Who of you goes out clubbing solo?

BuyerOfCoins · 2014-12-13T21:58:20+00:00

Okay, so to the guys saying, "I'm not ready" I have to say: fuck that attitude.

Go out and fail, then get up and go again. Go out and mess up, then turn around and do it better next time. Go out and play the game for real. The only way you're going to get or ever be ready is to go live.

Play the game to win. Life's too fucking short.

2014-12-13T23:01:38+00:00

Ask yourself this- when you're out with friends, do you pay attention to which guys on the dance floor appear to have come alone?

No. Just go somewhere that you know you'll enjoy the music, and have some be outcome independent. You're there to drink, listen to music, and hopefully dance with a pretty lady. If the latter doesn't happen, well, you were there "for the tunes."

BuyerOfCoins · 2014-12-13T21:28:48+00:00

Went solo for the first time last night. The hard part is getting yourself out the door, and the approach anxiety, but some liquid courage helped me with that. Got to the club, grabbed a drink, danced and had fun. No hook-ups, numbers etc but I had a great time and feel extremely confident with myself now. Would highly recommend it!

SelfHelpManiac · 2014-12-13T21:44:14+00:00

I would only go out solo because I run my own business and don't have to report to work at a specific time unlike my friends.

My strategy was to get dinner at a place that has a bar (insert name of trendy sushi restaurant here) - go to the same restaurant a few times and befriend your bartenders (if its a good place they're have cute, american bartenders). Have a few drinks. You'll meet the manager, some of the wait staff. Don't sleep with the bartenders. Trust me on this one. You can bring home the customers though. They are fair game.

What this allows is for you to go out any night of the week and pre-game with your new friends. They are bartenders, so they know where all the hot spots are and inevitably people will come in to have a sake bomb or something and they will introduce you. These will almost always be beautiful women. They will want to go to the club with you.

Also, meet the bouncers at the club as well as the bartenders, owners, etc. This will come by frequenting the same places. Build an ecosystem. There is no place I can walk into in my city where I don't know some people - but it definitely didn't start that way. Start this process as soon as you can and before you know it you'll never be "going out alone."

Dr_Bishop · 2014-12-13T23:44:19+00:00

The only legitimate con would be creeping girls out... but I think that's all in how you present your being there solo.

"Yeah I came here with my friend ______ but he _______ and had to go home. It's early! I want to have fun / dance / whatever... (continue conversation from here like it's no big deal and you're happy to be partying instead of being at work/school/whatever you have going for you)."

I'd casually mention this at some point even if I wasn't asked, just so it's out there & there's not some lingering obstacle you've created.

I also think if you're in a club where half of the room or so is dancing, then participating in dancing is fairly important in my book. Even if you believe you suck at dancing, if you're on the floor and you just start to interact with a girl & then you're talking she's probably not putting much thought into where your friends are.

If you're just standing on your own, you don't dance, they don't dance, and you wander up to their group I can see how it would require additional skill to close in that scenario. If you were in a small bar where that is pretty much your only option I try to make eye contact and get a smile out of the girl... if you can get a three second-ish smile from a girl that's pretty much her way of letting you know she'd like you to talk to her.

The list of pro's is pretty long. One of the big ones is that you're getting to bypass the whole competition with friends dynamic. You're not cock blocking each other & you don't have to worry about who the best looking female would choose... you get to engage without encumbrance from your friends every single time.

CentralValleyAsian · 2014-12-13T23:31:51+00:00

With small bars, just brush it off and continue what you were doing. This rule applies to both small and large venues. I go clubbing a lot and get blown off here and there, and the best thing I learned was not making a big deal over it.

I would say the pros of going solo is you aren't being held back by your friends. You also have an excuse to meet other people. When you go on the dance floor, girls will be less hesitant to approach you because it's not as intimidating.

The bad part is a lot of girls will think you're some kind of loner whether sitting or drinking alone. This doesn't really matter in a sense.

As for being "ready": Taken from /u/unfragmented_Logik. Write down why you're not ready in third person. Throw it somewhere, read it again after 10 minutes and ask yourself "Are these legit reasons, or is this guy making excuses?".

Example: "The man didn't feel like going clubbing because he thought he wasn't ready. 'I'm going to play video games tonight' the man said to himself, 'because my friends don't want to go clubbing tonight'. The man was aware of the lost opportunity of meeting a really awesome girl, but he told himself again 'I don't feel ready'"

TissueReligion · 2014-12-14T00:38:47+00:00

I used to be in the same boat as you - won't people judge me and think I'm weird and awkward for being at a bar or club by myself?

But when I actually starting going out to bars and clubs, I realized that the loud, bustling environment means that nobody really knows who's with anyone, and that there's almost no difference between going clubbing alone vs. with friends.

rangamatchstick · 2014-12-14T00:31:11+00:00

for six months I did as I didnt know there were guys doing pickup in my city, and about twice a week on average. Was a good experience despite the first couple of weeks being abit hair raising due to being socialy awkward, but it got alot better really quickly and now after going out with other pickup guys I miss the freedom and pressure all being on me I had when I was doing it alone.

Kasanova01 · 2014-12-14T02:57:28+00:00

I recently went out alone bit didn't want to go clubbing all by myself. Went to a backpacker bar, met a dude with whom I went to a club.

I could talk and drink with him whenever I felt like it, but there was no obligation or pressure whatsoever because we barely knew each other. Would recommend.

Another time I went clubbing alone and noone gave a shit as people where just in dance mode

enriquex · 2014-12-14T07:22:19+00:00

Define clubbing.

If you go clubbing to a mainstream place with girls in tight dresses and heels and guys in shirts and nice shoes then yeah solo is totally fine. These places exist for pick up and literally nothing else.

If you go to "underground" places where everyone takes ecstasy and is in singlets and girls are wearing flat shoes so they can shuffle easier, you're probably not gonna pick up there anyway so there's no point. You'll look a tad odd being by yourself as well. However the brightside to these places is you can make friends far easier because everyone's so chatty and friendly due to the pingers!

spenrose22 · 2014-12-13T21:47:47+00:00

went out to a bar solo for the first time last week. Ended up getting kinda drunk and dancing my ass off, saw some friends down there as its kinda a small town but didn't hang with anyone for too long. Danced with a bunch of girls and made out with at least 4, including 2 girls that were friends and going back and forth haha. Just went out to have a good time and it worked, was a lot better than i expected. It is nice because you can focus on what you want to do (pick up girls?) and don't have to care what your friends are up to

DirtyMikeNTheBoiz · 2014-12-13T21:52:12+00:00

I know it's not the advice everyone would agree with, but just get drunk and go. Dance your face off, no one there knows who you are. This is why I like being alone. Judgement free zone. Go make an ass of yourself, have fun, adjust your approach, rinse and repeat.

CedgeDC · 2014-12-14T01:25:17+00:00

My advice is to always have a wing man. I was in the same boat for a while, so instead of trying to pick up girls I spent my time making some new friends. Going to a club with a buddy is way less daunting, and pretty fun if you have a couple drinks and just relax.

Also it's way less creepy for girls if you're not by yourself. Whatsmore girls club in packs. You need to be able to divide and conquer.

DFP_ · 2014-12-14T04:19:24+00:00

For privacy purposes I am now editing my comment history and storing the original content locally, if you would like to view the original comment, pm me the following identifier: cmuabum

iggloovortex · 2014-12-13T21:15:05+00:00

I considered it but I also feel like I'm not ready. I definitely might someday because getting out is good

blab_ · 2014-12-14T00:14:39+00:00

I did some times. Just got confortable (sometimes), moved around, but never opened anyone. I had nothing to say, ppl are always in groups, in their own space.

masterrod · 2014-12-14T00:23:42+00:00

In the beginning best to go out with someone.. if you don't have anyone.. do what you must..

As long as you smile you won't get harsh blow off most of the time. Easier than you think to get a conversation started.. That's the first step..

thebakerbastard · 2014-12-14T01:43:57+00:00

I don't think this is necessary at all, unless you have some logistical issues. I find it pretty horrible, clubs are not pleasant environments especially if your alone. Its definitely easier to f-close at one or with the girls you find in one but is it worth the money + time? I enjoy clubs but only if I'm with a good group of friends. Its also much easier to get women if you're with some friends because of the social proof they project.

If you wanna go solo (which i'd raccomend) daygame is great and easy albeit slower. Of course as a confidence boost its great as its a hugely scary situation and you can definitely grow and learn from it. Yet, I doubt the long term effectiveness of the RSD style "throw them into the deep end and they'll learn to swim" approach.

EstonianDwarf · 2014-12-14T02:10:17+00:00

How does club game work? Basically, eye contact and staring, then you move in and try to dance with her, if she's receptive go for the k-close?

dboyfasho · 2014-12-14T02:47:42+00:00

Right here, ask away Pros, motivation to get #s, cons, having to deal with any ongoing insecurities you may have about being alone in public, easily dealt with by getting shot down a shit ton of times Hottest single mom of my career I got going out solo at 1 am when my pothead friends wanted to just chill

7relos · 2014-12-14T05:25:30+00:00

Im not attending school, but just drove 2 hours to the only local college town to mess around at a bar. At first, none of the bars would let me in, because you have to be 19 (?) to get in. But eventually I found one that did. Had a good time, mostly was just being friendly to people. However, I had AA like a bitch because there were no girls there who were unattended really, there was one at the bar but she was drunk as f***

2014-12-14T05:31:59+00:00

lol dude. I'm 21 and just got my license suspended.

Because of this post, when I get it back I'm going to go to a club for MY first time (I always do day game). I STILL haven't even been to one. ANd I'm going to go alone. And you know what I'M going to do?

I'm going to scout the area, look for chicks, find the quieter spots (if there even are any, if not I'll go with the flow and still stick to the plan), and target chicks and start gaming them. I'll talk to them, ask where they're from, maybe one or two classic get-an-idea-about-you questions then straight up ask: So when you're talking to a guy like me, and it's his first time in a club, and his friends haven't shown up yet but you know he's a fun guy, what are your suggestions to him? Like if he wanted to pick up a chick like you what would you say?" hahahaha and other shit along those lines. Guarentee you don't see THOSE specific chicks agian. Its your FIRST night, what have you got to lose? And if you do, I bet next time you'll have a MUCH BETTER IDEA on what to do.

PUT YOUR PRIDE AND EGO ON THE LINE.

SOONER OR LATER, you'll realize, there was never a line in the first place.

EDIT: And I WILL be reporting back. Even if I make an ass of myself. I really don't give a fuck. Honestly, I'll probably make a video for you too and close caption it if I have to. It's all just fun to me.

EDIT AGAIN: I just went through your post and asked for advice. Thanks for posting OP <3

am1dha · 2014-12-14T10:24:05+00:00

Solo is fantastic, I have started going out Solo since my wingman is lame - got a kiss close on my first solo night out , so it was a great start for me. Just walk around speak to everyone and open women

recyclablebantha · 2014-12-14T14:10:01+00:00

I'd like to know who actually goes out solo and what the pros (and maybe the cons) are of going out solo.

I have loved doing that, personally.

Pros: No more waiting around for people to get ready. You set your schedule and changing it is easy because it's just you. No more putting up with those friends (or friends of friends) who might cock-block in any number of intentional or unintentional ways.
Cons: You will live or die by your ability to be social and ready to engage with the crowd.

I also want to know if you go out and get blown off, how you deal with that especially in small clubs and bars (in my city there are almost no big clubs).

There will always be assholes or people who don't want to interact. You can't go in expecting that people will be that way, or your expectation will cause far more people to be that way towards you.

If you go in expecting that people will be fine with you, then it's more likely to be so.

Lastly, it really helps to be focused on observing everything around you. You'll have so much material to talk about or relate to people about. Be on the lookout for unusual or funny things that may be happening all around you at all times.

The_Coolest_Guy · 2014-12-13T21:17:35+00:00

I haven't done this, because I would also say I'm not ready. But the only way to become ready for things like this is to push yourself socially so you are no longer afraid. I'm working on doing that at the moment but still haven't reached the level of going out solo.

One of the pros is obviously getting to talk to girls by yourself without the distraction of friends. If you get rejected, none of your friends are there to witness it so you should theoretically have less fear. It is also easier to focus on talking to girls if that is your goal.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-12-14T01:31:39+00:00

Never have. Id probably get bored

DrDiarrhea · 2014-12-14T05:30:12+00:00

Fuck, just do it. Hint, show up later in the night..round 1130. People won't notice.

chomuwongson · 2014-12-14T07:55:36+00:00

i went clubbing by myself yesterday. i arrived at the club at about 9 pm and the club wasn't really poppin yet so i just started to get onto the dance floor and started vibin really hard. the dj was playing the song "hotel room" by pitbull, which is my fourth favorite song, so i was getting really into it. everyone was watching me but i didn't really care because i was just trying to have fun on my own. then this group of 3 HBs came up to me (4, 4, and 2 respectively) and told me that i danced hot. when the 2 turned around i punched her in the back and told her to get out of the club. one of the 4s said "what the fuck are you doing?" and i started running away because i realized i fucked up bad. then the bouncer came over and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder while i was pounding his back and crying. i even wore my new shirt today from express that i borrowed from my little brother.

Title	Who of you goes out clubbing solo?
Author	BuyerOfCoins
Upvotes	85
Comments	70
Date	December 13, 2014 8:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2p75bp/who_of_you_goes_out_clubbing_solo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/who-of-you-goes-out-clubbing-solo.1380862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1380862

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