How much do I have to change myself for "the game"?

2012-09-06T02:09:55+00:00

"Be confident' is watered down bullshit. Don't be yourself, but don't be somebody else, either; be a happier, more comfortable, more personable version of yourself. If this is your first time trying to get into this, and you think that the "alpha" thing would come across as fake, it's because it probably would.

I'm not the most suave man here, by far (for now), but I did spend a lot of time on myself, what we call "inner game", so I'm going to give advice on that. Forget about women, forget about IOIs and shit tests and ASD, forget about /r/seduction for as long as you need. I knew about this subreddit, and read and applied some "outer game" stuff for awhile, but then I stopped because I realized I had to work on myself. Now I know I'm ready to begin again, from the right starting place. Improve yourself before you try to deal with others.

Only you know what you'd like to get better at, but I can give some broad advice.

Start reading /r/malefashionadvice. Look good.
Start reading /r/fitness. Feel good.
Introversion, shyness, and social awkwardness are not synonyms. They are three different things. Two of them are flaws that can be improved upon with effort and knowledge (like everything else), and one of them is as much an advantage as you let it be.
Read the greatest self-help book ever written; How To Win Friends & Influence People. It's a sort of generalized version of what we do here; the principles are the same.
Treat yourself like somebody who deserves to be treated well. You know all those little things you do that don't really matter much of anything but at then end of the day pile up to make you feel shitty about yourself? Stop that. We broadcast our social standing subconsciously; if you don't treat yourself well, everyone else will pick up on that and follow suit.
Get better at one thing, fix one small thing about yourself; it takes about three weeks for an action constantly repeated to become a habit. Then get better at another thing. Then get better at one more. Now you're good at four things; the three you set out on and self-improvement. And now that you're good at self-improvement, get better at even more things.
Figure out who you are. Integrity is one of the most important virtues you can have; it's courage, determination, intellect, honesty, and self-validation all in one. Rand once said that "integrity is the ability to stand by an idea." Stand by yourself.
Expanding on the above point, “Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” This is me quoting The Fountainhead and A Song Of Ice & Fire on a subreddit chiefly concerned with getting girls. Why? Because I follow my own advice.

The goal here is not to change yourself into some sarcastic douchebag who only thinks about getting laid. The goal here is to change yourself into the kind of you that people (you included) enjoy being around; that's the principle of it, the keystone; everything else is just learning how to express the outward result of that inner growth.

Learning how to make flirty eye contact and escalate kino will help you get laid. It will not make you happy or fulfilled; that's on you.

I started out writing this for you, and ended up writing it for me, too. If any piece of it doesn't make sense, I'll expand on it if you ask.

jewiger · 2012-09-06T05:07:02+00:00

You have to change yourself into your best self. Your perception of yourself can vary from a WoW playing, out of shape, unconfident nerd to a sharp looking, lean, social, womanizing machine. If you don't choose to be the latter than no you wont get women. It doesn't even have to be these qualities in the latter, however something that shows your best side and is attractive to others.

HelloHiHello · 2012-09-06T02:53:15+00:00

You don't have to change yourself at all. You only have to remember who you really are.

Just Be Yourself

2012-09-06T02:54:15+00:00

Hitting the gym/bodybuilding is the core to everything successful -mentally and physically- related to women and I don't care what others say about "your body is not that important". Yeah, if you are willing to go out of your way and pretend to be someone you are not, it works for one night stands, but I'm not so sure about it working if you want a real relationship.

kazagistar · 2012-09-06T08:18:51+00:00

The game fits itself to you. You might go off in some weird fake direction for a bit, but the whole point is you learn to take who you are, and go somewhere better with it.

Watch Keys to the VIP sometime, and see how different people do game differently. The technique is always similar, but the "feel" and "theme" are their own.

Edit: Just don't watch it too much, cause you would do better sarging.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-09-06T14:16:45+00:00

Become the type of person that you would want to date. Would you date you?

CriminalMinded · 2012-09-06T14:40:25+00:00

ClawShrimpSlayer is pretty spot on. To me, it's not just being myself, but being the best possible me that I can be. (Holy shit I reread that and it's so cliche my penis almost fell off. But it still stands.)

EtovNowd · 2012-09-06T15:02:16+00:00

A lot.

Because everything you are has lead you to this point in life. If you were confident with women, you wouldn't have even heard of 'seduction'.

I don't want to put off this obviously not genuine "slick rick" persona or act as some baller or total flirt when I really am not.

What you're really doing is changing your internal belief system. Most people think they're not 'worthy' of XYZ. Most guys on seddit think they're not worthy of getting girls. Once you change that belief you begin to 'be yourself' except that your self has changed into this new individual in which you believe you do deserve XYZ.

I dont want to have to always wear different clothes, change my voice, change my sense of humor, change my mannerisms, walk differently, and basically do a 180 in order to "seduce" women.

All this does is simply make you think outside the box, and show you that they way you dress attracts different type of people. Think about it, if you dressed goth, you'd get more goth girls. Dress hipster, get hipster girls. Etc. Most guys on seddit don't really pay attention to how they dress, and so dressing differently helps you define who you want to be. Basically, do you want to be a gray moth or a colorful butterfly? It's up to you, this stuff is simply showing you that you have an option.

I just don't want to have to be something I want to be, but clearly am not.

You become what you think you are. Think differently, and you'll be different.

2012-09-06T17:57:23+00:00

More than you hope, less than you expect.

paulgualtieri · 2012-09-07T04:04:27+00:00

It's about being a more confident and sociable version of yourself. You'll like the changes, even aside from the getting laid part. And you're still you, just a better version of you. "Being yourself" doesn't mean never ever changing or improving. What kind of life would that be, total stasis?

Title	How much do I have to change myself for "the game"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	September 6, 2012 1:29 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zfc6s/how_much_do_i_have_to_change_myself_for_the_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-do-i-have-to-change-myself-for-the-game.1338789 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338789

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