I fall in love with girls from just talking to them

Hashisme · 2015-02-13T06:05:36+00:00

Someone here or on a blog once said "You don't fall in love with the woman, you fall in love with the illusion." The illusion of what? Of an attractive woman, of sex, of a happy life, of whatever your subconscious relates beautiful women to.

I'd say the quote applies here.

DDOS_Feeler · 2015-02-13T02:44:07+00:00

Keep your focus on what is happening, rather than projecting into the future and imagining what could happen. Also, assume attraction. Keep the mindset that she's into you, I think you should be fine.

2015-02-13T02:43:57+00:00

Have you read the sidebar? This is usually caused by a scarcity mindset. Look up some posts on abundance mindsets here, you'll see all the info you need.

infernalsatan · 2015-02-13T08:09:30+00:00

Ted?

galactic_fury · 2015-02-13T04:06:58+00:00

As others have posted, anxiety is usually caused by a scarcity mindset. When I started out, I too was super anxious. In my case, I would find every female sexually attractive and hope to hit on her. And I hated myself for being so desperate. The only way I found to get over that anxiety is to simply keep doing it again and again until you're subconscious is like, "Hey! This ain't so scary after all." and then you will be more relaxed.

ymiapheramone · 2015-02-13T10:05:13+00:00

This comes from idealization, exactly how the other guy explained it in this thread. You need to understand that women are just as flawed as men are and have imperfections.

I don't mean the cute way how she might not trust herself fully. It's how she might be a bitch when she's on her period or how she might not always remember to consider your feelings in the relationship or how she always puts her girlfriends above you.

At the end of the day you just don't know anything about this person. All of these things may be true or they may not but the point is that you cannot know. Suddenly, idealizing her seems like a huge mistake.

RAWRzilla22 · 2015-02-13T12:02:53+00:00

You, my friend, are an optimist. By that I mean, when youve just met somebody and don't know anything about them, you fill all the holes of information about them you don't have with good things.

You make positive assumptions about things you don't know about them. You fall in love with the idea of them. YOUR idea of them.

This unrealistic approach is going to always blow up in your face, because when you are struck with any realistic part of their personality/being, it is going to send you reeling and you will not be able to see the best way to deal with the situation.

forseti_ · 2015-02-13T06:54:54+00:00

You are not in love with them. It's just that your hormones go wild and you start to picture her as your dream woman. It's called oneitis. Watch this video.

Love is something different. Much bigger.

whitesleeve · 2015-02-13T02:01:57+00:00

I would let it happen. Let the desire overflow me to the point where I'm not thinking about the possibility of failure too much.

Not2original · 2015-02-13T02:14:49+00:00

Attachment issues. If you can talk to girls and build rapport, then escalate and see how far you get with a ONS.

theshadowonthewall · 2015-02-13T05:23:42+00:00

You are putting women on a pedastal, you probably think they have godess like attributes. Women can sense this, and it makes you come across as desperate. When talking to women, imagine she is taking a shit, that will make her seem more human.

2015-02-13T11:41:21+00:00

I used to be like that too until I read up more on limerence.

HonestyReigns · 2015-02-13T03:42:20+00:00

You're using women as a distraction

2015-02-13T09:20:05+00:00

I'm the same. haha

Be aware of the fantasies.. and go 100% for the girl.

Even though I have HUGE fantasies in my head about girls I barely ever know.. as long as I still take action and go for that girl, things work out.

Be outcome independent though, surprises always happen.

But don't resist your fantasies, embrace them and take massive courageous action to make them reality.

masterrod · 2015-02-13T13:12:57+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you, this is what's supposed to happen.

It's just not love, it's reverie, or lust.

You ever look at picture of your family, and concern feel feelings of love?

philosarapter · 2015-02-13T15:55:20+00:00

Likely what is happening is you are putting the girl (or maybe even girls as a whole) on a pedestal as if they are higher than you and something beyond you.

Try to remember that everyone is human, girls no matter how hot, still shit like every other human being.

Try to see the person beneath the layers of beauty. It'll help you relate to them better and see them less as some angelic creature and more as another human being looking for love and acceptance.

bayow · 2015-02-13T16:30:47+00:00

Are you somewhat inexperienced with girls? This is something I noticed in both my friends and I growing up. Younger/inexperienced guys fall for girls easily, I've always thought this is was due to lack of experience. As I started seeing more and more girls that eventually faded away.

Someone here mentioned scarcity mindset and thats exactly it, except you don't fight that mindset by thinking and telling yourself you are the bomb, you do things that make you realize that you are. Some may find using cognitive therapy such as telling yourself this and thinking that to be useful, but for me its always been doing things against a harmful thought process in order to get rid of it. So I suggest you talk to as many girls as you can, don't worry about the feelings, they go away with experience!

lofiharvest · 2015-02-13T18:38:35+00:00

I used to do this when I was younger. You need to learn to exhibit control over your emotions. Nothing wrong with emotions however I can almost guarantee that you aren't actually "falling in love" with these girls. You hardly know these girls thus highly unlikely you have have formed a genuine two way connection in which love exists. Most likely what is happening is you are slipping into obsession fueled by an underlying fear of abandonment. Read 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' by Robert Glover.

Title	I fall in love with girls from just talking to them
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	27
Date	February 13, 2015 1:59 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2vpxrg/i_fall_in_love_with_girls_from_just_talking_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-fall-in-love-with-girls-from-just-talking-to.1383863 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383863

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