I've been meaning to write this for some time because I always answer questions and guide people through their text game with a lot of success but it's a pain writing it over and over. A quick background on me: I got into PUA a couple of years ago after breaking up with a long term girlfriend. While I can easily go do night/day game with success I have felt my strongest point was text game. I can think of at least 3 cases that I pulled a number and f-closed during our next meetup with minimal effort because I planted all the seeds through our text conversations.

Many in the community believe that text game should be limited to setting up dates but I disagree with this philosophy. Women around my age (I'm 22 but I feel this applies to 25 and younger) grew up with texting/aim/facebook messaging and to many of them, it is as viable a form of communication as any other. Utilizing these tools properly can dramatically improve your game but be wary because if you fall into the common mistakes of text game it can be counterproductive. My style of text game is good for keeping her attraction up between meeting and first date regardless of whether it's a day or a week and in many cases, has the added effect of building attraction rather than just maintaining it.

I also ask that if you are of the "only text to set up dates" mindset, you don't downvote this solely because you don't agree with the underlying philosophy. If you have real issues with what I'm offering up, that's fine and I'd love to hear them There are as many styles as there are people in PUA and this guide is meant to help those who want to try this style out.

I spent a little while debating how to organize this but I feel it's best explained as a "dos and don'ts" post so here it goes :)

Do

  • Keep your texts light and fun. Serious conversations should be saved for dates. Generally, random questions and topics are the way to go

  • Keep her engaged. Before sending a text, ask yourself if it elicits a one word response or not. If it does, reconsider what you're saying

  • Follow her texting speed. If she is responding instantly to you, don't be afraid to do so yourself. If she is responding every 15 minutes or so, wait a couple of minutes. It's all about symmetry (the same concept as mirroring her body language in a conversation). If she is consistently slow to respond, try to move towards setting up a date sooner because your text conversations will be shorter and therefore have a more limited effect. If she responds quickly, you don't have to rush it allowing you to wait for a good setup to setting up your date.

  • Get flirty! The biggest misconception is that you can't build rapport and attraction through a text. This is just not true! Obviously, don't go so far as to be sexting but light inuendos and witty/subtle comments can go a long way

  • Reference discussions from when you first met her. If she mentioned she likes spongebob that night you met her at the bar, start the conversation by wishing her a happy lief erikson day. It shows her you were paying attention, adding to your rapport.

  • Use smilies! This may sound silly but it's the closest thing to body language you have and makes a huge difference. :P means you're messing around. ;) is great when paired with inuendos. :) after you compliment her or she compliments you is nice. o.O when you're confused about something she said. Play around with them but just don't over do it. One per text and try not to use the same one over and over in the same conversation

  • Eventually move the conversation towards meeting up. That's obviously the whole point, right?

Do Not

  • Send walls of text. Your texts should be short, sweet, and to the point. No one wants to read a book in sms form

  • Express strong feelings. They can be very easily misconstrued because there is no body language to help her understand where you're coming from. This means don't confess your love for her, don't talk about how much you hate your coworker, etc.

  • Talk about "standard" topics. If you ask her "what's up", "how is your day going?", or any similar questions, she's going to get bored fast and you'll notice how quickly the conversation dies. Most guys who text her, send her these types of questions so you won't stand out and she'll get bored fast

  • Text her every day. You can text her multiple days in a row but don't text her every day of the week. In fact, if you initiated conversation Monday and Tuesday, wait until Thursday afternoon to text her about making plans on the weekend and see if she texts you first. If you're doing this right, she will

  • Text her one word answers or statements that can't be easily followed up on. How is she supposed to respond to "yeah" or "I know right?"

  • Try to carry a conversation that is fading. If your interesting/random topic is done and you're moving towards a conversation that will be the standard "so how's your day going," bail. When she thinks of texting you she should only think of how fun it is

I will likely edit this as I think of things but feel free to ask questions so I can elaborate in places that may be unclear. For those of you into online dating, this can all be applied there as well. For those of you that have read this far, I hope this helps you. This method will dramatically reduce flake rates and increase the quality of your dates through what truly is minimal effort. I also love hearing about how things go after I help people, so feel free to message me with feedback and let me know how this is working out for you :)