Do you guys believe in the "ladder theory"?

donit · 2013-09-21T13:50:34+00:00

I think there's a much bigger difference between friend ladder and friends ladder. If there's one girl you're attracted to, just becoming her friend (and not making other girls friends) will permanently friendzone you. But, if you stack friendzone girls and get them to hang out with you at the same time, then they will begin to compete with each other, and that will cause them to become romanticly involved with you.

And worst case is you end up with a stack of girls, which will cause other girls to throw themselves at you.

anonagent · 2013-09-21T14:37:56+00:00

I don't agree with any of those theories, My theory is that a woman will have sex with anyone so long as you make her happy and flirt, although that's probably not much better.

Jessie_James · 2013-09-21T13:01:52+00:00

I'll put this as simply as I can:

If you don't ask a woman out on a date within a relatively short time of meeting her, you are putting yourself in friend zone with her. You have to make your intentions clear by having the confidence to ask her out.

If she doesn't want to date you, then YOU can friendzone HER.

And yes, you can hook up with female friends, but the problem many women have with this is they see you as being dishonest if that was your only intention from the start.

pandcman · 2013-09-21T11:57:58+00:00

I think you're more on the right track. As you get older, the line between friend zone and attractive/lover zone become blurred.

TheAtomicOption · 2013-09-21T15:42:26+00:00

In a word: No.

I used to and I think it fucked with my head a bit too. But as I've learned more about what causes it in the first place, I stopped. It's true guys put themselves in a friendzone, and even if/when they learn a little game later, they're rarely able to get themselves out. But this has nothing to do with the girl deciding "oh, him and me have become friends and so therefore I'll never fuck him no matter what." When girls say this, they're just acknowledging that they've never seen a guy change. Most guys don't. If a guy does change, he's basically a different guy, and therefore (possibly) datable.

I think the biggest reason men can't transition even after learning some game is that when they're around female friends, the old patterns of behavior come back immediately. They haven't internalized their game yet, but they go running back after that one girl anyway with these pickup lines they just learned. They fall into their old roles in the friendship with the same power dynamics and the same status disparity. At best the guy is a little funnier, but he hasn't started doing things that make her feel differently.

So how do you get out of the friendzone? First, you've got to get your head right. Follow the advice of every coach ever and start fucking other people. You should be SOooo busy dating other girls that you rarely have time for Friendzone Girl anymore. Treat her like you treat your other old friends that you see once or twice every couple of months.

Given enough time apart, as you improve your game and yourself elsewhere, the learned roles that you had with each other will weaken. If you've really changed, she'll see that fairly quickly when you meet again. It's still an uphill battle. She'll probably be a bit puzzled because most people don't change much. But if you've really changed, her poking to prove to herself that the new you is a facade will be no problem for you. That's when you'll finally have a chance to break out of your role as her puppy and actually be interesting to her.

2013-09-21T21:57:15+00:00

I'd like to start a shop selling confidence. It would come in trail size, regular size, and king size. Man I'd be so rich.

edbenz · 2013-09-22T07:37:11+00:00

Every girl thinks differently, you can't just categorize all girls as thinking this way. Being friends with a girl is a good way to get her guard down if she is not looking to be seduced, then you strike when she has a moment of vulnerability.

idash · 2013-09-21T14:25:13+00:00

I think women divide men into two categories. These categories being 'Men they could have sex with' and 'Men they will never, ever have sex with'. In my experience it is very, very hard for a man to leave the 'never, ever' group once you've made it there, but making it to that group from the 'could have' group is very easy. All you have to do is be a douche, like you are being, right now.

SchmonstersExist · 2013-09-21T12:21:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Do you guys believe in the "ladder theory"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	21
Date	September 21, 2013 10:46 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mtyoq/do_you_guys_believe_in_the_ladder_theory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-guys-believe-in-the-ladder-theory.1358743 https://theredarchive.com/post/1358743

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