Hola bitchachos! Seeing as how my birthday is coming up, I figured I'm old enough to share some of my views on the matters of seduction and life.

By no means is this a step-by-step guide on how to pick up women. But a lot of it has helped me immensely throughout my life and also in my interactions with women.

- Embrace the unknown.

I’m about to turn 31. When I was 19, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I tried college and hated it. Working meaningless jobs didn’t really appeal to me. I needed some excitement in my life. So what did I do? I joined the army. The infantry to be exact. Now I’m not saying drop all you shit and sign your life away to Uncle Sam, but being in the army gave me a different perspective on life. Yes, I went to war. Yes, I lost friends. But I also did a lot of cool stuff, and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I went from being a 125-pound wallflower to a 165-pound confident man. Every aspect of my life improved. Women, friends, family, you name it. At the time, I didn’t know what I was getting into, but it was definitely worth it in the end.

- Have variety in your life.

We all have “types” of women we prefer. I love petite Latinas. For a long time, those were the only ones I chased after. As I got older, I realized that every woman has something new to offer. Whether it be sexual, emotional, intellectual, physical, whatever you want, it can be found. It may take some time to find whatever it is you’re looking for, but patience is a good quality to have. I’ve been with every type of female. And every single one of them has taught me something new. Women in general are sexy, but you shouldn't settle for one specific type.

- Read, read, read.

I’m not talking about comic books or manga. One of my really good female friends recently told me; if you go back to someone’s place and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them. Plain and simple. Reading is the one thing you can never do enough of. I’m not talking about Fight Club or 50 Shades of Grey. You want to have deep conversations about life? Read literature. Tolstoy, Hemingway, Faulkner, Kerouac. You want to know how to be a romantic? Read poetry. Bukowski, Shakespeare, Neruda, Cummings. Read stuff that interests you, and then figure out how to make it meaningful to women.

- Don’t be a douche.

Seriously. Women put up with a lot of shit. The last thing they want is to get let down by that attractive guy just because he was being an ass. Instead, be charming. What does that entail? Have some fucking manners. Open doors for her. Say yes, please, and thank you. Treat her as your equal. Compliment her. Look at her when she is speaking. Trust me, if you act as if she is the only woman that matters, she will let you ravage her whenever you please. Women may come and go, but charm lasts forever.

- Stay true to your word.

Women remember everything. I’m sure we’ve all heard that sentence that started out with, “You remember that time you said…” It’s as if they have a safety deposit box stored in their head of all the countless shit we’ve spewed from our mouth. You could be the second coming of Matt Bomer, but if you can’t stay true to your word, you will cease to exist in the eyes of a woman. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If she asks you to be somewhere at a certain time, you better fucking be there. Doing this shows her that you’re a responsible adult and you’re probably able to handle the next step.

- Man the fuck up.

I cannot stress this enough. Women don’t like boys. They like men. If you are eighteen or older, you are a man. Start acting like one. Women want to see that you’re making progress in life and you have your shit together. Make goals and go after them. Get a job. Shit, get two jobs. Finish college. Move out of your parents place. Take charge of your life if you haven’t already. You want that high quality chick that looks like she should be walking a runway? Get your shit together and man the fuck up.

- Smile

Smiling conveys confidence. Women constantly tell me I have a mischievous smile. Which is true, considering I'm usually thinking about having sex with them while I'm talking to them. But you don't have to be confident to smile. Even the smallest grin will get the biggest smile out of a woman. They want to know that you like what you see.

That's all for now folks. I'll probably make another list later, but I need some freaking shut eye. Stay frosty gents.