There's no material on dating, what the fuck are you supposed to do on dates?

barnypua · 2012-09-14T20:23:38+00:00

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stunspore · 2012-09-14T23:19:49+00:00

I also never know what to talk about.

so what do I do? I take her to places/stores with lots of stuff inside that I am interested in and talk about those things when were browsing around.

comic shops, board games, music stores (share a pair of headphones listening to records), try on ugly clothing in a second hand shop, go to a candy store, a petting zoo, an animal sanctuary, hell i bring girls to the family farm. I am an idiot when it comes to thinking of things to say... but say inside a comic shop, theres doctor who, jthm, filler bunny, warhammer, astroboy, old sailormoon stuff... each thing i could talk about at length

I dont get when guys say "I don't know what to say" friggin talk about what you want and surround your brain with things you are interested in. bring her into your world and be charismatic and excited to show it to her.

date ideas are easy for me... highschool chump days were spent daydreaming of bringing the hot girls to all the places i love. when it came time to grow up and experience the real world i tested all the ideas i had. some of course are complete garbage lol

im on my phone right now, but ill throw together a huge post on dates and send you a pm when its done. deal?

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-09-14T23:57:05+00:00

As there really isn't a set guide on how to date. Here's a few rules I follow.

Date Formula Find Something Fun to Do + Dinner + Walk = Great Date.

What I mean when I say find something fun to do I mean, What is something YOU would find fun. IE Sports Game, Comedy Show, Movie, Paintball, Ect.

On the FIRST-SECOND date, avoid things that would discourage social interaction between the two of you. IE Movies & Comedy Shows. This will give you time to "Get to know" one another.

Second Get something to eat, because nobody is happy when they are hungry. ABSOLUTELY AVOID THIS QUESTION "Where would you like to eat?" Have a place in mind, and take her there. Play it safe with a steakhouse first until you get to know what her favorite foods are.

Third Walk, It means take the time to either go for a walk, go to a bar for drinks, going for a drive. This will allow the two of you to wind down, and have some quality time together. Generally some action could occur during this time as well. Don't force it.

I follow this formula, takes about 10-15 minuets to plan usually and shows the girl that you're decisive. Girls like decision makers. Also the best part is that you can stop the date at any time without much loss if you two aren't enjoying yourselves.

Next what to talk about. The first thing is to listen more than you talk. Ask her about herself, then react to what she is talking about. Throw in a few jokes and don't be afraid to look stupid because you can always laugh off something embarrassing. Any girl worth dating will have a sense of humor.

TRY to engage her on her level. Some people are smart, some are stupid. If you ACTUALLY LISTEN to what they say and how they speak you'll pick up on where they are mentally really fast. Next, don't be afraid to tease her a little and laugh when she makes jokes.

Conversation should be natural and flowing. Tit-for-tat as they say. Good questions to ask that you'll learn a lot about the other person.

"Where did you grow up?" "Tell me about your family." "What's you're favorite bar story." "Have you traveled a lot?" if so "Tell me your best story from the road."

Remember the point is to keep the questions open, so that they can lead to her telling you stories. You then relate to those stories with stories of your own. Keep it light, tell some jokes, laugh genuinely. A girl who is about as interesting to talk to as a board, then she's probably not worth taking on multiple dates.

thatsunfortunat3 · 2012-09-14T20:11:39+00:00

well, ive messed this up several times. Ive said WAY too much on a first date (or even a 2nd, 3rd). Ive definitely learned that you can find things to talk about without going to those "no-no" places. now of course this depends how close you want to get and how fast you want to get there. I would avoid politics, asking about sex/past rships, and asking about childhoods off the bat. however....ask about their friends (most people have friends right? dont ask about family right away unless you know there isnt some screwed up situation there) what their favorite thing to do is (ask lots about that) compliment them (this helps set it apart as being more than a friends encounter) and as the dude, probably paying for it helps make it clear its a "date" (in most cases, unless youre a confusing ass dude. hate that) I think the first date should be lighthearted. You can get "close" without going into someone's deepest secrets. I mean, I would ask about hobbies/interests/goals in life. actually, goals in life can be a really great topic if you can get her going on that because 1. its positive and 2. you might be able to relate about what you want out of life. and thats always good.

barnypua · 2012-09-14T20:49:30+00:00

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avonv · 2012-09-15T05:13:24+00:00

there is no definitive guide to dating, and nothing should be scripted - but that is not to say you should not put some time and thought into planning it.

dating is about discovering different things:

1. how you two interact together 2. details about the other 3. something new about the world together

great dates have elements of all three of these, and you walk away from it happy that you shared that experience with that person. ideally, if you are both having fun together, everything else should just be natural. never, ever, pry into her personal life right away. follow a conversational gradient before you get into any serious affairs (and i'd even advise against bringing those out too soon).

keep it light, and fun. think of it like this - will this date be worth remembering? hopefully there was something really funny that happened in it (so you can always laugh about it with her after), something fun that happened in it (you went to an awesome show or had an awesome dinner), and something memorable that happened in it (like a kiss).

be selfish on your dates and do things that you want to do. you will always come off more passionate and enthusiastic, as well as more interesting to her. try new things and it will make you better. show her that you are better than other men with your actions, never your words, and this will carry you far.

wtjones · 2012-09-15T12:10:25+00:00

Make a list of 25 things that you want in a woman (adventurous, sexy, etc.). Use this list as a cheat sheet for things to do or talk about on a date. Don't turn it into an interview. This list should act as things to be interested about.

Manly_Cutted_Flowers · 2012-09-15T14:19:20+00:00

OP! Thank you for making this thread. This is exactly what I'm going through right now too. Based on how you describe yourself, I can say that we are pretty much the same (eg. naturally cocky and funny etc.)

I have been seeing this girl for 1 month now and I feel like we haven't made any deep connection. I'm also having the exact problems that you have. Since we have the same classes in every subject at our uni, I sometimes try to avoid her because I ran out of things to say. I also try to avoid talking about relationships, ex's and etc..

2012-09-15T02:58:19+00:00

Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is a good start http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

playfulpenis · 2012-09-15T20:18:47+00:00

You sound angry. Calm down, dude.

Snake0987654321 · 2012-09-15T04:19:06+00:00

Dude. Just fucking talk to her, be friendly and cool and don't say anything retarded and don't freak the fuck out about the outcome. Dates are NOT rocket science.

MARSpu · 2012-09-14T20:36:39+00:00

There's no material on dates? What are you talking about? Sit next to her and escalate physically while talking about intimate subjects. Geez.

Title	There's no material on dating, what the fuck are you supposed to do on dates?
Author	barnypua
Upvotes	51
Comments	32
Date	September 14, 2012 7:56 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zw5c5/theres_no_material_on_dating_what_the_fuck_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/theres-no-material-on-dating-what-the-fuck-are-you.1339301 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339301

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