Tips for being an effective wingman?

Zack_Fair_ · 2014-08-30T19:40:10+00:00

yeah that's a pretty terrible way to wing; remember you want to sell your friend, not yourself.

the most recent post about winging was in response to a request similar to yours; here it is

typically you'll be trying to give your friend and his target as much 1on1-time as possible by distracting the distractions as it were. and you can take care of lots of little things: buy them drinks/shots , increase your friend's value (subtly!) , open a set ( great for shy friends), etc. etc. remember the (imo) most important rule of being a wingman: you can't score for your friend, there are some things he is going to have to do at some point that are out of your control. ultimately your friend is going to have to seduce

cewbren · 2014-08-30T20:55:25+00:00

I'm much better at winging than I actually am at gaming (not ideal but that's life).

Anyways, what I tend to do is gauge the situation of the group (sociopathic advice incoming). If there's a large group of girls (I count that as more than 4) and my friend is into one of them (usually one of the hotter ones), I will try and engage the undesired ones but not game them at all. I will forcibly throw in errors that would destroy any attraction whilst not being obtuse and causing them to think my poor social skills correlates to my wings social skills. Basically be the friendly face that they can relate to when your friend tries to take them home and they will be reassured that because you are ok, he will be ok.

If I notice he is struggling to engage his "target" (hate using that term as it makes it sound like a fucking military operation but couldn't think of anything better) I may gently bring him out of isolation with the girl for a short time and back into the group (I know seddit probably simultaneously grimaced at this thought but hear me out) to provide some social value by subtly, and I mean subtly, raising his social value whilst keeping mine at the same level or slightly lowering mine before letting them into isolation again.

With smaller groups (2-4), you really don't have as much work to do and these are basically "keep potentially interested fatties away from wing" situations. The amount of times I've become too relaxed and forgot to switch off game habits when trying to keep fatties away only to have them pursue me is worrying.

EggplantPower · 2014-08-30T21:59:18+00:00

As the wingman, you must make sure that rest of the group is focused on you and that they are having fun, while your buddy is somewhere else with one of the girls in the group, having a deeper connection with her. Since you are not looking for any sexual relationship with the group, it doesn't really matter if they love you or just like you, therefor, do not make any overly risky jokes and don't go over the top. Lets say that there is a scale of 1-10 describing how much the group likes you, 1 being "This guy is a jerk! We hate him!" and 10 being "This guy is our new best friend!". Obviously you would want them to like you as much as possible, but that takes many risks that you cannot afford. Every time you approach the scale starts somewhere around 5 and can move up and down while the interaction is going. If it goes below 2.5 they will probably leave, and getting it above 7.5 takes risks that may or may not drop the scale to below that. So what you want to do is to have a safe, yet not boring interaction with the group. Make sure that the scale is staying as high as possible so they don't want to leave. Remember, if by the end of the interaction one of the friends grabbed your friend's girl and walked a way... You failed as a wingman. And as a human being. But mostly as a wingman.

whatwhatwtf · 2014-08-31T04:36:24+00:00

I am going to go counter to the groupthink here and say NO = he shouldn't need your help. I have met thousands of people facilitated hundreds of interactions and most of the time the guys always let them fizzle out and more importantly — Because of winging my girlfriend at the time who later became my wife initially said she was cool with it got jealous and was always jealous eventually ruining the relationship.

You can be a good friend. You can say things like you should give him your number. You can facilitate interactions easily with openings, introductions, it is very easy to master under the context as a wingman. But in reality your only job as a wingman is to be a cool friend - you can be cool and mellow or cool and interesting or whatever, that is it. The best way you can help anyone and everyone is to just be a fun guy out having fun.

And a lot of wing etiquette is going to be affected by the demographics of your group — certain guys will try to poach your girls like starving bears on a salmon, others will bore the girls away, but if you have any skills it will eventually do more harm than good; few of them will get better.

In the end they'll expect you to open, you to initiate, and will drop the girl on you expecting you to take over and perform some hoodoo voodoo when they've floundered. Take cockblocking for example, me jumping on the bitchy friend who can't get laid is not going to help, your buddy has to take care of it via the girl he is interested in. Otherwise, more often than not she'll just über-bitch and ruin the interaction early.

SunshineBlind · 2014-09-01T19:51:18+00:00

Depends on the situation. Your main job is to make your friend seem good, but he still has to put in the work. Another thing you should do, if needed, is to kep her friends at bay. Amuse them with stories and stuff while your friend maintains cobtact with the girl. :)

GoldmundUnleashed · 2014-08-31T00:50:46+00:00

The easiest and most effective way I have found when winging is just going up to a girl and saying "I want to introduce you to my friend, he's the best fooseball player in the entire city" and then bring him over.

Make anything up, it's better if its true of course, but start with a complement. Then when they get to talking, bounce, or deflect possible cockblockers.

glitch0 · 2014-08-31T03:59:58+00:00

Your one and only job is to keep obstacles occupied and not exceed his escalation level (preferably match it), keep the spotlight on the guy. Done.

ICEFARMER · 2014-08-31T03:01:59+00:00

Recently experienced this for myself. Out with the boys and winged for a friend. I made it known very quickly that I was married by dropping the "my wife" into the conversations early. It made me more approachable in several ways. First, they assumed I wasn't looking to hook up (I wasn't) and became very open. Essentially I made it obvious I wasn't interested in fucking them so they were very open, flirty and talkative with me. Secondly, there was that bit of natural competitiveness where they always seemed to want to compare themselves with my out with the girls wife. Lastly, with some I became a challenge that they couldn't have and 2 were actively interested in me for the night. This all worked to wing for my friend bc I was able to have really fun, witty conversation and steer it different ways bc I was never a threat.

Basically, my girl was my in for conversation. And my friend and I played it off that way. "Don't worry, you'll meet an awesome woman someday, too. Then you'll be old and boring juuuust like me." Few things make a woman want yo talk to you more than being and interesting funny guy that they have no chance with. It also helps that my friend has massive game and we can play off each other perfectly.

I was also an intercept for unwanted attention. I distracted the nay saying friends, occupied the other guys, and kept his semi stalker away as well. This allowed him to talk to the ones he was interested in more 1-on-1. I kept the party going when he was busy by playing games, having drinks, toasting, I also tried to hoot up one of the girls with a different guy which was fun, hilarious and so,some successful. It kept the group occupied with something else while my friend ran his game.

Also, the classic touch, I wore a classic Batman tshirt and introduced myself as Bruce. My name is not Bruce. Most just went along. Those that didn't believe me I replied with "so?" Or "and?" and good fun was had by all. Batman is a great conversation starter.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-08-31T04:30:48+00:00

"Have you met my friend [insert]?"

Title	Tips for being an effective wingman?
Author	Manawah
Upvotes	21
Comments	11
Date	August 30, 2014 7:18 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2f0ynb/tips_for_being_an_effective_wingman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-for-being-an-effective-wingman.1375768 https://theredarchive.com/post/1375768

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