[FR] I approached a girl and told her she was cute

poopnazis · 2015-06-02T20:37:38+00:00

You accomplished your goal, so pat yourself on the back. You were 100% successful in what you set out to do. Don't dwell on her reaction. It doesn't matter. A millions reasons could explain her response that are all unrelated to you. Or it was you, and even then good. Now you know not to waste your time or emotional energy on her. Do it again tomorrow, but this time choose the girl and act when you get on the bus. And do it decisively and most importantly, with no expectation of something out of it other than perhaps a few friendly words. Hold your head up and feel good that you set a goal and met it today.

candid_salad · 2015-06-03T00:23:35+00:00

When you do your next approach, don't apologize at the end. Just say "Anyway, have a nice day" or something along those lines.You'll feel more confident and masculine just by being unapologetic about your sexuality and the fact that you find her cute.

Sorry that this isn't on the level of some of the stuff that gets posted on here.

Also don't apologize to us. You don't need to, we get hundreds of questions a day from guys at varying levels of expertise. I'd actually say this question is above some of the stuff that gets posted because you actually had the balls to go out and do the approach.

Try being confident and unapologetic. If you want something in your life then that's ok, you don't need to apologize to everyone while you go and get it.

enkae7317 · 2015-06-03T00:13:29+00:00

Hey! First off, good job :). You cleared a big hurdle. This approach reminds me of when I was first starting out.

Me and a friend picked up learning how to get girls and I wanted to try the "thought you were cute" approach I read up online. Supposedly really genuine and natural right?

Well me being the total noob I botched it up (don't even know how thats possible) and her reaction was, "uh, why are you talking to me?"

"I....I just wanted to tell you that you're.."

At this point she just turns and walks away.

Needless to say, I was pretty hurt that day. But now I look back at it and share a laugh with my buds.

Psychocist · 2015-06-02T21:37:15+00:00

Well done! Sounds like progress to me!

I'll share a similar, more creepy story. About 5 months ago one of the bus stops I usually get on at had closed for some reason. A cute asian chick and an old man came along. He noticed the bus wasn't coming.. so we all walked to the next stop. On the way, I took the opportunity to get chatting to this chick.

We had a bit of a conversation, but this old guy was waffling on about the war and we didn't get much chance to talk one-on-one to each other. We all got on the bus, her first. She went upstairs, I went downstairs! Idiot! Should have gone upstairs with her, chatted a bit more and tried to get her number, then got off.

So while sitting downstairs I convinced myself to grow a set of balls and approach her when she got off the bus (her stop was near mine - she told me where she lived in our initial conversation). I did just that, chased her off the bus like a stalker. We had a brief chat and I suggested we should go out sometime, got her number.

It was fake.

So yeh, it could have been worse. I think one major problem in both of our approaches is that we caught these girls off-guard. You're supposed be direct and forward. That shows confidence. Approaching them from behind IS creepy and will likely startle them right off the bat. Unless you're incredibly attractive, it doesn't sound like a winning solution.

Here's the real horror story - despite my situation vastly improving (better shape, now have a car) - I haven't approached a single girl since then. Do NOT let the momentum subside. Keep reading what you were reading and thinking how you were thinking that caused you to approach in the first place. Harness that shit and do it again as soon as you can! If not, you'll end up back up at square one.

acetokyo · 2015-06-03T00:54:05+00:00

I think you did well. As DJ Fuji always say, its more about the process and what you gain from it. I was at a budget eatery yesterday and I could not talk to the lone girl next to me. But you did.

You should just continue the conversation and try not to have pressure on yourself for getting anything. Enjoy the learning experience.

livingtribunal99 · 2015-06-03T01:29:11+00:00

The reason for her emotionless response is because your compliment was nice, but the way you did it had the undertone of weakness. "Hey i gotta get off the bus and run away from you, which means i was scared of telling you this earlier and just want to do it while i run... but hey you are cute"

Shes might be emotionless or upset because she thinks YOU are cute and she honestly wishes u had the balls to say it earlier so she can talk to you! Just remember that man, she probably liked you and wished you had done it the right way. So keep progressing and remember emotionless might mean something good.

dking168 · 2015-06-03T01:53:18+00:00

(Emotionless)

The best part. You can't win them all, it's a numbers game.

GEDLawDegree · 2015-06-03T17:18:12+00:00

Stop apologizing for everything. Start there and move forward.

freshly_baked_pizza · 2015-06-03T03:20:22+00:00

WELL FUCKING DONE MATE!!!

cruyff8 · 2015-06-03T04:18:46+00:00

We all have to start somewhere. The confidence I have at my age (35) was shaped from my (unique) life experiences. You have, no doubt, had different ones. Ergo, we all have to start someplace. It's good to see you started.

As you have a unique set of life experiences that lead up to this moment, so does she. You have no idea what these are, just as you have no idea who I am or what I've been through to write this comment.

Because you cannot know it, you must risk getting blown off for the sake of getting what you want. You did just that in this FR. Good on you, sir and I look forward to reading more posts from you.

notgaywhengaysex · 2015-06-03T05:26:22+00:00

Dude you're fine. I tell girls they're cute a bunch of times (more or less compliment a particular aspect of them, like their hair or their shirts or something like that).

The emotionless... I dunno dude, maybe she gets it a lot and is annoyed of it, or she wasn't expecting it at the time, or I don't know what. Can't do anything about saying "Sorry," although you can use this to learn that next time, you shouldn't apologize for paying someone a compliment unless you completely were disrespectful about it or whatever.

Just keep in mind that you shouldn't be ashamed. If for some reason you happen to see her on the bus or a random chance, just smile, nod your head, acknowledge her in some way, but don't force more of an interaction. That way (a) she won't be wondering why you're randomly avoiding her if you thought she was cute, and (b) you will show off that your compliment was genuine (if you were willing to go out of your way to compliment her, you better remember who she is).

Don't expect much more out of this one girl, but you took a good step. Sometimes a compliment is nice to hear when you're having a bad day, as long as you're respectful and know your boundaries.

enzo32ferrari · 2015-06-03T07:53:11+00:00

Me: Sorry.

I know I probably shouldn't have apologized, but it's something I'm not used to and I felt like kind of a creep after saying it. I even saw one of her friends staring at me out the window.

you're over-thinking it. if she just wasn't having it that day, then that's not your problem at all; how could you have known she was going to give you a flat response? you're right; you shouldn't have apologized for telling her she was cute. just approach approach approach and don't think about the afterwards. you'll only keep getting better at it AND YES, ANXIETY WILL SET IN IF YOU DONT KEEP "EXERCISING" IT.

think of it this way;

what if she gave you a positive response?

2015-06-03T08:03:02+00:00

Great job man, this was the first and harder step towards a road full of excitement and pleasant experiences. You will remember this approach a couple of years from now and say to yourself "thats how everything started" ;)

Some points for the future:

Your approach failed because probably it sucked. Your body language was horrible, you voice tone was too high pitched and quiet, your subcoms were "i wish this cute girl likes me", you were too scared, too needy, not confident and you weren't sex worthy enough. For a first attempt - thats fine!
I would not approach in a bus - at least not at the beginning. You can creep the other people out since there is no easy way to break out of the interaction if needed. If you want to approach during the day i would suggest tram stops, streets, shops, cafes etc.
Never ever ever say to a girl that she is cute/pretty/beautiful - unless you know how to properly diffuse it. Saying "You are cute" gives her free validation, makes her the prize and puts her up on a pedestal. We are the prizes here, not the women. Always approach with the mindset that she has to win you over, not the other way around.
Saying that, Imagine this interaction when you are significantly more advanced. You approach, you tell her "Omg, you are the cutest girl i've seen..." while maintaining strong eye contact and touching both of her shoulders "...in the past three seconds" and smirk with that jerk smile. You tell her "High five!" and immediately you hug her for a second and then you push her playfully. "So whats the deal with you?". Do you see the difference between the two approaches here?
Finally, never ever ever apologize to someone, unless you gravely offended them. Why did you say "sorry"? Because you followed your nature and approached a girl that you found interesting? Because you are a man?

Good luck in your journey man!

Entershikari · 2015-06-03T09:20:07+00:00

" sorry "

WHAT

2015-06-03T11:09:50+00:00

Sorry for what?

frozenGrizzly · 2015-06-03T14:24:32+00:00

Quick tip: When you go up to girls to give them a compliment like that, do it freely. If you're expecting to get something from your compliment (be it a reaction, a number, whatever) then it will come off as creepy because you have hidden intentions, and girls can sense that.

2015-06-03T14:36:06+00:00

Good now do it 100 times.

spodermen_pls · 2015-06-03T16:04:36+00:00

Do girls go around wanting strangers to tell them they're cute?

CaliBboy · 2015-06-02T22:29:40+00:00

Now you learned a lesson: the importance of eye contact. You need to force eye contact and by their body language you will can gain clues as to whether she is interested or not.

You just cold approached a random girl you thought was attractive but displayed no interest in you and your approach was not welcome. That's what happens when one follows pua non-sense.

Women are a different gender not a different species. Eye contact and body language will display if she's open to talk to you or not as with nay other person.

Title	[FR] I approached a girl and told her she was cute
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	58
Comments	32
Date	June 2, 2015 8:20 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/389p24/fr_i_approached_a_girl_and_told_her_she_was_cute/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-i-approached-a-girl-and-told-her-she-was-cute.1389089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389089

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