Hey dudes –

TWiAS is a bit late this weekend due to the events reported in the FR I just posted. Slept in till 1 pm today, and it felt gooooooood.

"This week in AskSeddit," if you haven't seen it before, is a round-up of some of the top posts in Seddit's companion subreddit AskSeddit, which is where beginner and/or specific-situation questions on pickup and seduction should go.

Without further ado:

#1. How to deal with guys coming up to girls I'm with?

AltHypo is having trouble with guys hitting on the girls he's with. What do?

Lots of good anti-AMOG tips in the comments, such as:

befriend them

say something like "look [girls name], hes trying to impress you. is it working?"

remain alpha, and don't become quiet and let him steer the conversation

I usually make my presence known by putting the arm around the girl or something of the likes, while poking fun at them in some way

say to the girl "do you want to talk to this guy?" and if she says yes, then fuck it let her talk to him. If she says no, then LEAD her away from the guy.

But the deeper issue is that OP wasn't actually on dates with these girls, which may be a sign that he's being oneitis-y about these female friends, and just needs to go out more and develop more of an abundance mentality.

2. std's...

iamnotanerd was wondering how sedditors deal with STDs, like whether and how to bring it up before an f-close. The consensus was use condoms, and a couple of us added "don't give head (until you've had the talk)."

That said, condoms are only partially effective against some STDs (e.g. herpes, HPV), and even if you ask, not every person tells the truth, or even knows they're infected. Here is PosterKitten's take on the bigger picture:

Know your shit, what to look out for, and (crucify me for this, boys) try to keep reasonable high standards.

Beyond that, remember that what we do, when it comes down to it, is a game of numbers, a game of practice, and a game of risk. If you are not taking risks, you will achieve nothing. If you take stupid risks by going in ignorant and unprepared, you are making the world a worse place.

He also linked to a previous seddit discussion of STDs. Top comment by ArMcK: "the whole STD topic should be part of your screening process."

3. 90% of the "Here's what I'm going to do/say in this situation" questions can be answered below.

Basically, InferiousX has had it up to here with posts about particular lines for particular situations, and wants AskSedditors to avoid canned material in favor of the following guidelines (emphasis mine):

  • Spontaneity: Learn how to be in the moment. Observe. Ask her open ended questions. Compliment something subtle on her. Start conversations using situational openers as much as possible. They keep you in the present moment, and in the conversation and out of your own fucking head which defeats most guys before they even open their mouth.
  • Forget about what you're saying and instead focus on how you're saying it. "Hello" with your shoulders back, deep tonality and good EC is miles above "Hello, HeyIwaswonderingifyouhaveheardofthegirlfriendtest" coming out of your mouth all nervous and canned like.
  • Kino, kino, kino. If you aren't touching her you aren't building attraction.

Sounds good to me!

Bonus post

In the above spirit of avoid-canned-lines, the following post and response last week was pretty solid:

Q: What's your best "excuse" to go in for the k-close?

A: (top comment by probama)

you don't need to say anything.

  1. shut the fuck up for a minute, intense eye contact
  1. hand graces her cheek, then softly grab her neck
  1. move in sloooooooowly
  1. close eyes when you're close
  1. kiss

it ain't too difficult, partner. stop trying to make it more difficult than it is.