A story with a moral: this girl suddenly lost all interest in me.

pzonee · 2014-10-21T02:58:54+00:00

I needed this....I just started talking to a real nice girl about a week ago, we've hung out a few times and it's all been great. All of a sudden she's been completely disinterested, hopefully some good will come with a little patience.

2014-10-21T10:54:01+00:00

YES man, this is something that we sometimes don't think about.

I remember this chick and I hit it off during the first week of class about two years ago. She gave me her number we talked, flirted, etc etc and then a few days in she just cut me off. I did the Manson approach, before I read models luckily, and told her, listen I don't know what happened, but I respect your decision of trying to cut me off. I hope everythings okay and if you want to talk, just shoot me a text.

Turns out her mom died, she called me over that night. We talked it through, she said she liked me so much, but he family needed her for a few days. I spent some time with her, trying to understand how it feels like to lose a mother, maybe I could learn something from her.

Anyways we ended up dating for so long man. I was glad I didn't go crazy like " you stupid bitch why you wasting my time" etc.

Wepa im so high right now

austenpro · 2014-10-21T06:15:19+00:00

As much as we all like to think, you're not in control most of the time. Lead a happy life independent from relationships with girls and it'll not only make you a happier man, but more attractive.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-10-21T06:23:17+00:00

I had a girl stop talking to me after i really thought it was going somewhere. I was infatuated with this girl, and we really started connecting on a deep level and sharing stuff about each other, and after a month or two of oscillating between does she or doesnt she like me, i made a move and we started hooking up. She didn't want a relationship, but she wanted to be exclusive, which seemed odd to me. Still, I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment because i knew i did everything right, all according to stuff ive learned off this sub. This happened like two more times, but then out of the blue she started makinf excuses as to why she didnt wanna hang out. Shed obviously make stuff up, and recently she just stopped replying mid conversation. I was pissed and hurt and all that dumb stuff, but then today i saw her without make up accross campus (as shallow as that sounds) and i realized theres no reason for her to have a hold on me. Im great, people like me generally, and i knew i did everything i could. I was no longer caught up, i saw that it was her loss. I resolved to stop texting her, stop caring about what happens, and to live my own life. I still find myself thinking about her, but i know im going in the right direction. Also it helps that i recently started sexting this other girl who, while is a more recent relationship, obviously digs me and who i am, and i dont feel like i have to pretend to be an arty person im not. While your story had a better outcome, i think the moral of the story is the same. Ya gotta keep your internal shit organized, cause whatevers going on, that's someone elses deal and not yours.

UncleVicVic · 2014-10-21T03:10:28+00:00

If someone doesn't text back I just assume they're overwhelmed at how fuckin awesome I am.

But seriously, good point that slips my mind sometimes. Everything's not in your control and don't always assume the worst. Thanks, OP.

Lindofrindo · 2014-10-21T14:21:13+00:00

I've been seeing a girl lately and thoughts like this has gone through my head. I was unsure if I did something wrong or not, when actually all of these small "mistakes" you think you did to fuck things up actually don't mean jack shit.

Turned out everything was okay and we had another date together. You need to assume everything is okay, act like that and don't act like something is wrong. If you believe something is wrong, this will become your reality which will make her notice and she will be put off by your neediness etc.

Great points :)

ohsweetword · 2014-10-21T15:13:27+00:00

Why were you texting that much to begin with? I would have made it clear when I hung out with her where I was heading.

Sock_Puppet_Orgy · 2014-10-21T16:14:35+00:00

That, or they really just aren't interested in you anymore. Often times, I will go on a date or two with a girl, feel like it went well, and then she will never contact me again. I'll send texts, sometimes even straight up ask her to tell me she is uninterested if that is the case, so I can move on, but she will never reply.

I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but I find it unbelievably rude. Is the go-to way for a girl to tell a guy that she is uninterested not replying at all? Because that's just cruel...

SpaceToaster · 2014-10-21T18:17:57+00:00

A very good example of where you should keep your cool instead of going psycho crazy butt-hurt like so many guys seem to do! Happens all the time to the guys my girl-friends talk to when they stop giving 100% attention and validation and the guys are too insecure to handle it so they jump to worst case conclusions. Instantly kills all attraction. Also have seen it on seddit, RSD forums etc.

nedmccrady1588 · 2014-10-21T18:59:44+00:00

I needed to read this too. Got "stood up" by a girl on friday when she was the one who suggested the date. I've been killing myself all weekend trying to find an explanation and this seriously helped me relax

2014-10-21T15:02:53+00:00

I'm gonna burst the bubble guys. But this must be said.

Trust your gut.

Always and always. If a girl goes cold after being really responsive, and your gut is telling you she's probably met someone else and may even be hooking up with him at this very moment, its more than likely true. Despite what she says if and when she ever comes back.

I learned this the hard way.

This may sound bitter, or hard to swallow. Well, it is. That's how life is. You shouldn't need this girl, and if you're feeling low because she's not responding back, that's the world's way of telling you to take a few steps back and let go. There are plenty of other girls out there.

This way, if she does come back, you won't instantly forgive her as if to say "Oh thank you lovely lady for coming back to me, oh how I missed you so!". No, fuck that. Have some self-respect.

Be a bit distant if she comes back. Let her win back your respect. If she likes you, she will try to, otherwise, she probably doesn't care about you, and just thinks of you as an orbiter.

It will hurt the first few times, but then it gets easier. It also will be way easier to bounce back when this happens again. And believe me, it will happen again. Good luck fellas.

2014-10-21T07:52:00+00:00

While I feel like this is certainly a possibility and can happen, I feel like it shouldn't be assumed that the issues holding her back from hanging out and that she could just be making excuses because she feels bad.

I actually just posted a thread here asking for advice on something like this, haha.

I'm hoping that the case is the same as yours, but it's hard to not be discouraged when it happens multiple times from multiple women :/

casp115 · 2014-10-24T06:08:30+00:00

Had to read this post a second time...just started talking to an old high school acquaintance again(a cute one at that). Hung out last weekend and a month ago before that(in a group setting). She asked me for my number on saturday and I texted her telling her I'll be at a bar near her workplace with some friends sometime this week and that she should come. Haven't heard from her in two days. Trying not to get my hopes up but like you said, sometimes life just gets in the way.

2014-10-21T12:36:14+00:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MMNykFaLNRM

thebeautifulstruggle · 2014-10-21T13:52:36+00:00

Also keep escalating.

2014-10-21T20:11:48+00:00

2014-10-21T23:34:49+00:00

Awesome thing to bear in mind. Could be real powerful for some people to break out of that mindset.

skullbeats · 2014-10-24T14:14:58+00:00

Are you still talking to her?

zomgitsduke · 2014-10-27T00:40:50+00:00

Great advice. You cannot jump to conclusions right away. The more reasonable you are about things, the better. I learned this the hard way. If you sent a text, you can pick up that mentality when she responds. No need to wait and calculate each second between your text and her response.

gurmies · 2014-10-21T19:06:48+00:00

As much as I agree that this does tend to happen, I think a lot of the time things go 'sour' because there's another guy in her life at the time. It actually makes a lot of sense, particularly if they're objectively attractive.

some_guy0 · 2014-10-23T02:23:11+00:00

Dude you are not the only one to go through this. I have been through this. It sucks big big time but you got to get over. Remember your current girl is always better than your ex. Lol !!

Title	A story with a moral: this girl suddenly lost all interest in me.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	315
Comments	66
Date	October 21, 2014 2:33 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2jun5o/a_story_with_a_moral_this_girl_suddenly_lost_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-story-with-a-moral-this-girl-suddenly-lost-all.1378368 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378368

Comments