family clearly they are messed up.

My brother is 5'3 and is engaged has a ton of friends has a masters and has won numerous bodybuilding competitions. I'm 6 inches taller and have none of that. Height does not matter. You even said you're attractive so my initial response is to say "screw you dude" if you know you're attractive you need to stop with all of this.

The only reason I'm not saying "screw you" is if what you said about your family is really that extreme, because if it is I can give you some leeway there.

However know now these things:

You're not even short
Doesn't matter anyway
you're attractive
Lastly if I were you I would cut off connection to my family because that is ridiculous and then let them come to you if they are ever ready to apologize, but even then take it with a grain of salt because one last time. THAT IS RIDICULOUS

kingkongjaffa · 2014-04-26T00:01:19+00:00

I'm 5'6 and it's not something you can change, focus on other things that make you attractive, sure, being tall does help and does increase the range of woman available to you but it's not something you can change, go to the gym, look after yourself in other aesthetic areas, who do you think is more attractive someone who has their shit together and looks good, or someone who is really tall but badly dressed and out of shape?

and any person who calls you out on being short doesn't deserve your time anyway, girl or otherwise.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-04-25T21:48:07+00:00

12 Step groups describe your issue as Resentment. You resent the situation you are in. In fact, you resent the entire universe for not arranging your life in a way that you think it should have. Resentments will eat you alive, from the inside out.

There is a particularly good essay in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, entitled "We Agnostics." I recommend you read it. You can ignore the stuff about alcohol, just focus on the stuff about resentments. You can ignore the god and religion stuff too, if you prefer, just substitute your own favorite "higher power" which could be pantheism or cosmology or anything.

The core of this essay is that we lost faith in ourselves, and the universe, because we felt abandoned by the world. Our problems made us unsuitable, unloved, unwanted, but this is only our own perception. Our resentment colored our experiences, making our lives bitter and frustrated. We became agnostics. I often quote an old David Bowie lyric that explains this well, "Gods forgot they made me, so I forgot them too."

So you will have to take a different angle. Your life is arranged exactly how it is supposed to be. Your life has been arranged so that you several issues to overcome. It may be a struggle now, but over time, you will triumph over these obstacles (that you are imposing on yourself) and it will become a source of confidence.

To start out, you will have to stop comparing yourself to your brother. He had it easy. You had it the hard way. Whatever you got, you earned by yourself. This should be a source of pride for you.

You will also have to stop comparing your height to others. Take a look at the Human Height wikipedia page. Averages for US male height vary from about 5'7" to 5'10.5". You are absolutely average. You are normal.

andytdj · 2014-04-25T23:54:58+00:00

I'm exactly your same height, and guess what? It makes zero difference in this game. Girls will say that it matters, but your a man! And men don't waste their time with girls, they share their lives with women. You're way more awesome than you think, and please do not forget that. You rock!

karenrss26 · 2014-04-26T01:00:52+00:00

Height doesn't matter dude. I'm a girl but I am not attracted to tall guys. Yes, mostly to the girls, height is a big factor. They must look for a good and kind-hearted guy instead of looking for a tall guys. And to your family, so what if you are not tall as your brother? They must accept you as a whole you and give you a fair treatment as how they treat your brother. :)

SOGGYSAMICH · 2014-04-26T05:04:34+00:00

Being tall don't mean shit at least you don't have a 5 1/2 inch dick :(

Gallows9 · 2014-04-26T09:28:04+00:00

First. Stop. Shut up. Nobody but you cares that you're short. My wingman is a full foot shorter than me (That's 5'4") And he KILLS IT. You can do the same. So much of the game is about core confidence and overcoming mental barriers like this. Embrace the short. Find your inner short Buddha and embrace that man.

You overcome phobias by exposing yourself to them by small degrees. I imagine overcoming an insecurity works similarly. Go draw attention to your shortness and embrace it. Go use it as a damn opener! Make jokes about it! Nobody can use it to hurt you if it isn't something that bothers you. Take it from an ex-fatty. We're great at this.

very1 · 2014-04-26T14:20:08+00:00

You're 1.5 inches taller than me and you've gone to counselling over it? You can't change your height man, women might say passively that they prefer taller guys, but once they realize that you have an attractive personality, are confident and don't give a fuck, they won't care if you're a foot shorter than them.

L1AM · 2014-04-26T18:01:35+00:00

Dude you sure you weren't part of one of those sketchy '60s psychological experiments? It's messed up that people might judge you for something you cannot control. Unless you live in Holland, you're comfortably on top of the height bell curve.

Height is absolutely not a determining factor for attractiveness. It's 100% your personality and your interaction skills that matter more than your height. Stick with reading and finding advice on interacting, and going out and trying it. Most people don't judge others for their height, and you don't need to be with those who do.

It may be difficult, but I would recommend limiting interaction with your family. They're a sinkhole for negativity in your life that you don't need that.

L1AM · 2014-04-26T18:06:53+00:00

Try standup. It sounds crazy, but even it's at the most amateur level, it helps with insecurity because you can joke about it! You're by no means cripplingly short, but you can make all sorts of jokes out of it. That way, they're aware you're aware, and they're aware you don't care, or only care some. Soon enough, with everyone around you thinking like that, you may begin to think that too.

L1AM · 2014-04-26T19:07:39+00:00

Take one of the icons of seduction, Neil Strauss. He's 5'6". Mystery is 6'5" and wears tall hats and platform shoes to make himself taller. Height is not a limiting factor.

cruxae · 2014-04-25T22:25:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wikikhan · 2014-04-26T00:18:27+00:00

You need income security before emotional security. Especially if you want to score.

Title	How do you actually overcome an insecurity?
Author	Keasbeynights99
Upvotes	12
Comments	19
Date	April 25, 2014 9:28 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/23zg7e/how_do_you_actually_overcome_an_insecurity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-actually-overcome-an-insecurity.1303415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1303415

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