Those who opted out of social media, how's it going for you? How has it changed your dating/social life?

SiXXEros · 2015-01-06T14:34:32+00:00

Like I tell every woman I've ever dated that asked why I didn't use Facebook... "Life with Facebook is an 8 at best that slowly degenerates the more one cares about updates, likes, shares, and comments. Life without Facebook... A 10. Why? I keep my circle close and the only people who matter to me are those that actually use my number."

In college I wrote several papers on the negative effects of social media. Depression, anxiety, external validation-seeking behavior, and neurosis all have connections to continued and dependent social media use. I'm not going into length as there is plenty of research online to draw your opinions however the recurring symptom is increased anxiety. No matter how you slice it, chronic use of social media increases anxiety.

That's just the psychosocial aspect... My personal reason for not using Facebook is that I don't feel a need to share pictures and shit to people I probably don't even hang out with. "Keeping in touch" as others like to point out, for me, is unnecessary when a phone call or texts are much more personal and free of advertising and the drama of the Internet. I'm a people's person and Facebook is just an extra layer of technology that adds a social filter to communication.

BTW, I'm 28.

RickenAxer · 2015-01-06T13:46:41+00:00

I am 45. I was an early adopter of Facebook (pretty much the first day they dropped the "student" requirement) and an early quitter (+/- 2007).

I have no doubt that staying off of social media has hindered my dating/social/professional life.

On the other hand, I don't enjoy social media; I think that participating with little genuine interest wouldn't help, either.

zomgitsduke · 2015-01-06T15:29:31+00:00

I've opted out by not posting much in the past three months. When I do post, more women seem to be responsive. Gotta keep a mystery to you. It shows if Rick climbing and motorcycle adventures, but not much more.

blinky6 · 2015-01-06T14:18:19+00:00

Hey there buddy. I'm 18 and opted put of social media some 5 months ago. This could get long.. but you asked haha

Firstly, "social" media is not natural. If you're not careful it'll turn you into a narcisst person. And that's all it is in essense, a narcisstic community (Facebook) that is more of a contest than a social hub. Like a game. When you break it down, why do you even post a photo? 90% of the time it's so people can see it, so your "friends" know what you're doing today that is better than their activities.. Look at my life, Look where I am, Look what I'm doing.. This goes for statuses etc. too.

Secondly, it's demoralising as you constantly (often subconciously) compare your life to everyone elses. This isn't even a proper comparison anyway. What your actually comparing is your 'behind the scenes' to other peoples highlights. Get what I mean?

Next, and probably my biggest argument, is that social media communication is not fucking REAL. Sending electronic text to people encoded via computer algorithms isn't talking. 90% of our language is non verbal, the other 10% is with the lips and voice and tone, which funnily enough you're not experiencing either on social media, so it's like you're communicating with lets say 5% effort and understanding. I'd rather look into someones eyes than look into a computer screen.. talking over social media requires little to no effort.. So in essense, if it requires minimal effort for somebody to contact you on social media.. what's the point? That interaction has had nothing invested in it.. the interaction means zero.

In context with this sub, when it comes to women.. They love it. Deleting Facebook is pretty dramatic. And also that chick can't look up your name on fb, so you're instantly mysterious. There's no wall of information for them to see of you. I prefer to get to know people the proper way instead of by their social media profiles.

It feels good not having this little world of social media in my life. Before, it felt like there was the real world, and then the social media void where I and others could portray ourselves in whatever light we chose.

I also gave up Instagram and Snapchat as they are both litterred with narcissm from people I know. Furthermore, I recently swapped out my iPhone for a basic Nokia phone which pretty much just lets me call and txt.. which is all I need a phone for. I now spend no time looking down at my phone to procrastinate, or pulling it out in social situations. I'm more present and take in my surroundings everywhere I go while people bump into me because they're too "busy" scrolling on their smart phones.

Also leaving social media will get rid of 90% of your fake friends who were really all along just acquitances who wanted something from you.

Heres some vids too.. Chances are you've seen the first one, but the second one is awesome

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8UouP8cRYZ8

viksenpai · 2015-01-06T20:41:06+00:00

I get the best out of Facebook - connecting with people. Old classmates, friends of friends that I met on a party, basically people who I'd have a hard time tracking if not for social media.

Other than that, I visit FB once a day and if I don't see any notifications or don't intend to talk to someone I immediately close it. No browsing, no flash games and whatnot. For 5 years I've uploaded 2 pictures of myself, 4 xkcd comic strips and I think a couple of silly images.

So I wouldn't say I've opted out, but I don't frequent social media at all. Honestly, that hasn't had any negative effect on my social life. And as I said, it has allowed me to reconnect with old friends, etc. After that people go in my phonebook and are subjected to face to face harassment. :p
Pretty positive stuff, I'd say.

P.S. I'm 24.

gexxx007 · 2015-01-06T18:05:33+00:00

I fuck different chicks every weekend and I never used Facebook, just like the fuckers of the 80s and 90s.

12_f_taiwan · 2015-01-06T16:09:18+00:00

I think this is good advice Should You Delete Your Facebook? (Christmas Speci…: http://youtu.be/So4mh9j_waQ tldr: don't delete/opt out, disable news feed with add-ons

MacroCode · 2015-01-06T17:51:33+00:00

I'm 21 and graduating college. I have facebook bookmarked and check it almost daily but never do anything. It's a complete time waste and mental drain. I'm on a dance team (read half the team is female) so facebook is used almost constantly for team updates and scheduling.

After graduation and finding a stable job I plan to delete facebook. I'm keeping it for now because it may help in the job search (I have no idea how but it might), and because I need to keep up with the team. After that is done I see no way in which facebook will add value to my life.

2015-01-06T17:57:14+00:00

had Facebook starting somewhere in 2007, was off for almost a year in-between 2012-2013, back after my girlfriend left me in late 2013 solely for dating purposes and reconnecting. As of 2 weeks ago, I've dropped all forms of social media (Facebook and twitter, i never had instagram). My personal opinion is that while social media can be a useful tool in reconnecting with past flames and facilitating new ones, its distracting. Elaborating, it prevents the individual from living in the moment, being process oriented, and being truly happy with themselves which I think leads to happiness with someone else. just my two cents. i've been much happier during my times of not having social media… i definitely buy all the stuff about its linked to narcissism, depression, etc. btw I'm a 23 year old PhD student.

2015-01-06T18:23:36+00:00

I'm 23, so Facebook, Myspace, etc. were big in high school. I never opted into social media, from an early onset I saw that aside from seeing what people you couldnt see face to face often were up to it had little value.

I have an Instagram that I rarely use and a Twitter account for lurking interesting people. I don't think having a Facebook would have enhanced my dating or social life in anyway.

Not2original · 2015-01-06T19:10:36+00:00

33 Droped it in 2006. Wasn't really interested in it never checked it. I had the phone numbers of people I wanted to keep in contact with. So didn't really see a point.

Don't miss it one bit, and I don't feel it has hampered me in any way.

2015-01-07T01:22:20+00:00

26 I quit all social media a year ago, save for reddit. I find that while I was in a relationship it didn't hinder me at all no more passive friendships anyone who wanted to be a part of my life had to try and I also had to do the same to be involved with them. What I'm finding now that I'm single not using dating websites is forcing me to be charming in person and overall helping me meet new friends and women in person. Now I haven't mastered going out solo so i rely heavily on a wing man or a friend to go out. Whereas with online dating you have a bit of an advantage in meeting people, but I'm stubborn and I'm gonna keep at it I used to be such a social media whore and wasted so many hours doing nothing. I'm much better off now, just think I'm at a disadvantage In meeting people over those who use dating websites.

joshsway · 2015-01-06T16:28:05+00:00

Honestly, this shouldn't matter that much unless you are spinning many plates and want it to be hard for girls to find info about you online.

IbanezAndOatz · 2015-01-06T18:36:38+00:00

Software engineer, and I've opted out of all social media for about 5 years. I waste enough of my time in front a screen. My life is lonely, and I see a bunch of my friends get "snap chats" and all that bs. Idk, they probably aren't any happier than me though.

I also refuse to date any girl who uses any of them. The validation people receive from social media is ridiculous, and it tells you a lot about someone when they post their bikini photos on instagram or the like. We live in a world of attention whores who aren't doing anything with their lives really.

Title	Those who opted out of social media, how's it going for you? How has it changed your dating/social life?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	38
Comments	21
Date	January 6, 2015 9:55 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ri1xb/those_who_opted_out_of_social_media_hows_it_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/those-who-opted-out-of-social-media-hows-it-going.1381915 https://theredarchive.com/post/1381915

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