We were having lunch at my parents house. He’s still living with them, and the topic of conversation became taxes.
We live in a country where taxes are terible and ruin a lot of companies and enterpreneurs. He started pointing out his idealistic vision that people needed to pay taxes and never cut corners, eg, by downloading pirated software, trying to buy things off the books, etc.
We tried to explained to him how sometimes it’s necessary if you want to eat and pay your employees salaries, and that having a moral high ground is not always an option of your goverment is destorying you with taxes and thr economy is jot doing well.
Well, when I tried to intervene in the conversation, he started “shooshing me”, trying to prevent me from intervening. I was going to contribute with my ideas but he didn’t want that as he thouht I would be hostile.
I ignored his attempts at “putting me down” and still intervened. He kept at it, saying “nobody was talking to me”, and I lost it. I just god damn lost it...
I started talking over him and when he attempted to berate me, I started insutling him. See, my brother is shielded, always has been, and my parents protect him, so he thinks he’s naivete is justified and I’m just an arrogant asshole who wants to provoke poeple.
The discussion moved forward, he still attemtping to shoosh me and look like a victim, my parents trying to keep things quite, and me trying to prove my point that he had no idea what he was talking about.
In the end, he stood up, offended, and turn around to say a lot of things like “I’m not a good brother” and “he cannot have a simple discussion without getting insulted” and so on.
I told him to stop palying the victim role, and he replied “then why do you insult me? You are 32 years old...”. And I had it.
I shouted at him that if he doesn’t want to be insulted then he should not “put down”, “diminish”, “jerk me around” or “fucking shoosh me when talking”. I told him “I’m not his parents that protect him like a poor delicate flower so if he wants to act like a dick then he’ll be treated as such...”
He kept pressing, I kept shouting, well aware he wasn’t gonna win this. I was so mad, so angry at feeling “put down”. He even attempted to justify his actions and berate my reaction by saying stuff about my age, my maturity, my broderhood, etc, and all I kept shouting was “don’t put down... don’t put down... don’t put down... don’t put down...”
Eventually he backed down, got into his room, took the car keys and run off. My parents were furious that I did that, although they calmed down as soon as I calmed down.
I realize I went overboard with my reaction, especially since he’s not used to that kind of heat. I immediately texted him on whatsapp and sent him a voice message, apologyzing to him and reminding him it was just a discussion and it didn’t mean anything. He deleted my contact number...
I don’t know what to do. I feel like crap. I know he’s insecure, defenseless, sensitive, and has probably no idea how the world works... and I overreacted terribly.
What can I do guys? How can I fix this?
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