How to proceed after a girl rejects a kiss

2012-01-15T23:19:18+00:00

I went for the kiss in the middle of the first date with a girl, and she turned her cheek. We were salsa dancing and I thought the moment was right. I laughed it off and pulled her in close and kept dancing, but inside I was like, fuck fuck fuck. But I played it cool, made it through the end of the date thinking I would get the "let's just be friends" speech, but she lingered at the end of the night and I went to kiss her again. She is now my girlfriend. Later she told me that she never kisses someone on the first date, but my attempt made her consider it so that she was okay with it at the end of the night.

meltmyface · 2012-01-15T20:34:07+00:00

Laugh it off and continue to enjoy yourself as you were. As far when and if you should try again? that's just something you gotta learn to read, but i feel like you should be touching a chick at least around her neck and shoulders or lower back before you're kissing. I've been denied kissing a chick maybe two times and one was just wrong place and time, but still got that make out later on.

2012-01-15T19:26:07+00:00

I like what Jeffy from RSD says: If she rejects the cheek, don't let it break your flow or state, just back off a bit, resume as usual, and when you feel like going for it again, go for it.

ReneG8 · 2012-01-16T17:26:11+00:00

Oh I so tried to kiss the girl from the club on saturday. We were in heavy dance mode, with touching and everything, but she jsut wouldn't let it happen. After the second time I got the message and backed off, but she was very into me. She just didn't want to give it up on the first night.

I was slightly tipsy, so I shrugged it off and danced with her heavily. The night ended uneventful however she wants to see me again. Were in contact.

So advice: Be yourself man. When you got the signals that she is into you, you're on the right track. The kiss deny might have several reasons. Don't get hung up on it.

notcaptainkirk · 2012-01-15T22:17:34+00:00

If she actually likes you, she's likely just playing hard, so go again later.

Most importantly, don't be a bitch about it regardless of the situation.

notarapistpua · 2012-01-16T00:05:12+00:00

I've also gone in too soon. Then I went in real close, did the triangle stare, held her neck/cheek with my hand and went in real slow. Nailed it.

StarkNYC · 2012-01-16T03:53:44+00:00

I used to be deathly afraid of going for kisses. I took it as rejection. Now, I view it more as her "pacing" me/trying to not be too easy. And, while it depends on the circumstances, I generally like going for the kiss earlier as it declares intent.

Off the top of my head, here are some examples of times I've been rejected and the eventual outcome:

met girl by pool in hotel but I had to leave town the next morning, ended up going for a kiss within 20ish minutes (she was sober, I was iffy). I tried, no joke, at least 4 times and she kept turning, cheek, asking me if I always moved that fast, etc. we ended up sleeping together that night
while watching movie with "acquaintance" (hung out once before on friendly terms, this time was ambiguous). Went for it, was denied. Went for it a few minutes later, success. Proceeded to escalate, she hesitated, no dice. Few weeks/month later, we become FWBs and have lots of sex.
met girl at bar, was flirty, though very drunk, eventually went outside with her. she just refused to kiss. i kept persisting, etc (perhaps more aggressively than above). still no dice. ironic as she was far less attractive than the girls above
was dancing/talking/flirting with a girl all night, had made plans to meet up. Went for kiss, she rejected. We dance some more, I never try again. She flakes and I never hear from her.

Though these were hard to think of because I think generally girls don't view kissing as a big deal... and being rejected really is nothing to be ashamed of - if anything, be proud for trying.

I guess the things that helped me the most are:

if she rejects you but still stays with you, try again in a few minutes.
i like to maintain the frame of 'oh, you're being shy. how cute' / she's pacing bc she doesn't want me to think i'm easy / i just ignore the fact that she rejected me
for some reason, just trying again seems to work... maybe they like the confidence

KindaRipped · 2012-01-16T02:31:01+00:00

I'd wait for a little while before you try to kiss her again, but inbetween those times watch her body language (ex. pointing knees towards you, coming closer to you or trying to sort of back away) to see if she actually likes you or if she is just being nice.

2012-01-16T05:28:58+00:00

Well if she's still hanging out with you, then you haven't failed and can try again whenever you damn well feel like it.

2012-01-16T04:28:30+00:00

A month or two ago, a girl I had my arm around (she was fine with it) wouldn't kiss me. I said "The way this works is you angle your head up about 30 degrees and then turn it towards me." I said it in a joking tone and she laughed.

Didn't try for a kiss again that night. Took her on a 1st date, totally froze her out, didn't try to touch her at all.

F-closed about 2 weeks later and she's now an FWB.

So, this might work for ya. :) Why does it work? It shows you don't care and also have some sense of humor. And you are emphatically not apologizing for your attraction or trying to kiss her.

dggenuine · 2012-01-16T02:21:46+00:00

Punch her in the throat.

EDIT

Thought I would edit for clarification. Despite being downvoted quite a bit (I appreciate those of you that got the joke and upvoted/left a good comment) this was the most responded to comment. So I feel like I've started a real conversation about misogynist throat punching.

It's a disease I have suffered from, in silence, for far too many years. Not enough of you know about this disorder.

Of course I'm just joking.

I actually showed some girlfriends of mine the response and they loved it. I would never punch a girl in the throat (I'm so tempted to say "unless she deserved it" - but I won't because I feel too many of you wouldn't understand).

Anyway, it was a cheeky response (in the same vein as all of this seduction stuff - stay light, be contradictory/challenging) to a situation that I have been in myself.

Yes I have been rejected when I went in for a kiss.

I felt I handle it well. Most of the responses here were BS, don't stick around, play it off, etc. just get out - leave, pack up your stuff kindly and gtfo.

So, my apologies to those that thought I would actually punch a girl in the throat. I'm 27... and so far I'm 27 years strong without throat punching a girl - one day at a time.

sallywicked · 2012-01-16T06:04:53+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLeZJkJrLzE

2012-01-16T08:04:27+00:00

I'd usually pull her in even closer and whisper something in her ear. Whilst slightly rubbing my stubble against her face and caressing her using my whole body. Kind of with the mind set that I'm Don Juan

JonnGotti · 2012-01-15T20:39:38+00:00

i like to make a big scene out of it, like if i go in and she in any way rejects it or pulls back etc...i like to say in a high pitched voice "whaaaaaattt" and then follow it by smiling and playfully saying "i know you did not just give ME the pull back" and then try to continue what you were talking about or based on what she says keep being smooth...

Look at it this way, if you and a girl are in a situation in which a kiss is likely, its more often than not simply a matter of she not feeling fully ready/fully comfortable for the kiss. Because shes THERE, shes definitely thought about kissing you. so play with her more and smooth out the edges.

Edit: i also like to give a hand gesture when i say the word "me" where i use both my hands and point at my face/upper body area. Field Tested Example: i was on the couch with a girl, after going in for the kiss she didnt flat out reject it, but she sort of played it off by pulling back. i did my move and she ended up instantly coming in to kiss me.

yenners · 2012-01-15T19:47:01+00:00

Walk the fuck away.

soulreaver5600 · 2021-11-03T12:54:35+00:00

I had a girl rejected my kiss once. Then she was my girlfriend for a while. You can imagine we did a lot more than kiss at that point. There is hope but it's a matter of how you approach it. I later found out that she has a rule. She doesn't kiss on the first date.

Title	How to proceed after a girl rejects a kiss
Author	Xstream2
Upvotes	45
Comments	56
Date	January 15, 2012 7:15 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oi8ah/how_to_proceed_after_a_girl_rejects_a_kiss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-proceed-after-a-girl-rejects-a-kiss.1327017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1327017

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