A RP turnaround story, or how I got my wife to give away a cat.

mordanus · 2014-04-09T17:53:49+00:00

If you really want to see her go nuts start refusing the sex. It will make her want you more and make her realize that you can't be controlled by it. Say no and it will always put her in a questioning mode of what she can do to please you.

Another thing though man that you need to consider is that divorce isn't always the best option. A lot of guys get the red pill down and realize how trapped they are in their marriage and when we feel trapped we fight like hell for freedom. Try to not think of your marriage as being trapped for a moment and instead think of it as just a path you have chosen that went shitty for a bit.

My big thing with you wanting to divorce her is that most of the shitty things that have happened in your relationship has been your fault. Her not giving you sex has been your fault. You weren't leading in your marriage and you weren't being the man that she could respect and be turned on by. You weren't guiding her, leading her, or understanding her well enough to seduce her. You made yourself into a weak version of yourself and let her walk all over you. None of that is her fault.

As far as we know she has been faithful to you. She is a slob and doesn't do anything feminine around the house and that isn't good either, but if you wanted those things you should lead her to do those things.

When I first got the red pill I felt almost identical to you in that I felt trapped in my marriage. I blamed all the shit in my marriage on my wife and she became the bad guy to me. I had to realize that it was my responsibility as the man in the relationship to have made my marriage into what I wanted it to be and not hold other people accountable for my mistakes.

So seriously man do you want to divorce a woman that you are sexually attracted to that is willing to change for you and doesn't have a history of fucking people behind your back? You will get the privilege of losing at least half your shit and being the bad guy in everyone's eyes just so you can go out and fuck other women who are exactly the same inside? You aren't going to find a unicorn out there man. If your need for freedom is that great then go for it but remember that the grass isn't greener out there. All women are like that.

MarriedRP · 2014-04-09T18:18:10+00:00

I live in the suburbs with an office job, but I still like working with my hands; the feeling of accomplishment. So I'm out mending my fence. I'm really in the groove, about 2/3 done with the fence, it's going smooth. My wife comes out holding the baby and says "can you take the baby so I can have a break?"

Before I would have whined "honey I'm right in the middle of something here" and she would have fired back a whine "I've been watching him since I got home" and back and forth bitching and moaning until someone caved, both of us would be resentful. We'd done this dance many times.

This time I answered "no I can not" just plain and matter of fact, then continued with the fence. She said something snarky under her breath, walked back inside, got it figured out on her own. And by the time I was done putting the tools away, she had cooked me dinner. I had the sense of satisfaction of a job well done on the fence, bending the world to my will, and I sat down and played with my son because I wanted to, when I wanted to. Feels good man.

1talldarkandhandsome · 2014-04-09T16:48:02+00:00

She doesn't want kids. I'm not sure I do, and definitely not with her.

Dude. this sent chills down my spine.

This was a huge red flag for me when I was still deciding if I wanted to be married.

jcrpta · 2014-04-09T19:25:26+00:00

Caution: extreme danger ahead!

You've said "Sort it out or we're divorcing" at a very early stage in RP development, and that's had a drastic effect.

The risk is that you must be be prepared to follow that through. Because if you don't, the minute she goes back to her old ways and sees the threatened consequences don't materialise, you're completely stuffed.

purecyse · 2014-04-09T15:28:00+00:00

I want to become a man in full. I need to keep approaching hotter and hotter girls, and start fucking them. I need to set my own path 100%. I don't want a safety net - incentives matter.

I'm only a couple weeks into full-on RP and a few days into telling her I wanted out. We're in our early 30s. She doesn't want kids. I'm not sure I do, and definitely not with her. She asked for a week and I accepted (she is strong and persuasive). The dread game is working like magic, but I still want out. It doesn't seem fair, but I made it clear that I was not renewing my commitment, not even for this week.

You risk becoming abusive. It's what made women feel oppressed before they started "fighting" for equality and it's what has made TRP so vital for guys now, as women turned around became abusive themselves.

As my LTR started to "roll over" the last 5 or 6 months, I could see the same things begin manifesting themselves in me.

My question is this: As a married man, is there anything she could do that would make "everything" better with you?

Your wife is an experienced, sexy, intelligent woman married to a winner but she's comfortable and her SMV cannot be as high as it was when you got married, she can't possibly compete with all that "imagined" vagina you could get...the sex, the blowing, cleaning, dressing up, being more assertive...would having her be the perfect wife NOW still not be enough?

We_Are_Legion · 2014-04-09T15:33:54+00:00

You are definitely playing your value. That is RP. But what you did with the "communication" bit, I'm not sure most of us would do that, too much drama, uncertainty.

Most of the techniques, dread, for one example rely on a certain deft approach. You do not spark confrontation. You do not trigger someone's defenses.

Like natural PUAs wouldn't ever out themselves as such, again, successful husbands in complete dominant command of their marriages and their wive's adoration and happiness also do not do so. The words "complete", "dominant" "command" are harsh words to you. To us, it is implicit, from the very basics, that nuance and subtlety is a given. You can have a RP relationship with all the gears spinning without the woman ever knowing that she is being treated like a child. Being treated like that is always taken by its negative connotations, for us, it means she is made to feel protected, draws emotional validation from us, is never our equal or our friend, but our dependent. You become generous, but always on your own judgements, and never on her requests. All of her requests are feedback, you can keep them in mind or ignore them. And most of all, you don't do this from an aura of haughtiness, but of natural amused mastery. Acquire that skill. And reward good behaviour with good behaviour.

A woman is not as helpless as a child, and can be given respectable duty to contribute to your mutual happiness. None of this should become a chore.

That said, you are making good progress. Do NOT fight. If you are constantly hitting defenses or tantrums(or at all), then you are doing it wrong. You are not handling her. You are being an equal. Read up on theory. Also, the longer you give her to fix your qualms with you, probably the worse you will face a case in court. Consult a lawyer, despite what is happening at home. Good luck

Red_August · 2014-04-09T18:02:01+00:00

Manhood. It's the best fucking thing.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-10T03:34:55+00:00

I'm coming out of a long depression and taking drastic action....I want to become a man in full. I need to keep approaching hotter and hotter girls, and start fucking them. I need to set my own path 100%. I don't want a safety net - incentives matter.>

But damn if my change and dread game hasn't started to turn her around: She looks good and is making a conscious effort to improve herself (cleaning, organizing, dressing cute, asking less of me). Sent me an underwear selfie from a bathroom while she was out, the first ever. She offers sex and doesn't refuse it.>

Another man discovers the Dread! Welcome. I had a very similar come to Jesus conversation with my wife after I took TRP. I also went through a time when I thought of using my new knowledge to get divorced and spin plates. This is a common reaction after people unplug so do not make any rash decisions. You married this woman for a reason and you might want to consider them. The way your wife responds to you depends on YOU. Not getting sex means YOU were not dominant and clear in your intentions and approach. Also, consider the extreme hazards of divorce in your decisions.

In my marriage we have never been happier since I unplugged. She was waiting and waiting for me to take charge. There is a good chance your wife was waiting for you to take charge. This is your chance to reset the relationship and have the marriage you always wanted. Good luck!!

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-10T03:45:15+00:00

I am very surprised at the pro-marriage statements on this thread. My question when I took TRP was almost like this one- and I asked it over on RPW because I was scared the PUA's would convince me to dump that bitch.

wanderingfun · 2014-04-09T20:44:54+00:00

Some questions for introspection.

Why is "become a full man" for you contingent upon fucking hotter and hotter girls?
If she responded to your change into a pilot in the marriage, would she follow your lead on a decision of children or no children?
Why is staying inside a marriage related to a safety net?
What purpose does marriage fill for you?

Some comments for others, not necessarily aimed at you since I don't have the full picture of your situation, but these are definitely in reaction to your post.

Change is not necessarily leadership. Leadership is not necessarily just change.
Your marital/relationship status has no bearing upon working on yourself, as self-improvement is always and forever a lone continuous effort at its heart.
Finding, setting and maintaining your own path can occur within different contexts, whether married/single/LTR.
Proven ability for rational thought at a sustained level, a solid and continuous record of accomplishment, and bed freakiness in one package is extraordinarily difficult to find in women. Hamstering levels can be mitigated a lot in these women. But it might take more intense effort for those brief moments. Up to you to decide if your style of hamstering mitigation is continuous management at a chronic low level, or far less frequent, brief intense bursts.
It is not uncommon for TRP-style leadership to bust status-signaling behavior in women. If you don't like that game, it usually is entirely within your power to dictate the degree of signaling you will accept. Sensible women will follow. For a lot of women, if you convince them this is really how you operate, it is actually a relief to them that you do not assign any reflected worth upon them based upon the status they signal through material possessions or displays of wealth. Most of that competition is between women themselves, but can be overridden by a confident man they look up to in their lives.

heavywepsguy · 2014-04-09T20:11:17+00:00

Just curious, this chronic vaginal condition couldn't possibly be contracted from past partners/partners on the side, could it?

ER_HerbalTea · 2014-04-09T18:57:58+00:00

Reading this actually makes me want to stop visiting TRP. Seeing someone put so much fault on another for their own shortcomings in the guise of a RP awakening just seems off.

[deleted] · 2014-04-10T07:09:42+00:00

I'm really happy for you, whatever you do, and my what a storey! Keep us updated brother. All the best.

Title	A RP turnaround story, or how I got my wife to give away a cat.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	40
Comments	34
Date	April 9, 2014 12:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/22lqd8/a_rp_turnaround_story_or_how_i_got_my_wife_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/a-rp-turnaround-story-or-how-i-got-my-wife-to-give.13799 https://theredarchive.com/post/13799

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