After reading this subreddit for a while, and availing myself of some of the web's other resources, and practicing what I learned (with varying degrees of success), I've had some time to think about this stuff.

And something just hit me. A realization that I wanted to pass along, despite the fact that I'm certainly no expert at this yet.

Wait. Stop. Around now, at of you are saying to yourselves: "Mistake. Stop that. Don't tell yourself you are not good. That's defeating your game."

But see, that's the realization. Is that this idea is WRONG. It's okay not to be good at this, because it's an uncomplicated task that is all about practice and relaxation. That's it. It has nothing to do with talent, or genetic fitness, or real value, or anything else that is actually something to be proud of.

Men get nervous approaching women because of the mistaken belief that success or failure says anything about their worth as a person. But because anyone can learn to do it, it must be a skill that doesn't require talent, which means that it says nothing about you.

There's no more reason to be ashamed of being bad at picking up women than there is to be ashamed of being bad at math.

And that's why anybody who talks about AFCs or chodes doesn't get it. Thinking that being able to talk to women makes you brave or manly means that you still think that one has to be brave to do it. And that means he still feels fear. If you have contempt for people who can't do it, that means you still feel fear.

Think about it. A math expert doesn't think of people who get sweaty palms in math tests as "pussies". He thinks of them as people who haven't learned math, and hence are scared in a situation where they don't have to be. He knows it's just a simple task that has nothing to do with him, and everything to do with how well he paid attention in class.

So the point isn't to be "brave", or to be proud of what you accomplished. The point is to not need bravery, and to realize that it's not much of an accomplishment.

You just keep practicing until you're comfortable in these situations. Until you realize, really accept, that pickup isn't scary because it isn't dangerous, and it isn't a measure of your worth because it isn't difficult.