[Frustration Report] Flaked. Badly.

kruunch · 2011-05-19T08:52:46+00:00

I'd just brush it off, yell out "NEXT!" and move on.

Dorman010 · 2011-05-19T14:48:45+00:00

"Okay, but I can't stay for long."

That's a red flag and a no-go right there. Any girl who really wants to see you will text back fairly quickly about your plans. A surefire way to lose value in her eyes is to harp on her to respond about your meeting.

I learned this the hard way with a girl I chased right after my last breakup. She's super hot, and gave me all kinds of interest. However, when it came time to hang out, she strung me along. I would set plans, she would agree to them and everything on paper would be awesome. Come time to actually hang out and BAM flake, flake, flake. Tried for 2 months using every trick I know how to defeat a flake but no dice. The only good thing that came out of this is that I learned some warning signs for flakes. Lessons learned lol.

Anyways, I read both your other reports. Your day game was good enough. Your text game completely shot you in the foot. You were too ready to do whatever she needed to do to hang out with her. She's babysitting someone else's kids? There's no way you should have volunteered to hang out with them and her.

For one, those kid's parents would never want some stranger from another city that she's met once to meet you.

Second, you gave her no reason to hang out with you. You never told her anything that you would be doing, interesting spots to see; just a generic "prepare something interesting for me." Think about this from a girl's standpoint. What thoughts/emotions are going through your head if a guy tells you that? Now add to the fact you really have no idea what's planned when he comes to town. See where I'm going? You set the time but you told her to set the events.

What you failed to do was put a hook in her that compels her to stick with what your plans were. Google Maps the area, find a food spot, a shopping district, an art gallery, check the local newspapers for events going on that week, even just having a piece of clothing to shop for would have been better. These are things you need to keep in mind when making plans. The other reason is women ALWAYS talk to their friends. So when they ask so what are you and the hot guy going to do? She responds "Well, we're meeting up at such and such, but I don't know." Assume her friends will always be cock-blocking. They don't feel how she does or know how cool you were when you two met. Nope, all they know is some guy is trying to get into her pants. You need to give girls a safety line to tell their friends "Oh yea, we're meeting at this train station, and then he's going to show me this shop that's supposed to have really good waffles."

The other guys are yelling next and saying it's all her fault, but is it? These flat out failures are the best learning experiences you will ever have. Sit back, don't just blame her, try to look at it unbiased and see both sides, and learn.

Dorman010 · 2011-05-19T11:47:56+00:00

Fuck it bro. She sounds pretty horrible if she stood you up after you traveled to her city. Just ignore it and move on. Did you at least get a nice view of the city?

crazybass · 2011-05-19T10:06:21+00:00

You dodged a bullet, any girl that flakey, you're best off without.

2011-05-19T16:04:06+00:00

Some of the responses here are a little jaded. There's nothing wrong with being nice and conversational and nothing wrong with fitting a date into her schedule too; women have jobs, guys. However, "Okay, but I can't stay for long." should have raised a flag to a complete amateur. If she isn't excited to see you, don't waste your time and especially your money. If she does text you back to apologize, she either had something major come up that she wasn't comfortable talking about, or she is going to string you along again. Make her come to your city to apologize. Perhaps even flake on her, :p

2011-05-19T10:10:59+00:00

Sounds like she got cold feet, plain and simple. There are few things that suck more in this game than getting stood-up. You gave her a chance to get out of the date and she didn't take it.

She doesn't know you and you don't know her. So don't take it personally. All of this situation is in her head. She was probably anxious and nervous and she let it get the best of her.

Nexism · 2011-05-19T11:03:58+00:00

Don't go out of your way to set up an event, like, you shouldn't have to "go out" just to meet her.

Continue with your day, and set it up meawhile.

the_gubernaculum · 2011-05-19T20:05:28+00:00

Maybe she gave you a fake phone number and the person you were texting just played along with whatever you were saying. Trolled by a stranger?

bobleplask · 2011-05-19T09:00:27+00:00

No idea, but I would guess it's age-related. Girl has issues, so move along.

dzy1 · 2011-05-19T15:18:42+00:00

First don't want so long to text. You want to bring back the feelings of that moment when you guys met asap. Texting next day is not desperate...especially if you met at a club you need to get back in contact asap.

You basically waited too long and she had too much time to think about the whole situation.

theawesomeone · 2011-05-19T17:02:57+00:00

So she gave the phone to her friend who pretended to speak French? That's fucked up. Don't waste your energy on immature girls like this.

2011-05-19T18:34:02+00:00

text her a "that was very unkind" and delete her number....that way she'll feel a pang of guilt about it eventually

bitches be bitches, yo

2011-05-19T10:42:26+00:00

She might have been a very shy person who deep down wanted to get out of her box and meet you but just couldn't bring herself to do it. Or she could have been very young and her friends convinced her you were creepy and you should be messed with and taught a lesson for trying to get with someone underage.

SPlNNER · 2011-05-19T20:06:18+00:00

I didn't read your post, but judging from your title, I have something to say.

You are frustrated. This is good. Accept it. Breathe it. Roll around in it until your entire body is covered. Feel your frustration at it's very essence.

Then, take it apart bit by bit. Analyze it and understand what is the makeup of your frustration. Build an image of the anatomy of your frustration.

It is good to be frustrated, but only if you're willing to improve from there. Do not just push your frustration aside; it will only build into a bigger mess. Dig right into your mountain of frustration and tackle it head on from it's core.

EDIT: Reading your post, she flaked on you. Forget about the girl, deal with your problems, and move on. She isn't worth your time.

Title	[Frustration Report] Flaked. Badly.
Author	Dorman010
Upvotes	17
Comments	22
Date	May 19, 2011 7:15 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hevft/frustration_report_flaked_badly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/frustration-report-flaked-badly.1318434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318434

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