Hey guys.

I've been doing direct approaches on and off for about 4 or 5 months now I've done probably 35-40 in total by now. I did one on my way to work today that really hit the nail on the head for me.

Before I did the HB9.5 approach, I had actually just finished approaching another cute girl, talked with her for a couple minutes, and gave her my card telling her to add me on facebook (which she since has). So I was feeling pretty good already going in.

Part 1:

I was walking across the street with a cup of coffee in my hand around 5:00 and I caught eye-contact with her with her for a couple seconds as she was standing at the street corner waiting to cross. I actually walked right past her, and had to give myself a 10 second prep talk to convince myself to man up and do it. "It's right there Ollie, just because you already did one doesn't mean you shouldn't go for another!"

As she was standing still, I walked pretty much directly in front of her a couple feet away and said

Me: Hey, I saw you when I was crossing the street just now and thought you were waaaaay too cute for me to not come say hi to.

Her: (gives a huge smile) ahahaha, thanks so much!

Me: Hi, my name is Ollie. (reaches out to shake hand)

Her: Nice to meet you ollie!

Me: You too. God you really have a cute smile...(she smiles and bats her eyelashes at me, giggling quietly) So what brings you here to Dufferin and Finch today?

Her: I work just over at (Random pub) over there.

Me: Oh really? I work just down the street at the telemarketing place!

Her: Cool! You should come by for a drink after you're done!

Me: I might just do that. What was your name again?

Her: Sarah.

Me: Well Sarah, it was lovely meeting you!

Her: You too Ollie! (we give each other a hug goodbye)

PART 2:

I finished my work shift at 9:15 and decided I was gonna go back and get her number before I hopped on the bus. I walked over to the pub and came in the front. I waited for her to notice me.

Her: (begins walking to me) Hey Ollie! How was work?

Me: Hey Sarah! Not too bad. How've things been here?

Her: Ah, just a slow night.

Me: Yeah. (mockingly) Fucking monday night man! Time to go and get smashed!

Her: Yeah, exactly! So...Do you want to get a drink?

Me: (Leaned in a bit closer, quieter voice) Come on Sarah, you know what I really want. (pull out my phone to give to her)

Her: (She smiles) Okay, sure!

Just then, a couple customers walk in, I tell her to go seat them. She touches my arm and says "I'll be right back". She comes back thirty seconds later, rips off a piece of receipt paper and writes her number down and gives it to me.

Me: Okay, so just a quick question: If I text you, you're actually gonna write back, right?

Her: Yeah, of course! I don't have my phone with me here but I'll have it when I get home.

Me: Okay. And if for some crazy reason I asked you on a date (she laughs) you're actually gonna gonna be fun to hang out with and not be boring, right?

Her: No way! Trust me!

Me: Okay, cool. Well it was nice meeting you Sarah. (gave her a hug and left)

Man, I was feeling pretty on top of the world. I could NEVER have done that half a year ago! So what are the things that went right here?

ANALYSIS/LESSONS:

Outer Game:

  • I was happy with the opener. Despite the fact that I may have been a bit closer than I should have been, the boldness of my action and my casual, calm demeanor made her feel comfortable in her space. I could tell because she didn't move back or break eye-contact.

  • While it could be argued that I was over-complimenting, I would say that I was confident in complimenting her just as much as I did. It felt like the perfect amount to me, and that made me congruent and solid when I did it.

  • On the second meeting, there were a couple of things I noticed that worked in my favor. One is that she remembered my name right away, which meant I'd made an impression. The second was giving her a 4 hour break between to let meeting me sink in. Which it must have considering the name memory. The third was her touching my arm when she walked to the table, showing me that there was interest. She wouldn't have if she was disinterested.

  • There was an appropriate amount of kino and physicality in the interaction. I stayed close and leaned in at certain moments to reinforce intimacy and just did small things like giver her a hug goodbye to break physical boundaries.

  • I broke her balls a bit after I got her number. This was for a bunch of reasons. I hate getting flaked on, so I try to put it in someone's head "write him back!" Also, by asking her if she'll be fun on a date, it subconsciously puts her in that scenario of us on a date together.

Inner Game:

  • You HAVE to pull the trigger. As much as you can, and then some. Know that gut-clenching feeling of adrenaline you get when you know you want to approach/say a certain thing/do a certain action, but have excuses why not to? You need to rewire yourself to know that the feeling is there to tell you it's the RIGHT thing to do, and that you need to act on it THEN.

  • Do whatever feels right in the moment! Literally, say whatever's on your mind. Why did I say she had a cute smile? I dunno, just because I wanted to really. SO why withhold it if it feels right? You need to let your honest self shine through you, and one way you do that is by not filtering your thoughts so much.

  • Practice game in NATURAL scenarios. I've actually found it much harder to do an approach when I go out for the SAKE of approaching. It feels disingenuous. And for me, one of my most valued qualities is being honest and genuine, so it kills my game when I'm not. I like to do my approaches while going about my day to day life.

  • I really believed that whatever action I was doing was the right action. I sucked her into my reality, and she accepted it because I was sure in my actions.

  • I didn't misdirect my intent. I went to talk to her because I wanted to get her number, not because I wanted to order a beer. So that's what I told her.

I can only wait to see where things go from here. Thanks for reading guys!

TL;DR: Direct approached an HB9.5 on the street, she invited me to come get a drink at her bar/work after I was done my shift. Saw her 4 hours later, got her number. Be honest, show intent, be congruent, be bold!