Clear intent vs neediness

rmbarnes · 2013-05-12T16:08:21+00:00

The difference between intent and neediness stems from mindset.

Neediness: when you want to get the girl because doing so will validate that you are an attractive guy.

Intent: when you want the girl simply for either the pleasure of her company or the pleasure of fucking her (or both). Whether you get her or not has no bearing on your self esteem.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-05-12T16:50:20+00:00

There is a difference between gratification and fulfillment. Neediness is just a desperate urge for gratification, based on a perception of deprivation. Fulfillment comes from an authentic expression of our Self, based on a perception of abundance.

Techniq_ · 2013-05-12T19:25:52+00:00

Just want to clarify that you state your intentions AFTER you qualify her for your affections.

If probably feels funny because its not the proper play at the appropriate stage of the game.

Instead, you can start to qualify....

ask her qualifying questions, and when she responds positively and qualifies herself to you, NOW you can give her a compliment on her smile. She's now worked for it, and feels its more genuinely earned.

Bait her to chase YOU. its easier that way.

NotSpartacus · 2013-05-12T20:15:42+00:00

Last week i told a girl that she has a really nice smile, but when i said it something just did not feel right. I felt like i was giving off a nice guy vibe

Probably because you thought about it too much or tensed up when you said it. If you're comfortable enough you can get away with saying almost anything.

_Origin · 2013-05-12T15:48:10+00:00

You don't tell her. You show it using your body.

drole_ · 2013-05-12T17:59:53+00:00

How do you express your intent in an alpha way?

You stop expressing intent and start leading instead.

2013-05-13T02:33:15+00:00

For a compliment to "work," it has to appear genuine. To appear genuine, it should appear both spontaneous and "earned." Earned, meaning, it is something the girl is particularly proud of or something that she tries to get others (like you) to notice. The compliment is simply you verbalizing that you noticed.

jimmyayo · 2013-05-13T05:54:13+00:00

rmbarnes and throwaway already said good stuff, i'll just tack on my 2 cents.

"Hey, you have a really nice smile."

It can be said because you're an attractive, honest, value-giving man and want a girl to feel good about herself, with no expectation or outcome dependency.

Or it can be said because you're trying to get her to like you.

Same words, but the mentality behind it will show whether you're being needy or not.

2013-05-13T07:53:05+00:00

there are some good replies, but the gist of it is are you giving value or taking value from her? if you have abundance of woemn, then you can't help but not be needy. you wont' give a fuck, because you know at the end of the day you have a few other chicks you can go bang, bcause you're a rad dude. she can take it or leave it

MrADHD · 2013-05-12T18:09:46+00:00

read: Models by:Mark Manson

you need to step out of the box, and this book, an easy read will help

Look you told her you think she has a nice smile, that means you are putting yourself out there, that's whats important. Now run with it, be "out there" be available to get hurt, that's what women like

2013-05-12T17:09:57+00:00

Touch.

super_mustard · 2013-05-13T00:00:23+00:00

It's all about push pull. For example say "I like your smile, but don't get any ideas I'm not that easy"

Title	Clear intent vs neediness
Author	koochkooch
Upvotes	21
Comments	15
Date	May 12, 2013 12:37 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e6i8d/clear_intent_vs_neediness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/clear-intent-vs-neediness.1352164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352164

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