Going out alone...

elmcityalpha · 2011-07-09T20:55:42+00:00

You're making it sound like it's all in your head, but it could be that people are truly reacting to you differently if you're alone. Social proof is important.

Theoretically, you should be able to fake it: Approach one set. Make friends with them. You now have friends with you. Proceed as usual.

I don't mean to be condescending, because I know it's not going to be that simple, but it should still help a little. Good luck.

corbs · 2011-07-09T20:24:01+00:00

It sounds to me it's the social proof you feel you're lacking. When you are on your own you can't say 'I'm just here with my friends'. You need to be your own social proof. You should love spending time by yourself just as much as friends. In the end you are the only one you should have to 'fall back on'.

ColumW · 2011-07-09T20:52:09+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. My friends think I'm some sort of approach master mostly because they will point at the hottest girl in the room and I'll nonchalantly approach her and get her into a conversation with no problem. When I'm on my own, without that subtle nudge, I tend to get into my head and avoid the approach all together. I've always wanted to give day-game a try but I have trouble motivating myself when my mates aren't around.

I think it is a pride thing for me. The fear of my friends thinking I am a coward is stronger than my fear of being rejected by the girl. One fear overrides the other. It's like I have a reputation to maintain now. But it makes me feel a little like a phony - like I'm just posing as someone capable of approaching.

sithyiscool · 2011-07-10T01:12:05+00:00

I feel that I am better at approaching girls when I am by myself. I don't rely on my friends, and don't feel social pressure or prying eyes. Use this to your advantage!

Casan0va · 2011-07-10T00:10:28+00:00

I have this sometimes. I'll go out with friends one night, be in state 100% and totally dominate. Then, the next night I'll be out alone and will have trouble getting pumped or building momentum. The worst part is that you know it's totally unreasonable.

Mostly it happens after I haven't been out alone for a while and I get in my head. I just fight through it and keep approaching. Also, remember to entertain yourself. The more focused you are on your own fun and entertainment, the more pressure it will take off of you to be the awesome pickup master.

Keep at it man! :)

Lolwatclothes · 2011-07-10T01:26:23+00:00

This is great because you're developing. You realize this is your barrier. You want to be self sufficient with and without your friends. There are going to be moments (like the ones you have realized) that you'll be solo. Are you going to call or wait until your friends arrive, so you can make the approach?

tl;dr: be comfortable with yourself and with your friends and you'll become an even more attractive guy; lead your own way and discover your own path

Title	Going out alone...
Author	ZakieChan
Upvotes	12
Comments	12
Date	July 9, 2011 6:39 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/il1p3/going_out_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-out-alone.1320072 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320072

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