Seddit, HB9 and I don't want to fuck this up. Definitely need some advice

IANAPUA_Yet · 2010-10-07T03:30:58+00:00

EDIT: Jesus guys, I don't have oneitis, I would just like to not fuck this one up. I also know that my chances are slim, but I'd like to maximize my opportunities.

That's the definition of oneitis, dude. You're coming here with a scarcity mindset. This girl is special and you want to capitalize on it. She's not special. There are literally thousands of other knockouts at your school. Read the beginner material and do your best to implement it. Who cares if you fuck it up? Move on to the next one. If your focus is on building skills, you'll do great and you'll have your pick of the school by the time you graduate. If your focus is on getting laid this weekend, you'll never learn shit.

You're an engineer. Don't ask us how to build XYZ. Skim the manual and then try to build XYZ. When you get stuck on something (which you certainly will) ask us for help and we can explain what's going wrong.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2010-10-07T02:50:58+00:00

If you're new at this, you're probably going to fuck it up. Come to terms with that. You're not going to get anywhere if you're walking around on eggshells. It's going to take a year or two before you're pulling 9s on any sort of regular basis, so bring your expectations down to earth and run whatever game you have on her. It's not going to work. That's ok. Post a detailed field report here and there will be plenty of good advice that you can use for the next attempt.

tl;dr: You're going to fuck it up. Get over it and try anyways. Then post a FR.

ajcook921 · 2010-10-07T12:54:51+00:00

"I'm a typical engineer, small social circle, not very experienced with girls/relationships, smokes weed, fairly funny, on my way to an average 9-5 day job life."

You're on your way to making more money than 90% of America and probably 99% of the world as a whole. Talk about selling yourself short. You have some internal issues you need to deal with before you can get this girl

fragglemook · 2010-10-07T11:52:29+00:00

Oneitis.

philosarapter · 2010-10-07T14:29:01+00:00

Take a deep breath dude and fix your frame.

You are putting her on a pedastal and you need to stop it. Remember here: you are the prize to be won, not her. She has to win YOU over. Don't downplay yourself, you are awesome in every sense of the word. Don't say "I think I can do this.", think "I got this."

Secondly. Don't try to hide the fact that you are trying to get her phone number. Showing your interest in front of a whole group of people takes balls, and women love balls. No matter who you are around, give yourself a valid excuse to get her number. Do it in a charming and funny way. "Well if you expect me to help you, I'll need a way to get in contact with you, whats your phone number? Maybe I can hit you up this weekend." It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just whatever is relevant to the conversation.

Then, make some sort of deal with her. Don't offer to help her for free, (this I can guarantee will land you in the friendzone.) make sure she gives you something in return... first. "I'm sorry babe, but I don't work for free. Lets discuss how you are going to pay me." Get some face time with her, bring her out for drinks, have her jump through some hoops. BE A BOSS.

Finally, find some Zen. Let go of your attachment to the outcome. This is hard because I know you want it to work out. But the best way to lose something is to want it too much.

ArMcK · 2010-10-07T15:10:23+00:00

Hey look, OP, these guys are right. The fact that you're new at this is definitely going to be a challenge to overcome. What if you were trying to build a skyscraper and you'd only ever read one book on engineering and never tried it before. Do you think you could do it and not get somebody killed?

That said, I think it is possible. The only thing women are more forgiving than is gravity, so we have some hope, yes?

Think about this: You are the prize. She does stuff for you, you give her attention, validation, affection, and sex. She does stuff against you, you don't punish, you just withhold.

Her being hot, wealthy, social etc. is not a problem. Those are qualifiers. Those are things that you like. Cool. However, you are a deep and thoughtful individual so you are non-reactive to these traits. You want more than that out of a girl, right? Is she caring? Does she take in stray animals? Does she volunteer? Is she creative? What value does she bring to the world that she wasn't just born with? If she answers, reward her. If not, lose interest, read a magazine, watch t.v., go back to studying whatever.

That brings me to another point, and I think it was pretty well covered by others, but it's worth repesting--you offered to help her with a class. Hot girls are used to nerdy guys doing this. You are giving up your value for free. It's like you're the worst car salesman in history. You don't just hand over the keys, you gotta get something out of the customer! Be the best car salesman ever! Future project with her how you're going to be in the money once you graduate and get an engineering job. Talk about all the hard work, but how it'll be worth it because you can take her to Bali or Cancun or wherever. That kind of stuff. Talk about the high status car you'll buy. Hell, talk about the high status car you'll design and build for yourself. Future projecting is 80% as good as having it unless you're gaming an heiress. I totally made up that statistic, but you see where I'm going with that.

Dude, you got this.

monkmonkmonk · 2010-10-07T04:33:36+00:00

TRY NOT TO BE SUCH A BETA FAGGOT, THEY CAN SMELL THAT

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-10-07T02:50:26+00:00

No, we don't really think you can get any specific girl with the right approach. Quite the opposite. The idea is that with the right approaches, and approaching lots of girls, you will get girls. We don't promise you can get that one girl you want most. The fact that you want her above all others is probably why you won't get her. It makes you needy and clingy and you give off the wrong signals subconsciously. We call this "one-itis."

We had a discussion about this, some guys think we should turn away people like you that ask questions about how to get one specific girl. The answer suggested was, "you won't get her." I don't think that way necessarily, but they do have a point. We can't really advise you on how to get that one girl, because we don't know enough about her or you. If you wanted to get this girl with pickup methods, you should have started learning them well in advance of meeting this girl, so you'd have enough game to deal with her. But now it's too late for you and her, we can't give you magic words to get you two together. It doesn't work that way. But read some of the basic theories, they're in a link at the right, "New to this subreddit?" Learn things like "kino escalation," "disqualification," DHVs, ASDs, etc. They will be useful. Maybe not with this one girl, but surely with all the future girls you will meet.

Title	Seddit, HB9 and I don't want to fuck this up. Definitely need some advice
Author	NeedToChange
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	October 7, 2010 2:40 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dnvcc/seddit_hb9_and_i_dont_want_to_fuck_this_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-hb9-and-i-dont-want-to-fuck-this-up.1312164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312164

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