About to punch a baby seal in the face. Pretty sure I just landed in the friend zone.

meme4343 · 2011-02-23T05:17:06+00:00

sounds like you put all of your eggs in one basket. that's never a good idea, especially if you've never had any romantic interaction with the girl. what you should do is try to forget about the girl and pursue the many other girls available to you. there really is no downside to doing so:

you respect yourself for not prioritizing somebody who only thinks of you as an option
you gain more confidence, popularity, experience, and hopefully lovers when you continue to pursue others
your girl might come crawling back to you once she sees that you are capable of living without her

in reality, forgetting somebody who you're invested in is a very difficult thing to do. (it will probably be especially difficult for you, judging by what you're saying.) good luck

ElitePUA · 2011-02-23T07:13:53+00:00

But beyond that we talked on the phone, and texted a lot.

This comes up again and again on seddit and r_a. Why do you talk on the phone so much with a chick who's not even your gilrfriend? And what do you talk about? At this stage you should use phone and text to set up dates if you can, or to keep in touch in the meantime, not to pour your heart out.

See meme4343's comment.

Soupertramp · 2011-02-23T08:05:23+00:00

Recommended: find other girls.

If you must: ignore her for a good long while and then kino heavily when you get back in touch.

Lanko · 2011-02-23T07:36:13+00:00

Yeah, your friend zoned. I did this to myself when I started with game. Then I did something even stupider. I continued to try to game her even after we'd had a "just friends" talk While I was just learning the material. (and making all the dumb newby mistakes). Long story short, she thinks I'm a creeper and won't talk to me outside of emails.

There is no magic pill. We can't turn you into a Casanova over night. All we can do is give you a hand ful of tips, discuss why we think something you did might have worked and encourage you to get back on your feet to chase the next girl.

If your determined to repeat my mistake, search the reddit for kino escalation and read what people have to say about that. This seams to be what you've left out with this girl.

2011-02-23T18:35:50+00:00

Here's my take on it: The telephone call about new guy was her way of (gently) letting you know that she's seeing someone now, so stop hoping. Since you're both in college, it probably won't last more than a month or two. What you do now is: Hit the gym, start seeing other women, but don't cut ties 'completely'. Just stop 'being there' for her. Meaning, say Hi to her when you see her, go to something if she invites you, but no in depth phone calls. Sort of like how you'd treat a cool girl you know but aren't great friend with which is what she is. Do not under any circumstances 'be her friend'/emotional tampon. It's sort of a balancing act: be civil, and don't show much interest because you are pursuing better prospects right now. This is critical. When they finally break up, then go back to seeing her as one of many girls you are currently pursuing. If she's the only girl you're still chasing now and when they break up, god help you man. See also: Pedestal Theory, Ladder Theory

mysedditaccount · 2011-02-24T02:07:19+00:00

This is classic. She doesn't really like the other guy. The girl is trying to make you jealous and gauge your interest. You are not friendzoned, but you will need to play the game where you show her that you can attract other girls too. After this, you will have another shot with her. If she keeps playing these games at that point, she may not be worth it.

EDIT: Just as an example, this is no different than when a girl you're talking to dances with some other guy at a club. The correct action is to go talk up some other girls and be the life of the party. In this situation too, the girl is trying to see how badly you need her. Show her you don't.

2011-02-23T07:50:50+00:00

God I got the same thing with this girl now. I know I need to ignore her and go after other girls, but I just started leaning like you and its hard to get over this one-itis. Oh well, like they say, no pain no gain!!! :)

on_the_dl · 2011-02-23T15:51:16+00:00

... I dont wanna make things awkward.

Awkward for whom? Sounds like the situation is already bothering you. What's really happening is that things already are awkward, but only for you.

My advice: Go ahead and make things awkward. Ask her out. If she says yes, no more awkward. If she says no then maybe she'll feel weird with you around the friends and go away. Whatever happens, you're going to feel better.

piggless · 2011-02-23T23:50:09+00:00

It sounds like she waited around for you, but got tired of waiting. Don't fixate on her, but it's petty to stop talking to her just because she's interested in another guy- whether or not she was ever interested in you. If you think the only way to get her is to ignore her completely then you're already too invested in her.

TrollyMcTrollster · 2011-02-24T20:28:52+00:00

I've broken out of the friend zone before, you need to stop paying attention to her so much. You need to give her time to miss your "friendship". Be cool.. just give it time...

MonkeySteriods · 2011-02-23T03:15:19+00:00

This belongs on AskSeddit not here.

Title	About to punch a baby seal in the face. Pretty sure I just landed in the friend zone.
Author	fudgethisimdone
Upvotes	8
Comments	14
Date	February 23, 2011 3:14 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fqr75/about_to_punch_a_baby_seal_in_the_face_pretty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/about-to-punch-a-baby-seal-in-the-face-pretty-sure.1315858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315858

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