About suppressing negative feelings

CrawstonWaffle · 2011-10-08T14:03:21+00:00

You'll start to notice a bit of difference between the pains of discipline--that is controlling, mitigating, and even eradicating negative feelings--and repression, which constitutes pretending the feelings simply aren't there.

A common phrase I've seen on here is "acknowledge, and move on." That's the simplest way to put the methodology to deal with negative feelings, but it's really reductive in its phrasing.

The best things I've found thus far--and for the record I'm not authority or have had lots of success, but do suffer long-term clinical depression and treat it successfully without pharmaceutical medication--are thus:

Exercise/Proper Diet. Just have them.
Do not overextend your goals and do not announce them to others. Always "leave some in the tank" when you're working so you don't risk burning out or getting in over your head, even if it likely means your progress each day will be miniscule.
Life sometimes really does just suck a lot. You're either adapting with the pain of discipline or you may as well kill yourself--note: not actually condoning suicide, just that via reductive reasoning these are your only two real options.
You are going to change and become some different. This is normal, and ultimately a net good if it means you're becoming more survivable. Don't fight it, just roll with it and make sure you've got the big ones (food, water, shelter, utilities like heat and electricity and internet, clothing, transportation) covered.
The only person who gives you shit is an asshole. Valuable to see sometimes, but don't give an asshole more credence than its worth.
I suffer from feeling as though I don't have enough value to give a girl as well. I'm working on this by focusing on being disciplined and just not caring whether I'm successful or not. Easier said than done, but ultimately I can't invest in women when I need to invest in myself, so my actions follow suit even if my feelings don't. It has gotten better the more I do this.
Idle hands man. Find constructive things to do. Writing, running, reading, basket-weaving, rock climbing, dog wrangling. Whatever it is that keeps you busy and with obligations and doing things is what you need to be doing to fill up time and while it won't eliminate the bad feelings it will make you realize "wow I don't have time to feel shitty about this stuff, I have actual semi-tangible things to do." Then at the end of the day or during idle moments you can visit the pain or insecurity, and if you've been doing all this stuff you can see it for what it is--insecurity and shame and fear that you can ultimately let go.

I know this all sounds rather trite and pithy, because it is, but maybe it'll be of some help to you.

Skellyton · 2011-10-08T14:18:25+00:00

Dude, don't suppress them or force them away, that cant be healthy. Analyse what your thinking, if you feel inadequate because you haven't had a serious relationship imagine the guys that aren't even able to function socially. I pride myself on my ability to face fear, if something is scary I simple repeat "you only live once" in my mind, it allowed me to approach 20+ girls on my first day and hundreds more after that - AA becomes something I look for now just so I can conquer it. I advise you to adopt the same mentality. Also, I jumped out of a plane. Chin up, head high, look like a boss, be a fucking boss.

PyouA · 2011-10-09T06:11:11+00:00

There is an interesting psychological duality that you're bringing up here. The fact of the matter is that the bulk of the seduction community will most likely tell you that faking it until you make it is going to give you your best chance with women while psychological journals and the bunch will mostly tell you that you need to confront what is going on in order to truly move past it.

It is my feeling that both are wrong.

If you look at the mirror and smile everyday you will actually become happier. If you think of yourself repetitively in certain ways your brain chemistry will actually change to accommodate the new image of yourself. So on a psychological level I would say what you are doing isn't entirely unhealthy - and on many levels could actually be beneficial to your well being.

On the seduction end however, if a girl notices that you are acting - you are usually blown. If you feel down when you are opening a set, role with it.

THE IMPORTANT PART OF WHAT I'M SAYING:

What is important here is that you differentiate emotions from beliefs. Emotions are fickle, ambiguous and constantly changing. For your mental health as well as your game the best thing you can do is realize when you are having an emotional response and understand that 1. it is part of being human, so don't apologize for it while 2. not letting it take over who you are. If you don't feel great and are tired/down/bored whatever - you could still get laid like that as long as you are someone who BELIEVES that they are a confident and capable person. As long as you are able to distinguish between the two sets (emotions and beliefs) then beliefs will be 99% of what matters. Now if you believe that you are a fuck up, or not good enough or whatever - that is a HUGE issue. The good news is, I would bet you don't. You said it yourself that you are FEELING these emotions.

Why should you give a fuck if you feel afraid? Are you a coward? If you believe you aren't - then fear is just some stupid emotional response - take control.

Be who you believe you are, not who you feel you are.

oaksalve · 2011-10-09T13:10:55+00:00

Don't suppress your negative feelings, they are there for a reason. I don't know your history so I have no idea why you're feeling this deep negativity. If it is constant, powerful, or tied to your past it might be a serious problem. A not so popular suggestion here on Seddit is getting therapy. If you feel like your issues have caused you to feel miserable for periods of time before, you need help getting over them. No amount of "man up" or "hit the gym" will wave away personal issues. Think long and hard. It takes a real man willing to change himself to admit you need help.

Title	About suppressing negative feelings
Author	perchrc [recovered]
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	October 8, 2011 1:50 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/l53d5/about_suppressing_negative_feelings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/about-suppressing-negative-feelings.1323559 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323559

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