How do I escalate with women without offending them or coming off as a predator?

time_and_again · 2016-06-22T01:12:28+00:00

Ignore all the blogs and indignant rants about men. I honestly believe those screeds are screwing a lot of guys up. They exaggerate the problems and what's more, the only guys who take them to heart are the empathetic ones who probably weren't the problem to begin with.

Woujo · 2016-06-22T02:10:22+00:00

It's called "emotional intelligence." You've got to be able to read them and know when to step of the gas and when to brake. The key to emotional intelligence is to not be overpowered by your emotions and be rational. If you are getting no signs from them then keep escalating (that's why it's called assume attraction).

Footnob · 2016-06-21T23:58:52+00:00

Take it slow you may stuff it up a few times but you will get better at it each time. You could let her lead physically slightly and let her respond

DaygameCoach · 2016-06-22T02:46:46+00:00

Read all the sidebar help including that one Approach Anxiety.

Deal with your self limiting beliefs. If you think you are offensive and a predator, you are. Sounds like you are over-kino'ing (physically escalating too quickly or incorrectly).

dewhirst994 · 2016-06-22T12:11:21+00:00

If you can't high five a girl, or hold a girls hand, you aren't going to have much luck with girls.

Within the first few minutes of conversation, either give her a high five, hold her hand, or give her a hug.

CrushHazard · 2016-06-22T17:03:49+00:00

Take it slow at first. It's kind of like a game of poker. You need to make a small bet at first to feel out the field. Then you raise the stakes as you gain more information.

There's a reason it's called escalation. Dip your toe in first, and if you get a negative reaction, lay off for a little while.

sedditpadawan · 2016-06-22T22:08:17+00:00

I have had girls flirt and get touchy with me only to call me out as a creep (in a nonjoking way) when I do it back.

In the past, how have you touched girls? Like did you do it in the context of talking? Or did you just stick your hand out there?

You should check out the DiCarlo Ladder. But perhaps it's too abstract? For me, it's simple--escalate means you gotta start from somewhere: a handshake, hug, hi five. Touch her shoulder when telling a story. Hold her hand/ rest your hand on her knee if you're laughing (I'm pretty funny and I do the douchebag thing of laughing at my own jokes). From here, it's getting closer physically and knowing when to kiss. Sexual escalation is too much right now, but it seems you're just concerned with the basics.

You have to have some prescience though. Going for erogenous areas too soon (typically, the inner thigh) can kill the mood. Shoulder and knee touching are safe-ish bets--they won't make a women dig for her rape whistle, but you should be able to read how comfortable she is with it or not. Protip: flinching is generally not a good sign.

nerdswithgirls · 2016-06-22T06:42:24+00:00

Being afraid of "being the outlaw" is normal and a human thing to do - nobody wants to be singled out as the "bad guy". This may be because of our prehistoric ancestry, where being kicked out of the tribe for misbehaving meant death.

Nowadays this danger is obviously not real anymore, but realize also that your fear probably stems from lacking confidence in your emotional intelligence. This confidence you build over time with experience - there's no way around this but exposing yourself to interactions with women over, and over, and over again.

DisBetterBeGud · 2016-06-22T01:26:25+00:00

I can say this - women hate a wimp more than rapist.

Some get letters in prison, others get nada.

So escalate freely. How the fuck is being a creep even related to your problem?

I mean, creeps masturbate to couples actually escalating on a park bench.

Creeps dont do it themselves.

Dont think so much man.

Title	How do I escalate with women without offending them or coming off as a predator?
Author	makechangegreatagain
Upvotes	16
Comments	17
Date	June 21, 2016 11:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4p7qdz/how_do_i_escalate_with_women_without_offending/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-escalate-with-women-without-offending.1306957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306957

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