How do you deal with people that just want to leech off you?

l33r · 2012-09-20T17:25:05+00:00

Don't invite them to hangout.

centurijon · 2012-09-20T18:36:32+00:00

How do I deal with them ~~without being a dick~~?

Just be a dick.

If you don't gain anything from them being around (including general friendship) then you have no need for them in your life. There's no requirement for you to be nice to everyone, just be nice to the people that you genuinely enjoy being around.

puntingbaxter · 2012-09-20T17:38:39+00:00

Free handouts as in what? You buying them drinks/paying for everything? If you talk about guys being AFCs when they come out with you, that can actually help. You then become the leader of the group and women are attracted to that.

oderint_dum_metuant · 2012-09-20T17:40:15+00:00

Give an example of these so called leeches.

2012-09-20T19:28:21+00:00

I usually just ignore them. If it gets to be a big enough problem just tell them to fuck off.

Knight_of_Malta · 2012-09-20T21:12:36+00:00

First off there is nothing ridiculous or conceited about pruning useless people from your social sphere. If anyone told you that, then they can go die in a fucking fire. Frankly it sounds like the kind of thing that a redditor said, that all people should be treated equal and you should just give all your time and effort away to folks for some kind of cosmic preppy karma counter. That is bullshit. Weak and undisciplined people can fuck right off.

Second, you tell them that you are 'not interested in staying in touch with' them anymore. That's it. Stop returning their calls, stop calling them. When they ask to borrow your lawnmower, tell them no. If they ask why, tell them it's non of their business. End of discussion.

Third, if they try to nitpick you or ask you 'why you are being this way' you have to look them in the eye and say "it is my time/property/money/life/party/vehicle (etc), and I don't have to justify my decisions regarding it to anyone. Ever. Mind your own business."

It took me 7 years to realize these truths, so I know it sounds harsh. I had a guy who looked me back in the eye and tried to tell me it was his business, and somehow got a whole room of people to agree with him. Don't let it get that bad. Cut the cord after the first moochey action you witness from them. If they aren't self sufficient and autonomous, they are bad for you.

Do not trick yourself into thinking that they will grow out of it, or you will be better friends, or that they are in a phase, or that it would somehow be easier to cut them off in the future. Moochers escalate, it is all they can be counted on to do. They just want their next fix, no matter what it is (doesn't have to be drugs: couch to sleep on, a meal, a cigarette, a party, social attention, whatever).

Believe me, you can't let anyone even remotely manipulative, any user at all, into your social sphere. If that shrinks your sphere by a considerable magnitude, then so be it. In the end you have to stick up for your own agenda. No one else is going to, and you have no right to expect other people to grow up. They will be that way forever, and it's their own fault.

I you don't have the self respect to grasp your life by the horns the way you should have done before it got bad enough to ask a bigoted and prejudiced internet board for help, then ask yourself: What would a free man do about it?

Then go do that thing.

budguy68 · 2012-09-20T20:23:55+00:00

read book, no more mr nice guy

itsmevichet · 2012-09-20T18:50:25+00:00

Answer: I don't.

What's keeping you from not dealing with them?

Title	How do you deal with people that just want to leech off you?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	September 20, 2012 5:23 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1079a3/how_do_you_deal_with_people_that_just_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-people-that-just-want-to.1339768 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339768

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